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Silence. Solitude. These words strike fear into the post-modern heart. We forget the power of escaping for a time into sanctuary, of listening to our breath, the sound of the wind in the trees, or the heartbeat of the earth. There are too many phone calls to be made, meetings to attend, children’s noses to wipe, newspapers to read. Yet solitude has much to teach us. NEW WORLDS AWAIT It takes courage to become a learner again. It asks that you trust enough in life to drop for a time all you know (or think you know) and retreat for a day, a week, even only half an hour just to be—quietly receptive to whatever arises from within or around you: the intense blue of a tiny flower which sears your senses burning away every concern for daily life; a wild thought—and where did that come from? The fragrance of cinnamon sprinkled on a bowl of homemade yogurt. Such things go unnoticed unless we spend enough time alone to experience them. The word “alone” was once treated as two words: all one. To be all one meant to be wholly oneself—all of one piece. This is the great gift of sanctuary. Practiced daily, silence and solitude heal confusion and mend the frazzled nerves that riddle modern life. Getting away from it all to sit on a rock or at a window and gaze at the sky, or look into the dance of our own mind, helps you come home to yourself. It allows the magnificent wildness of your intrinsic being to converse with your rational side. HEAR THE CALL FROM WITHIN Take a dozen steps into the solemn silence of a rainforest or simply of your own body. As you enter this mysterious twilight, you are immersed in past and future. You become part of a primeval world where all life feeds upon itself in a perfect balance of dark accord. You can watch as the whole history of creation is being played out before you, around you, beneath you and you feel part of it. Here, the profusion of plants, insects, fungi, and the bacteria they contain is wild power in its most concentrated form. Our rainforests are the main repository of the earth's gene pool. They are a source of almost infinitely rich morphic fields which have evolved over billions of years. They are also the most important natural resource we have. Wild virgin land carries a spiritual power which makes not only the human soul but the soul of plants and animals, rocks and mountains sing. Rainforests offer the living organisms of our planet a high degree of primordial life energy necessary for the perpetuation of their life. So it is within your own body. You not only live in the universe. You are the universe—the rainforest, the stars and the moon, the seas and the rocks and the sky. They are not only outside of you; they are within each one of us. This is a secret which few have as yet discovered. For we humans have, literally for eons, been trained to think of ourselves as less than what in truth we are—holders of immense creativity and compassion—able to do whatever we long to do at the deepest levels of our being. DISCOVERY BEGINS HERE I am asking you to put aside ten minutes of every day in which you enter the sanctuary of your own being to sit or walk in silence. Let yourself to become aware of how silence acts upon you. Is this something you are comfortable with, or something you try to avoid? Can you sense that there is a richness here that you have not yet tapped? The magnificence and the wonder of the rainforest lies not only in its beauty, but in the ordered splendor of its wildness. It is a wildness which you can palpably feel as you walk beneath its dark canopy of life. Making my way amidst the tangled vines which drip with moisture in this living sea of a thousand shades of green has always filled me with wonder, and made me realize just how far we have moved away from experiencing our own wildness in our urbanized, self-centered, mechanistic 21st century world. It makes me conscious of how desperately we need to reconnect with the creativity, power and wildness in ourselves, learn to trust it and live our lives from our own unique individual truths. INTENTION AND REALIZATION Energy always follows your intention. In shamanic practices most often we use a drum or a rattle to expand consciousness. I love the sound of the drum and the rattle yet I often journey into expanded realms by way of silence alone. I love simply focusing my intention, on whatever purpose I have chosen to follow, then allowing it to unfold, without having to rely on anything external. I believe it’s important that each of us develops this skill—otherwise we can end up like Dumbo when his friend the mouse gave him a feather to hold in his trunk as a talisman to make him believe that he could fly. The little floppy-eared elephant was under the mistaken belief that it was the feather that held the power to fly, when truly it lay within himself. The feather was only a reminder of this. And it was only when he accidentally dropped it that he discovered the truth. This is what you too will be