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Most people treat aphrodisiacs as folk fantasy. Don’t be deceived. When libido flags in women, there are many herbs that can help revive it. The biochemistry of plants like ginseng, dong quai, fennel, shilajit—even a few essential oils can bring powerful sexual regeneration to your body and intensify your libido. It’s your own individual response to specific herbs that holds the key to which aphrodisiacs are best for you. Loss of your libido can have many different causes. So when turning to herbs for help in the sexual arena, you will need to experiment a bit to find which plants work best for you. But watch out. It can not only be easy to create an experience of intense desire; it can be just as easy for a woman to end up fertilized by the results of it. Shatavari—Asparagus racemosus This Ayurvedic female rejuvenation tonic is also an excellent aphrodisiac as well. It’s been used for thousands of years as a female tonic to correct menstrual and menopausal imbalances as well. Traditionally known as “She who has 1,000 husbands”, it was long believed to give a woman the strength and passion to handle 1,000 lovers. Organic shatavari root extract contains a full spectrum of active and synergistic constituents, including saponins containing shatavarin. Use only this herb which is naturally grown or ethically wild crafted so it contains no chemical fertilizers or pesticides. Wild Yam—Dioscorea villosa Often restores a woman’s libido so successfully that I wouldn’t advise you to use it unless you have a sexual partner. You can take it as a tincture—½ to1 teaspoon in water twice a day—or as a dried herb in capsules, 4-6 capsules a day. I have known women who take as many as 10 capsules a day, but less than this works very well for most. American Ginseng—Panax ginseng Is as good a raiser of libido in women as it is in men, despite the assumption that it is a male plant. It is particularly useful for post-menopausal women. Drink it as a tea three or four times a day. Be patient it takes time to do its work. Shilajit—known by many names in many countries Has been used as an aphrodisiac and female fertility treatment for centuries. One of the most powerful “herbal” substances known, it has been used for thousands of years all over the world. It comes in a thick, tar-like form containing over 80 minerals from Himalayan rocks. It is anti-inflammatory, anti-stress and anti-anxiety, as well as anti-aging. Be sure to buy only the highest grade of Shilajit, wild crafted and gathered from the Himalayas, since only the finest will bring you your desired goal. Fennel—Foeniculum vulgare Is replete with plant steroids. In animal experiments it has been shown to raise the libido of both males and females. You can take it as a tea. Bruise a teaspoon of organic fennel seeds and pour 2 cups of boiling water over them. Steep for 5 minutes, strain and drink. Caution: Do not use fennel oil on your body when you are pregnant, as it has been known to cause miscarriage. Other simple herbs which you can add to your foods with a good reputation for enhancing libido are parsley, fenugreek—great to sprout and eat in salads—ginger, and anis. Even coca, from which chocolate is made, is a mild aphrodisiac. You can also use certain essential oils to enhance libido on the night. Massage your body and your partner’s with a carrier oil such as sweet almond oil or apricot oil to which you have added one of the aphrodisiac essences: Clary sage, ylang ylang, rose, or jasmine. Of course, this is for external use only. It’s powerful stuff—you need only 1 drop of an essential oil to each teaspoon of carrier oil. A capsule of vitamin E squeezed into the oil when you mix it helps keep it fresh longer. Next week on our Sacred Truth Podcast, we’ll be looking at some of the best aphrodisiacs for men, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, check out the links below for the best products you can find. Paradise Herbs, Organics, Shatavari, 60 Veggie Caps Paradise Organic Shatavari ultimate ayurvedic extract is the highest quality nature has to offer. Using a 100% natural extraction method the true essence and breath of the whole herbs is captured therefore retaining all of its active and synergistic constituents in the balanced ratio nature intended. Order Paradise Herbs, Organics, Shatavar from iherb Herb Pharm, Wild Yam We prepare our Wild Yam Extract from the rhizome of Dioscorea villosa vines which are Certified Organically Grown especially for us in their native forest habitat in eastern Kentucky. Order Herb Pharm, Wild Yam from iherb Nature's Way, Wild Yam, Root Capsules Wild Yam (Dioscorea villosa) was historically offered as "colic root" and used in herbal remedies for gastrointestinal irritations. In recent years it has become popular for women's health. Order Nature's Way, Wild Yam