discovering as you journey into the sacred silence. It takes a little practice, but the practice itself is fascinating, and there is no right or wrong way to go about it. It is all a question of living in the moment and allowing yourself to become aware of what is happening within and around you. HERE’S HOW Sit or lie comfortably, watching your breath go in and out of your body. Become aware of the way your breath moves. Is it cooler as you feel it come in through your nose? Warmer when it is exhaled? Now become conscious of your body. Allow any muscle tension simply to sink into the floor beneath you so that you feel deeply connected with the earth. Whenever you are ready, state your intention for your journey into expanded awareness. It might be to restore your energy, to discover more about the nature of reality, to awaken your creative power, connect with the world of nature, or any other desire you have just now. · You do all this silently. Now gently repeat your intention again and again, until you begin to sense a shift away from your thinking mind into your feeling heart. This can take you to a place of absolute stillness. Let yourself to go deep, deep, deeper within. Allow yourself to follow all the way back through time. Let yourself experience your connectedness with the wild evolutionary power that burst forth at the birth of the universe, if you will. This power is your power. You are the universe, just as the universe is you. What does it feel like? Exciting? Wonderful? Crazy? Wild? It is all these things as you are. Then, when you are ready, let yourself come back into ordinary reality, and record what you have experienced. When recording your journey into the sound of silence, put pen to paper and simply write about your experience, whatever it has been, for at least 15 minutes. Let the words flow without ever picking up the pen from the paper. This practice creates a flow that allows you not to edit what has arisen from the deepest layers of your being. When you are ready, give thanks to the universe for what it is, and to yourself for being everything you are. The more you practice this little exercise, the more you can come to know the truth of your own being and the richer your life can become. Do share with me your own experience entering the sound of silence practice if you’d like. I’d love to hear from you about it.

In our vastly overmedicated society, a mind-boggling 230 million prescriptions for antidepressants are filled every year. Over the course of one decade, their use has doubled—they are now the most popular class of drugs in the US. Yet they are far from the miracle drugs many believe them to be. Not only do they carry the risk of seriously dangerous side effects. Many trials have suggested they are no more, and perhaps even less, effective than placebos—mere sugar pills. In light of all this, it would be a mistake to ignore the safe, effective help for anxiety and depression provided by nature, which comes in the form of some wonderful herbs and supplements. It’s vital that you become aware of these natural alternatives in case you, or one of your loved ones, are in need of the remarkable healing they can bring. Natural Remedies For Depression - Banish The Blues There are many causes of depression—some are of the body and some of the psyche. I don’t think you can separate the two. Just as body and mind feed each other in producing the dark, seemingly endless blues which can set in at any period of your life, the herbs you call on for help will improve both body and spirit. When you feel depressed, you can feel anxious as well. Many of the plants which are effective in lifting the blues also help to clear fear and anxiety. Here are a couple of the best. St John’s Wort Known botanically as Hypericum perforatum, St John’s Wort is possibly the best herbal antidepressant nature has to offer. Its Latin name means ‘over an apparition’—a reference to the belief that a mere whiff of St Johns Wort will banish any evil spirit. Used since the time of the Greeks and Romans to treat nerve-related disorders, it is now the most commonly prescribed antidepressant in Germany. This makes good sense when you look at the research: At least 23 randomized clinical trials have shown that this plant is just as effective as standard antidepressant drugs, if not moreso. It’s earned its name as “nature’s answer to Prozac”, but can be used without fear of the dangerous side effects that pharmaceuticals bring. How to use The bright yellow flowers of St John’s Wort contain a red oil called hypericin which is antiviral and probably mood enhancing. Many studies show that it is whole plant extracts, however, rather than hypericin alone, that have the best anti-depressant effects. You can pick the flowers, leaves and stems of St John’s Wort while the plant is in flower. Dry them quickly, as you want to preserve the red oil in the flowers. To make tea, use 1-2 teaspoons of the dried herb in a cup of boiling water. Steep for 10-15 minutes, strain, and drink 3 times