from iherb Triple Leaf Tea, American Ginseng American ginseng (Panax quinquefolius) has long been a popular herb. Modern research confirms both American and Asian ginsengs contain ginsenosides and supports their long history of use. Order Triple Leaf Tea, American Ginseng from iherb Dragon Herbs, High Mountain Shilajit Shilajit is one of the premier "herbal" substances known to humankind. Shilajit has been used for thousands of years throughout much of the world as a tonic. Order Dragon Herbs, High Mountain Shilajit from iherb Organic Whole Fennel Seed A graceful plant, fennel is an aromatic, hardy, perennial with golden yellow flowers and feathery leaves. Also known as garden fennel, this plant's botanical name, Foeniculum vulgare, comes from the Latin for "fragrant hay" Order Organic Whole Fennel Seed from iherb

There is no greater joy than becoming fully alive – experiencing day to day life as a child does, being protected from the ravages of premature aging and degeneration, able to call on high levels of energy, and live out your creativity and natural capacity for joy. This is what true health is all about. It is far more than simply being well. It is more a process than a state – a process by which you become more and more with each passing year who you really are. Within each of us lies an essence, a truth, a core of self, with one and only one intention - that it may be fully expressed, wholly manifested in material form while we live on this earth. Each year I become more aware that illness, lack of energy, a sense of confusion or lack of meaning in one’s life stems from a basic frustration of the expression of this essence. These things are often calls from the soul, asking you to become more aware of who you are at the deepest level, and live out your unique soul nature in your day to day life. True healing is a transformation. Energy, power and authentic freedom grow as we engage in the process of connecting with our true essence and soul’s purposes, and express them in our lives. To do this we need to call on all sorts of tools and techniques – from detoxifying body and mind, to herbs and natural treatments, to exercises for expanding awareness. each person is totally unique Take energy, for instance. Being able to live out your energy potential depends on how well you nourish yourself - physically, emotionally and spiritually - day by day. This means developing a lifestyle which incorporates exercise, good food, restorative sleep, and the myriad of other possible factors - from hydrotherapy to super nutrients - that help support your own brand of vitality at peak efficiency. But energy too depends on living from your core – not by other people’s rules. It depends on living what you love most in some way, what feeds you most at the deepest levels. In discovering this, and living more and more in this way, you not only fulfill your own life more richly than is possible in any other ways (after all we can only collect so many PhDs, BMWs and lovers). You also bring the very highest gifts that you have to give to your family, your community, and the earth as a whole. Live your soul’s passion and you call on virtually endless energy. For health not only depends on how you eat and what exercise you get. Ultimately, health is nothing less than the process of unfolding which each one of us goes through to become more fully who we really are. Once you begin to align your life with your own truth, the universe supports you in a way most people seldom dream possible. Working with people through their own health process, helping them discover whatever is most appropriate to their needs on both a physical and spiritual level, and teaching them how to work with these things, is the most exciting thing in my life. To do this I call on leading edge biochemistry - how natural substances can be used to shift anxiety or depression, to enhance hormonal balance in the body, to help you tap into high levels of vitality. I work with detoxification, not only of the body through foods and juices, but also of the psyche, using ancient tools and techniques based on shamanic principles that work to help connect people with their inner power for healing, vitality and authentic power. I explore what herbs and plant factors can do to support aliveness at the highest level. There is nothing I love more than sharing experience and knowledge abut these things. For each person is totally unique. Each of us carries a divine spark of soul which we are here to live out to the full – bringing our own individual brand of spirit into material form as we walk the earth. The beauty of watching this happen in those I work with is, for me, like walking in a garden and seeing flowers and plants, trees and rocks that I have never seen before. I continue to be dazzled by their beauty. That, to me, is what coming alive is all about.