a day. One of the most effective ways to use St John’s Wort for depression is as a tincture. Take 1 teaspoon of St John’s Wort tincture in a little water 3 times a day. It should be taken for at least a month before results can be expected. A lucky few people, however, respond right away. Nature's Tranquilizer The drug valium takes its name from a plant. Valerian (Valeriana officinalis) was the primary herbal sedative used on both sides of the Atlantic before the advent of barbiturate sleeping pills. It is a safe and well-tested herbal remedy with a smell like dirty old socks. But don’t let that put you off since valerian is a powerful herb for inducing safe sleep – more potent than hops or camomile. You can take valerian in a couple of ways. I like the tincture best – 10 to 20 drops in a little water before bedtime or in the middle of the night when you awaken. Alternatively you can take a couple of capsules of the dried root. Valerian in lower doses is equally useful when your nerves feel ‘shot’, even during the day. It has the remarkable ability to enhance your ability to deal with stress and bring you stamina while it calms. Very occasionally, and only to a very few people, valerian will cause a hangover in the morning, if this happens to you lower the dose or try a different herb. Sam-E Short for S-adenosyl methionine, Sam-E was discovered in Italy in 1952. It is not actually a herb, but an amino acid, which occurs naturally in our bodies when we are in good health. However it easily becomes depleted by stress, illness and deficiencies. Though it has been popular for treating depression in Europe since 1975, it has largely remained unknown elsewhere in the world—that is, until recently, when it became available in the US. It’s still unknown exactly how it works to lift depression. One hypothesis suggests that it can increase the availability of two neurotransmitters that regulate our mood: serotonin and dopamine. Studies repeatedly find in its favor compared with pharmaceuticals and placebo. (You may be interested to read this 2002 analysis of depression trials by the Agency for Health Care Research and Quality) Sam-E is especially recommended for those who have tried and not responded to traditional prescription antidepressants. Help From Omegas Last but not least, there is ever growing evidence to demonstrate the importance of fatty acids in the diet to guard against depression. In particular, the levels of omega-3 in the blood of depressed individuals was found to be significantly lower than those of non-depressed people. This is in addition to the wealth of other well-documented benefits that omega-3s bestow. Yet in the United States alone, it is estimated that over 90% of adults are deficient in this essential fatty acid. Therefore, adding a good quality omega-3 supplement to your diet (see recommendations below) is one simple and effective measure you can take to bolster your mental and overall wellbeing. LESLIE RECOMMENDS I have tested all of the products that follow, both personally and with others who wanted to leave behind antidepressant drugs in favor of natural alternatives. I have also listed below what I believe to be the best brand you can buy in the case of each product. Valerian Root Liquid Phyto-Caps - Gaia Herbs' patented technology delivers a concentrated full spectrum alcohol-free liquid extract in a 100% vegetarian capsule. Extra Strength Liquid Phyto-Caps For Ultimate Support of Restful Sleep 100% Vegetarian A Dietary Supplement Not to be used during pregnancy or lactation. If you have a medical condition or take pharmaceutical drugs, please consult with your doctor Order Gaia Herbs-Valerian Root from iherb Omega 3-6-9 Essential Fatty Acids in Hexane Free Nutritional Oils A balanced blend of two essential polyunsaturated fatty acids (and their derivatives) necessary for many body functions: Omega-3 oil from Flax Seed and Canola, and Omega-6 oil (GLA) from Primrose and Black Currant. Oleic Acid, an Omega-9 oil from Canola and Flax Seed, is a monounsaturated fat not considered "essential" but does play beneficial roles in human health. Order Now Foods - Omega 3-6-9, 1000 mg from iherb Flora, St. John's Wort Extract A Wild-grown Full-Spectrum Extract. Flora's premium St. John's Wort is prepared in the traditional manner using freshly gathered wild-grown St. John's Wort flowers. They are sun-infused in extra-virgin olive oil for 1,000 hours to maximize extraction of the full-spectrum active principles into the oil. Flora's St. John's Wort can help reduce the effects of mild depression, anxiety, and nervous tension caused by daily stress. Order Flora, St. John's Wort Extract from iherb Nature's Bounty, SAM-e The body makes SAM-e from the amino acid methionine. However, you may not be able to obtain sufficient methionine levels simply by ingesting food. In addition, because of age or other factors, levels of SAM-e can fluctuate or decline. Supplementation with SAM-e is the easiest way to increase intake. The enteric coating helps the breakdown of SAM-e occur in the small intestine. In addition, the enteric coating is designed to protect SAM-e from moisture and serve as a protective barrier so that SAM-e can be absorbed where it can provide you with the greatest benefits. Order Nature's Bounty, SAM-e from iherb ORDERING FROM IHERB.COM: Get $5 OFF your first order. They ship all over the world very cheaply, and their products are the cheapest and best in the world. 