The finest black chocolate is not only good for your body, mind and spirit. It can help protect you from degenerative conditions—from cancer and heart disease to Alzheimer’s. Yes, really! But it has to be the right kind of chocolate, and in the right quantity. Next time you’re feeling anxious, reach for a piece of dark, dark chocolate and you can feel good about it. The emerging chocolate story is a fascinating one that is just beginning to break. Casanova claims for Chocolate Casanova claimed chocolate was the perfect tool for seduction. Recent research explains why. Scientists in California recently isolated a substance in chocolate which links into our brain receptor sites and, like cannabis, brings sensations of pleasure and relaxation. This is just one of the ways mysterious chocolate heightens your passion for this seductive food while enhances your health and calming your nerves. Dark Chocolate Eating one an a half ounces dark chocolate a day for two weeks reduces your levels of stress hormones, but it has to be very, very dark chocolate—between 75 and 85% cocoa solids. Some of the health benefits from chocolate are due to the antioxidants present in cocoa itself, such as flavonols. These are a sub-class of flavonoids, and are natural plant chemicals (phytochemicals) found in fruits and vegetables. There are several thousand compounds belonging to the antioxidant-rich polyphenol family, also called phytochemicals, which are very good for us. Avoid Milk Chocolate A study published a couple of years back discovered that between 6 and 7 grams of dark chocolate per day, which is a little less than half a bar a week, is probably an ideal amount for protecting us against inflammation and cardiovascular disease. Any more than this appears to cancel out the benefits. But it must be milk-free. You see there is a huge difference between the minimally processed dark chocolate and the milk chocolate found in most candy bars. Raw, unsweetened cocoa powder which is high in antioxidant flavonols and contains no sugar is very different from the common cocoa drinks that are loaded with sugar. They offer no antioxidant support whatsoever. The total antioxidant content of chocolate products is directly associated with the amount of raw cocoa that the chocolate contains. A published in the ‘Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry’ showed that in terms of healthy antioxidant content, cocoa powder rated first, followed by unsweetened baking chocolate, and black chocolate.Perhaps even more surprisingly, dark unprocessed chocolate has been exonerated in a number of studies as exerting positive effects on your health. One example, believe it or not, is that it improves glucose metabolism. It also improves blood pressure levels and your cardiovascular system. Let me say again: you must choose very dark chocolate and forsake milk chocolate forever if you value your health. Milk chocolate has very few of these antioxidants. This is partly because it’s heavily processed. In fact, the typical commercial chocolate has less than half of the flavonoids remaining after processing. As well as that, milk chocolate contains milk, which tends to cancel out cocoa’s antioxidant effects. This was discovered in a study published in the journal ‘Nature’. The reason this happens is that proteins in the milk bind with the antioxidants, making them less easily absorbed by your body. Another thing about processed chocolate is that it ican be high in sugar, chemical additives and other junk including, believe it or not, lead. Many researchers contend that milk in processed chocolate is also often contaminated by other heavy metals, but no one is quite sure why how this happens. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should be swallowing chocolate every minute or two. The ideal amount of top quality organic dark chocolate that you should eat is very little.A study published a couple of years back discovered that between 6 and 7 grams of dark chocolate per day, which is a little less than half a bar a week, is probably the ideal amount for protecting us against inflammation and cardiovascular disease. Any more than this appears to cancel out the benefits. Sacred Foods This is not surprising because chocolate, like real organic coffee, has throughout history been considered one of the sacred foods and the sacred foods need to be honored. Such foods have powerful energies. We thrive when we take them only in small quantities. This is the only way we can take advantage of all they have to offer us on every level.

Our world is full of energy thieves. Excessive noise, environmental poisons in our air, water, food, chemicals we come in contact with to which (often unbeknownst to us) we may be sensitive or allergic, eating junk foods, even changes in the weather. All these things can drain us of energy. A well functioning immune system is dependent on your body’s ability to clear itself of the destructive chemicals we encounter every day in the foods we eat, the air we breathe, the water we drink - even from the plastics we store or microwave our foods in. Here are just a few of the energy-stealing environmental hazards the body has to clear, if you are to sustain high levels of energy and to resist illness and premature aging: antibiotics cleaning solvents cadmium and lead in cigarette smoke mercury from fillings in teeth aluminium from anti-perspirants, pots and pans and antacids lead solder from canned foods oestrogens from oral contraceptives and HRT anabolic steroids non-steroid anti-inflammatory drug contaminated foods solvents like formaldehyde, acetone and toluene pesticides and herbicides: DDT, DDB, dioxins, halogenates like PCB and PCP which act as oestrogen mimics and screw up our reproductive systems A major issue in energy-making is to keep your body clean - inside and out. This way you help protect yourself from the damage which toxic substances in our environment can cause. To guard itself, your body stores much of the damaging waste it picks up in your tissues - particularly in fat cells. Any kind of stored waste or toxicity suppresses vitality and immunity. heavy work for your liver The organ at the center of clearing the body of environmental pollutants is the liver. When your