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The finest black chocolate is not only good for your body, mind and spirit. It can help protect you from degenerative conditions—from cancer and heart disease to Alzheimer’s. Yes, really! But it has to be the right kind of chocolate, and in the right quantity. Next time you’re feeling anxious, reach for a piece of dark, dark chocolate and you can feel good about it. The emerging chocolate story is a fascinating one that is just beginning to break. Casanova claims for Chocolate Casanova claimed chocolate was the perfect tool for seduction. Recent research explains why. Scientists in California recently isolated a substance in chocolate which links into our brain receptor sites and, like cannabis, brings sensations of pleasure and relaxation. This is just one of the ways mysterious chocolate heightens your passion for this seductive food while enhances your health and calming your nerves. Dark Chocolate Eating one an a half ounces dark chocolate a day for two weeks reduces your levels of stress hormones, but it has to be very, very dark chocolate—between 75 and 85% cocoa solids. Some of the health benefits from chocolate are due to the antioxidants present in cocoa itself, such as flavonols. These are a sub-class of flavonoids, and are natural plant chemicals (phytochemicals) found in fruits and vegetables. There are several thousand compounds belonging to the antioxidant-rich polyphenol family, also called phytochemicals, which are very good for us. Avoid Milk Chocolate A study published a couple of years back discovered that between 6 and 7 grams of dark chocolate per day, which is a little less than half a bar a week, is probably an ideal amount for protecting us against inflammation and cardiovascular disease. Any more than this appears to cancel out the benefits. But it must be milk-free. You see there is a huge difference between the minimally processed dark chocolate and the milk chocolate found in most candy bars. Raw, unsweetened cocoa powder which is high in antioxidant flavonols and contains no sugar is very different from the common cocoa drinks that are loaded with sugar. They offer no antioxidant support whatsoever. The total antioxidant content of chocolate products is directly associated with the amount of raw cocoa that the chocolate contains. A published in the ‘Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry’ showed that in terms of healthy antioxidant content, cocoa powder rated first, followed by unsweetened baking chocolate, and black chocolate.Perhaps even more surprisingly, dark unprocessed chocolate has been exonerated in a number of studies as exerting positive effects on your health. One example, believe it or not, is that it improves glucose metabolism. It also improves blood pressure levels and your cardiovascular system. Let me say again: you must choose very dark chocolate and forsake milk chocolate forever if you value your health. Milk chocolate has very few of these antioxidants. This is partly because it’s heavily processed. In fact, the typical commercial chocolate has less than half of the flavonoids remaining after processing. As well as that, milk chocolate contains milk, which tends to cancel out cocoa’s antioxidant effects. This was discovered in a study published in the journal ‘Nature’. The reason this happens is that proteins in the milk bind with the antioxidants, making them less easily absorbed by your body. Another thing about processed chocolate is that it ican be high in sugar, chemical additives and other junk including, believe it or not, lead. Many researchers contend that milk in processed chocolate is also often contaminated by other heavy metals, but no one is quite sure why how this happens. Now, this doesn’t mean that you should be swallowing chocolate every minute or two. The ideal amount of top quality organic dark chocolate that you should eat is very little.A study published a couple of years back discovered that between 6 and 7 grams of dark chocolate per day, which is a little less than half a bar a week, is probably the ideal amount for protecting us against inflammation and cardiovascular disease. Any more than this appears to cancel out the benefits. Sacred Foods This is not surprising because chocolate, like real organic coffee, has throughout history been considered one of the sacred foods and the sacred foods need to be honored. Such foods have powerful energies. We thrive when we take them only in small quantities. This is the only way we can take advantage of all they have to offer us on every level.