liver is working well and is not overburdened with potentially destructive elements, your body remains clean, your immune system is free to function well, and your energy levels can soar. When the liver is not working well, neither is the immune system. The liver, which manufactures important biochemical factors the immune system needs, helps produce lymph, and plays an important part in clearing the blood of cellular rubbish, yeast, bacteria, and other negative micro organisms. Good liver function is central to an experience of high energy. Damage to the liver and poor liver function is invariably present when someone has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Epstein Barr Virus, as it is when there is an overgrowth of Candida albicans. When your liver is poorly functioning all sorts of problems show up - many of them symptoms for which the average doctor has no explanation and no safe effective treatment for: depression, confusion, constant fatigue, numbness in hands and feet, headaches, aches and pains, sweating, and impaired function of the nervous system. Any good practitioner of natural medicine will tell you: at the core of every person with chronic low energy is an over-taxed, under-functioning liver. Experts often refer to it as a sluggish liver or a congested liver. Unfortunately a sluggish or congested liver can be tough to identify using standard medical tests, which examine serum bilirubin and other things like GGTP, LDH and AST. Often physical damage to the liver has occurred before poor functioning of the liver shows up in these tests. Nutritionally orientated doctors prefer therefore to measure serum bile and to establish how quickly your liver clears a specific substance in order to determine how well your liver really is working, long before serious damage has taken place. If you are chronically tired, with or without such tests you can be pretty sure you need to take steps to protect your body from pollutants as much as possible and give your liver some extra support to do its job well. Here’s how: environmental protection & liver support If you use paints or solvents always wear a mask If you smoke, stop; if others around you do stay away from them. Always chose biodegradable cleaning products and forget the chlorine bleaches. Avoid as many environmental pollutants as possible. Don’t cook foods in plastic containers in a microwave. Explore having the amalgam fillings in your mouth replaced with safer alternatives. Stay away from all drugs - prescription and otherwise - unless they are absolutely necessary. Exercise moderately but regularly - long walks are a great way to energize liver functions. Grow your own foods in the garden organically and go on a 2 day fresh juice fast or fruit fast, or a 10 day high raw regime every three months. look after your liver For lasting energy, this is a must. Without a top notch liver it will always elude you. How do you get your liver to function well? Follow the guidelines above. Also, avoid drinking alcohol so long as your energies are depleted or unstable. Even once your energy has been restored, it is a good idea to be careful about how much alcohol you consume. It is better to take alcohol in small quantities only and periodically rather than every day. If you really value a high energy way of life you might consider replacing it altogether with other things you enjoy - like dancing for instance, or laughing, or making love. When you do drink alcohol, support your liver using the special liver helpers listed below. They can also be useful in improving sluggish liver function while energy levels are still low. natural liver support Take anti-oxidant nutrients: a good multi-vitamin supplement taken for several weeks or months can help the liver more easily handle the elimination of toxicity and heavy metals. Try milk thistle: this plant (Silybum marianum) is rich in bioflavinoid compounds with powerful protective and anti-oxidant properties - many times more powerful than Vitamin C and Vitamin E. A supplement of clean milk thistle enhances detoxification, increases the liver's capacity to neutralize and detoxify harmful chemicals and heavy metals and protect the body’s natural anti-oxidant enzymes from damage. Nutritionally orientated doctors recommend between 80-200 mg of milk thistle three times a day. Use lipotrophic agents: compounds such as choline, betaine, l-methionine, and l-cysteine are known as lipotrophic agents - that is they help promote the flow of bile and the breakdown of fats in the body. Lipotrophics increase the levels of a couple of important liver elements - S-adenosylmethionine (SAM) and glutathione - a super detoxifier and protector from free radical damage. They are used to treat lots of liver disorders - from cirrhosis and chemically caused liver damage, to hepatitis - naturally. Exercise regularly: moving the body gets a good flow of blood through the liver and activates its functioning. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but it will make an enormous difference to how your body functions. under the weather Next time you feel out of sorts and somebody suggests it might be the weather, don't scoff. Weather changes can also steal our energy. Age old beliefs that "ill winds" bring sickness, odd behavior and general misery have been well supported by studies from all over the world correlating the presence of a high level of positively charged ions in the air, or an absence of negatively charged ions, with such phenomena as increased suicide rates, crimes and various illnesses including migraine, rheumatism, and nausea. This can be the result of ill winds blowing such as the Foehn in the Alps, the Sharav in the Middle East or the Chinook in America's Rocky Mountains. Our modern concrete office buildings, furnished with synthetic materials and artificial air-conditioning, also lack negatively charged air ions. If you work in such an environment, speak to your boss about how much he can decrease absenteeism amongst his employees by installing air purifiers and ionizers. light up for energy Light matters for energy too. When you don’t get enough full-spectrum UV light entering the eyes in winter or when you are constantly indoors, some people experience big drops in levels of melatonin - an important brain hormone which regulates our body clocks and influences our moods. This can lead to a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. Your energy seems to drain away and you get depressed, or suffer disturbances in sleep and appetite. The remedy? Try exposing yourself to plenty of full spectrum light artificially, if it is too gloomy to get under the real sun. Next time you replace a lighting fixture in your home or buy a desk lamp, go for one which uses full spectrum tubes. If you suffer greatly from light deprivation consider buying a full-spectrum light box. Studies have shown that exposing SAD sufferers to full spectrum light by having them sit in front of a light box for several hours a day lifted the spirits of 60 to 80% of the people tested. heavy metals and hard work There are other environmental energy thieves to be wary of, such as heavy metals like lead, aluminum, and mercury from amalgam fillings. Office pollution, too, can be a real problem, and a hard one to solve sometimes unless you can make your employer aware of how employee performance can be greatly improved by providing a clean work environment. Here is a brief guide to the environmentally-based energy thieves. ENERGY DRAINERS WHERE FOUND/SYMPTOMS HELPFUL HINTS Electromagnetic pollution Caused by static from electrical appliances, computer screens, TV, radio and mobile phones, microwave ovens, electrical dial-face clocks. Symptoms include mental and emotional confusion and hormonal imbalance Don’t sleep under an electric blanket. Unplug the TV in the room in which you sleep. Sit at least 3 feet away from a computer screenand 6 feet from your TV. Give away your microwave oven. Heavy metal pollution: ie from lead, aluminum, mercury, cadmium Cooking with aluminum pots, drinking orange juice packaged in aluminum lined boxes, using certain antiperspirants. Mercury from tinned tuna and amalgam dental fillings. Cadmium from instant/non-organic coffee and other crops grown on contaminated soils. Heavy metals interfere with energy producing enzymes in the body leading to fatigue as well as mental and physical disorders Replace aluminum cooking pots/kettles. Drink spring water such as Volvic. Use sea algae supplements and add seaweed to soups and salads to chelate and eliminate the metals. Eat apples (pectin helps bind and remove heavy metals from the body). Weather Unusual winds and shifting barometric pressure cause depletion in negative ions resulting in depression, fatigue, irritable behavior. Lack of adequate UV light, such as during the winter, causes Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Use an ionizer in the room in which you work and by your bed at night. Consider full-spectrum lighting. Office Pollution Concrete buildings, plastic furniture, and synthetic decor deplete negative ions. Stale air recycled through conditioning and heating systems contains bacteria which challenge the immune system.  Fluorescent lighting disturbs the nervous system, photocopier and printer chemicals cause allergic reactions. General office pollution symptoms: fatigue, headaches, irritated eyes, skin rashes. Use ionizers and replace fluorescent strip lights with full spectrum ones. Keep photocopiers and printers in a room separate from the one in which you work. Take a break from your computer screen for a few minutes every hour. Use radiation control screens.

Skin-brushing is an old and well-proven European technique for getting rid of toxic wastes from the body: both because it stimulates lymphatic drainage and because it increases the quantity of waste which is eliminated directly through the surface of the skin - a staggering one third of our wastes can be eliminated this way. I first learned the technique more than fifteen years ago. It was taught to me by a West Country physician named Phillip Kilsby who used it in conjunction with a high-raw diet as part of a program for healing many kinds of illness - from migraine and arthritis to high blood pressure and depression. When he first told me how effective it was in eliminating wastes and toxins from the body I did not believe him. He suggested a little experiment by which I could prove to myself just how effective it was at eliminating rubbish through the surface of the skin. He said, `Take a washcloth or flannel and wet it then wring it out well. Now brush your skin dry using the directions below. When you have finished rub the flannel over the surface you have brushed all over just once. Then hang the flannel up and don't use it again until tomorrow when you perform exactly the same routine. After three or four days smell the flannel.' That was all the proof needed! I use skin-brushing regularly, year round, several times a week. Many of the natural techniques for detoxifying the body are more effective if your body is not allowed to become accustomed to them by doing them every day. Skin brushing can be done steadily for three weeks with a week's break before resuming it again. After even a week of skin-brushing you will also notice an improvement in the look and feel of your skin. After a few weeks it even seems to improve muscle tone although I have never been able to figure out why this should happen. here's how You will need a natural vegetable-bristle brush (the long-handled kind is best) but a hemp glove will also do. Such brushes and gloves can be found in most health-food shops or good chemists. The brush should be kept dry. It is best to brush first thing in the morning before you shower. Brush the entire skin surface, except for your face. Begin with your feet, including the soles, then move up your legs, front and back, with firm sweeping strokes. Brush from your hands up your arms and across your shoulders, then brush your back and buttocks. On your front, brush a little more gently—your neck, chest and abdomen. In the abdominal area use a clockwise circular motion. To begin with brush fairly gently, increasing the firmness of the strokes as your body becomes more accustomed to it. After brushing take a shower. If you are brave you can alternate with warm and cold water (always beginning with warm and ending with cold). This is an excellent way of getting the circulation going and speeding up elimination.