A time to be luxuriously lazy and self-indulgent, to enjoy the process of getting rid of all those wastes you really don’t want hanging around in your system making you look and feel low. A two day apple fast designed to be done over a weekend; it’s not even a fast, for you can eat as much as you like – but only apples. For two days all you have to do is to eat apples, and nothing but apples. Your body will do the rest. The reason the apple fast is done over a weekend is that the process of elimination can use up a lot of energy, so it’s a good idea to do it over two days when you are not working. The apple fast was taught to me thirty years ago by Dr Gordon Latto, a British medical doctor who used nothing but food and breathing techniques and a few herbs to heal even the most complex and chronic conditions. Eating as much as you want – but only apples – in place of your regular meals, and in between too if you like, for two days cleans your body, helps clear away food sensitivities, and banishes the ravages of unnatural appetite. A few days on apples once in a while can eliminate retained water, revive flagging energy, make your skin look wonderful and your eyes shine. No pregnant or breast-feeding woman should do an apple fast: neither should anyone with a kidney, liver or heart complaint, for in such cases any sudden change of diet carries with it potential dangers to health. But if you are generally well, a short apple fast is a great way to clear away the cobwebs. Check with your doctor first if you have any doubts. making apple history It was the apple which first led Swiss physician Max Bircher-Benner to develop his system of treatment based on living foods. Bircher-Benner was himself ill with a liver ailment, which made it virtually impossible for him to digest anything. One day, as he lay in his bed unable to rise or eat, his wife slipped a piece of fresh raw apple between his teeth. He tasted it, and to his surprise he found he could tolerate it. Several days – and many raw apples – later he found himself well again. He never forgot the humble apple or what it could do to detoxify the body and to help restore normal functioning to digestion, cells and the circulation. He used apples regularly in his dietary treatments of obesity and other illnesses. In fact, they formed the basis of his Bircher Muesli, which has become world famous. The apple has long been known as a health tonic, medicine, cosmetic and bowel-regulator all wrapped up in one skin. When eaten, it stimulates the secretion of digestive juices. It contains natural substances that help prevent digestive and liver troubles. Where unsweetened apple juice is the traditional drink among country people, there tends to be no incidence of kidney stones. The simple apple is traditionally used for eliminating obesity, as well as being a folk treatment for skin problems, bladder inflammation, anemia, insomnia, intestinal parasites and bad breath. an apple a day The adage ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ is not just an old wives’ tale. The apple is quite rightly known as the queen of fruits. In its natural whole state, it supplies valuable fruit sugar and vitamins in a superb balance to ensure that your body can efficiently digest and use them. The apple is our richest fruit source of vitamin E and also provides a good supply of biotin and folic acid – two B-complex vitamins important in preserving energy, emotional balance and in keeping your digestive system clean and functioning well. It is also a fine source of vitamins A and C, which are both natural antioxidants – powerful anti-agers – not to mention more than a dozen minerals including sulfur, potassium, iodine, silica, magnesium and calcium, and even essential amino acids in small quantities. Apples are low in acidity to help balance stored bodily wastes which tend to be acidic. They stimulate the flow of saliva in the mouth, and clear away debris from the teeth. Eating a raw fresh apple stimulates circulation in the gums too. Finally, apples are rich in a very special form of soluble fiber called pectin which helps to clear out the dangerous heavy metals such as lead and aluminum that we all pick up from our city air, food and water. Heavy metals in your body are something you want to get rid of. These elements, the concentration of which has increased dramatically in our air, foods and water since the Industrial Revolution, can seriously interfere with your body’s metabolic functioning. Mercury tends to suppress the levels of white blood cells in the immune system. Cadmium displaces the essential element zinc needed for a great many of your body’s enzyme systems, and renders them inefficient and even inactive. In the West we now have a concentration of lead in our bodies some 500-1000 times that of our pre-industrial ancestors. High levels of this heavy metal age us prematurely, interfere with our mental processes, suppress immunity and contribute to depression. Aluminum, another heavy metal, detrimentally affects the central nervous system. The presence of all these elements in excessive quantities (and their concentrations in the human body appear to be increasing with each passing decade) generally interferes with your body’s metabolic processes. The ability of apples to remove heavy metals from your system is one of the best reasons for doing an apple fast, particularly if you live in a city. fantastic fiber The fiber that apples contain really is remarkable. In addition to cellulose (the most common kind of fiber, which binds water and increases fecal bulk), the apple is also rich in pectin – a very special kind of fiber with quite exceptional detoxification properties. So different in texture and character is pectin from other forms of fiber that it is sometimes surprising to think that they are classified in the same group. Unlike cellulose, pectin