Make them the base for salads, add them at the last minute to homemade soups, even carry them around with you in a bag and eat them instead of chocolate bars and biscuits. They are sweet and delicious and won’t leave you with an energy slump. There are many different seeds you can sprout - each with its own particular flavor and texture. Use the following chart as a guide to the variety of sprouts you can try. Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Alfalfa 6-8 hours 3-4 tbsp 5-6 days 3.5 cm 1½ in Rich in organic vitamins and minerals Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Fenugreek 6-8 hours ½ cup 3-4 days 1 cm½ in Have quite a strong ‘curry’ taste. Good for ridding the body of toxins Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Adzuki beans 10-15 hours 1½ cups 3-5 days 2.5-3.5 cm 1-1½ in Have a nutty flavor. Especially good for the kidneys Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Chickpeas 10-15 hours 2 cups 3-4 days 2.5 cm 1 in May need to soak for 18 hrs to swell to their full size. Replace the water during this time Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Lentils 10-15 hours 1 cup 3-5 days 0.5-2.5cm ¼–1 in Try all different kinds of lentils. They are good eaten young or up to 6 days old Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Mung beans 10-15 hours 1 cup 3-5 days 1-5 cm ½-2½ in Soak at least 15 hours. Keep in the dark for a sweet sprout Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Sunflower seeds 10-15 hours 4 cups 1-2 days Same length as seed Soak them and sprout for just a day. Bruise easily so handle carefully Seeds Soak time To Yield 1 liter Ready to eat in Length of shoot Growing tips and notes Wheat 12-15 hours 2 cups 2-3 days Same length as grain An excellent source of the B vitamins. The soak water can be drunk straight or added to soups or juices

Somewhere inside you is a center of stillness - a wordless, formless space - the home of your self or your soul: There seeds of creativity are sown which later become your ideas and your accomplishments. There in the silence and the darkness, you can begin to listen to your own `inner voice'. You can come to know the difference between what you really want, feel and think, and what habits, false notions and other people's values have been programmed into you. This space - your center - is a place of safety and security. You can move out of it, as you choose, to meet the outside world, form friendships, love and learn. Yet it is a permanent sanctuary to which you can always return when you feel overburdened, tired, confused or in need of new vitality and direction. The key that opens this particular door for most of us is relaxation. By relaxation I mean learning to move at will into a state of deep stillness in which your usual concerns, your habitual thoughts, and the never-ending activity of your daily life are replaced by alert - yet totally passive - awareness. Dipping into such a state even for a few minutes allows many of the physiological changes normally experienced during sleep to take place while your body and mind are revitalized. But it is different from sleep. For, while your body is passive, your mind is highly alert. passive awareness For some people passive awareness occurs spontaneously - often between sleep and wakefulness. It is during this time that their best ideas come and that they experience a sense of harmony both within themselves and in relation to the rest of the world. Most of us, however, have a fear of letting go, thinking that if we give up control of things we won't be able to think clearly and independently or work well, or that someone is likely to put something over on us. In fact, just the opposite is true. When you are able to enter a state of deep relaxation at will, this frees you from patterns of living and thinking to which you tend to be a slave - although usually an unconscious one. It enables you to think more clearly and simply, and to act more directly when action is called for. Another interesting benefit from the daily practice of deep relaxation is a reduction of negative habits such as drug taking - of both prescription and mind-altering drugs - alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking. Research carried out in the United States involving 2,000 students between the ages of nineteen and twenty-three who had practiced a form of meditation for periods of between a few months to a couple of years, showed that their dependence on alcohol, drugs and cigarettes dropped sharply. In the first six months of doing the practice, the number of smokers reduced by half . By twenty-one months it was down to one-third. And these changes were entirely spontaneous - at no time was any suggestion made that relaxation or meditation would change any of these habits. bridge your inner and outer world Harvard professor and expert in behavioral medicine, Herbert Benson MD, did the first studies into the effects of Transcendental Meditation many years ago. He has since continued to investigate this state of psychophysical relaxation and has shown that each of us has what he calls the `relaxation response' - a natural ability to experience the relaxed state with all its benefits. All we need to tap into it is a method to turn it on. The possibilities are many. They range from meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, zazen, silent repetition of a word, and autogenic training, to steady aerobic exercise and biofeedback. Each can be useful as a tool for silencing everyday thoughts and for temporarily shutting off habitual ways of seeing the world and doing things. Practice one regularly, and you build a powerful and useful bridge between your inner and outer world. All of them are different. Some will work better for you or be more enjoyable than others. That is why it is worthwhile to try a few different techniques until you discover which ones you prefer. Progressive relaxation is a technique based on the work of Edmund Jacobson; this is an excellent way to begin if you have never done any sort of relaxation or meditation technique before, because it gives most people some sense of what relaxation feels like even the first time you try it. As you repeat your technique (it is best done for fifteen minutes at least twice a day), you will find you enter a state of relaxation that is progressively deeper and deeper. Zazen is one of the simplest ways of meditating, this technique involves nothing more than just being aware of your breathing. But don't be deceived by its simplicity. It is a potent tool for stilling the mind and regenerating the body. And concentrating your awareness on the breath is not as easy as it sounds. We live in an age where discipline is often looked down upon as something which interferes with spontaneity and freedom - something old-fashioned and stifling to life. We tend to rebel against it. But the kind of discipline needed for daily practice of meditation or deep relaxation tends - far from stifling one's ability to be involved in the spontaneous business of life - actually to free it.

A technique based on the work of Edmund Jacobson, this is an excellent way to begin if you have never done any sort of relaxation or meditation technique before, because it gives most people some sense of what relaxation feels like even the first time you try it. As you repeat your technique (it is best done for fifteen minutes at least twice a day), you will find you enter a state of relaxation that is progressively deeper and deeper. The first few times you try the technique, you may find you have trouble picturing all the images as they come, or preventing your mind from wandering. It doesn't matter if you don't `see' anything - some people are more visual in their imagery, others more feeling; both work superbly well - just approach the exercise from your own point of view. become aware When you find your mind wandering (this is a common occurrence because your concentration is not used to focusing so intensely, or because you are experiencing something new to you, which naturally enough causes a little anxiety) ask yourself, `Why is my mind wandering?' Pursue that thought for a couple of minutes, then go back to the exercise and continue to go through it as best you can. All difficulties will iron themselves out automatically after you have practiced the technique long enough - so persevere to overcome any initial difficulties. Find a quiet room, preferably one without too much light, and sit in a comfortable chair that gives support to your back. Place both feet flat on the floor and close your eyes. Become aware of your breathing and just let the air come in and out of your body without doing anything. Take a few deep breaths. Each time you breathe out, slowly repeat the word `relax' silently to yourself. focus Focus on your face, and let yourself feel any tension in your face or eyes, your jaw or tongue. Make a mental picture of tension - you could picture a clenched fist, a knotted rope, or a hard ball of steel - then mentally picture the tension going and everything becoming relaxed, like a limp rubber band. Feel your face and your eyes, your jaw and your tongue becoming relaxed, and as they relax, experience a wave of relaxation spreading through your whole body. (Each step takes about ten seconds.) Tighten up all the muscles in your face and eyes, squeezing them as hard as you can. Then let go and feel the relaxation spread throughout your body again. Now apply the same instruction to other parts of your body, moving slowly downwards from your head to your neck, shoulders, and upper back, arms, hands, chest, mid- and lower back, your abdomen, thighs and calves, ankles, feet and toes, going through each area until every part of your body is relaxed. With each part, picture the tension in it mentally and then picture it going away; each time, tense the muscles in that area and then let them go and feel the relaxation spreading. When you've relaxed every part of your body, sit quietly in this comfortable state for up to five minutes. Now let the muscles in your eyelids become lighter; get ready to open your eyes and come back to an awareness of the room. Open your eyes. Now you are ready to go about whatever you want to do.

A child is born. The waiting and planning, the exercises for birth, the hoping that everything will be all right has finished. Parenthood begins. Oh my God - where do we go from here..? The task ahead seems monumental and you feel completely inadequate in the face of what is required. One moment you are filled with tenderness and wonder as your baby's tiny hand grasps your little finger in complete trust. The next you wish the thing would go away and leave you in peace. Why didn't somebody warn you that within the first three weeks, every item of clothing you own would be stained with baby vomit? Becoming a parent changes your life beyond all description. It could be years before you get another night's uninterrupted sleep. You learn about self-sacrifice for the first time in your life when a baby arrives. All at once everything revolves around caring for this tiny but determined creature who has entered your home, and finding the wisdom to do what is right for your child. There are so many unanswered questions. What do you do when he gets ill, or is unhappy? How do you feed him? Do you let him cry so he won't get spoiled, or do you see to his every wish so he won't be scarred by neglect? Welcome to the world of parenthood. Take heart. You are not alone in your confusion. Now for the good news: the task of raising a child is not as difficult as all the doctors and psychologists would have us believe - especially if you decide to raise a Nature's child. child rearing by the rules A few years ago I had lunch with a beautiful and successful American woman in her mid thirties. Sooner or later the conversation got around - as it often does with me - to children. This woman told me that she had a five year old daughter. I asked her if it was difficult living and working in New York while raising a child on her own. She replied that it had been hard but that now it should get better since she and her little girl were going to parenting classes. `Parenting classes,' I asked, `whatever are they?' `You know, where you learn how to be a parent. We go twice a week together,' she reported with enthusiasm. Curious about what was taught in these new programs, and at the same time suppressing a smile at the latest American attempt to package up something as rich and complex as parenthood and spoon feed it to clients well heeled enough to afford the indulgence, I asked, `What do they teach you?' `Oh, they teach you everything!' she replied, sweeping her hand across the table in a way that makes British head waiters loathe American clients. `For instance, when your child goes to pick up something from the coffee table that you don't want her to have, you must never be negative,' she said. `Negativity is not good for children,' she added, leaning closer in a conspiratorial fashion. `So instead of saying, "No, no," which might crush your child's spirit, you say, "Now darling that is a no, but this is a yes (pointing to other objects near by), and this is a yes and this is a yes."' forget perfect parenting I have little patience with such practices - nor do I believe there are a lot of set rules to follow to raise a child well. That is because, like a lot of seasoned parents, I have learned about parenthood the hard way. When my first child was born I was determined to bring him up right - not to make the mistakes that my parents had made with me, to ensure that he developed quickly both physically and mentally, and that he turned into the kind of person that I thought he should be. I worked hard at it. I read everything I could get my hands on about child development - all the latest theories and all the traditional wisdom. No time or expense was to be spared in bringing up this child. He would be breast-fed, disciplined, and taught to read by the time he was a year old using special equipment designed for the task. I would instill in him a strong sense of moral rectitude and good manners, and he would be given every kind of educational toy I could lay my hands on to help develop his creativity. Also I would never lose my temper, always be patient and kind (but firm of course) and make sure he didn't watch too much television. My master plan for child rearing might have sounded good on paper, but it had a couple of big drawbacks. First, no human being could ever have carried it out. Second, it completely ignored the most important truth there is about child rearing - a truth which I did not myself come to know until I had two or three more children under my belt. It is this: You don't have to read a thousand books and follow a lot of rules the so-called experts make up to raise a healthy, happy, creative child. You only need to learn to trust in yourself and in the incredible powers of Nature. You also need to develop the art of listening - with your heart and mind and instincts as well as your ears - to your child. Most of the time he will tell you what you need to know. Once I finally figured this out - many tried and failed strategies down the road - I let go of my anxieties and theories. Then motherhood became not only a joy for me but a source of never-ending wonder. I discovered that each child - not only my own children but boys and girls with whom I worked as a nursery school teacher, and others - is utterly unique and perfect in his or her own way. I also learned that one's relationship to a child has a life of its own and that, so long as you are willing to face each child honestly and openly day by day, and so long as you honor and respect this relationship, not only does this empower you to give the best guidance and care for the child, in some magic way which I still don't fully understand, it can even help heal deep emotional wounds within you as a parent. Most important of all, I discovered that the whole idea of perfect parenthood is a big fraud. There ain't nothing perfect when it comes to parenthood. Perfect by who's criteria anyway? The sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can get down to the business of child rearing and enjoying it. For me, raising children - whether it be dealing with a tiny baby or seeing your twenty-five year old develop year by year - has been the most exciting and rewarding thing I have ever done - or ever hope to do.