does not bind water, it is water-soluble. It has no influence on fecal bulking, but it appears to be an excellent substance for lowering cholesterol. It may also help eliminate bile acids from the intestines, thus short-circuiting the development of colon cancer and gallstones. It is also useful as a natural chelating (binding) agent which is why it is so good at mopping up unwanted heavy metals, such as aluminum, from the tissues and eliminating them from the body. This can be very important when it comes to detoxification for weight loss. prepare to be clean Getyourself a big bag of the freshest apples you can find – perhaps three or four different kinds for variety. If you don’t like the look of your apples you won’t want to eat them, so be picky. Buy a box of apples if you like, your greengrocer might give you a discount. On this pre-cleanse day it is a good idea to get your system ready. Avoid tea, coffee, alcohol and soft drinks. Steer clear of bread and cooked carbohydrates such as pasta and cereals, and make your last meal of the day a large raw salad made of fresh fruits and vegetables. Don’t have anything else to eat after your salad, except perhaps a cup of herb tea before bed. This will give your body a good 12 hours head-start on the elimination process and it will thank you for it. the apple fast There’s really nothing to it. Over the two days you have chosen, tuck into your apples. Eat as many as you like at any time of the day or night. You must eat the whole apple including the peel, the seeds and the core. Chew well, until the last drop of flavor has been extracted from the fruit. The only part you throw away is the woody stem. Of course, you need to eat your apples raw. You can munch them whole, or grate them and sprinkle a little cinnamon on top. You can even put them in the blender with spring water to make a drink. Eat nothing else during this two-day period, but eat them whenever you are hungry. Do not drink tea or coffee. You may have herb teas such as peppermint, lemon balm or chamomile with a teaspoon of honey if you wish. Drink lots of spring water, but nothing else. Be lazy and luxurious.  During these days indulge yourself doing whatever is pleasurable for you. Many people find their sexuality is heightened during these days. If so, enjoy it. Apples are great to munch in bed. In many ways, the most useful thing about the apple fast is the way you can call on it when you most need help to get you back on the rails again. We all slip up sometimes - we over work or over indulge and live to regret it the next day. A two day apple fast, or even just a day spent eating only apples, is an excellent ‘quick corrector’. Spend even just one day munching apples and it will help set all to rights again, so that when you awaken next morning you feel more like your old self and ready to face the day full of energy. Apple fasting gives you the chance to step back regularly and take a look at your lifestyle, instead of mechanically going on day after day without being aware of where your energy is going. Set aside two days, three or four times a year – a weekend is best – for an apple fast. This will spring clean your body from the inside out. Even apple fasting for one day a week is a great boost to vitality and good looks, because it helps detoxify your body of wastes accumulated as a result of drinking or eating too much, or consuming the wrong kinds of foods. It can also help calm the ravages of an over-enthusiastic appetite, which many people suffer as a result of food sensitivities or over-stimulation of the digestive system. Furthermore, it is an excellent discipline: such a practice helps you break through ingrained habit patterns, which can make us largely unaware of how we are eating.

Valid discoveries in medicine depend on the ability of researchers to make accurate observations in relation to the subject they are studying. As the famous French scientific historian Claude Bernard pointed out more than 150 years ago, “To have an idea about a natural phenomenon, we must first of all, observe it. All human knowledge is limited to working back from observed effects to their cause.” Scientists with preconceived notions assume that they already know the cause and this makes it impossible for them to make valid observations.  They are only able to see what they expect to see. FALSE BELIEFS ARE DANGEROUS This is what has happened to obesity researchers in the past 70 years. They have not diligently searched for and observed what makes us get fat and what to do about it. Instead, virtually all of the research projects that have been carried out since World War II have taken as a given three false notions—all three of which have only contributed to making us fatter and sicker in the Western world: That obesity, heart disease and other degenerative conditions are the result of a high fat diet. That we need to eat lots of carbohydrates to keep up our energy and stay healthy. That weight loss is a simple matter of calories in/calories out—in the words of the Unites States Surgeon General, “overweight and obesity are the result of excess calorie consumption and/or inadequate physical activity.”   These beliefs have continued to prevent us, and the so-called experts, from learning the truth. Happily, this situation is beginning to change, albeit slowly. Such false beliefs still reign supreme amongst most doctors, research scientists, and the media. These mistaken notions (and many more which accompany them) continue to rule scientists, Big Pharma, multinational food corporations and—thanks to television, magazines and newspapers—the great majority of human beings. LIFE-CHANGING FACTS If one takes the time to plough through the voluminous research and declarations about obesity, its cause and its cure, a completely different set of conclusions demand to be drawn: Obesity is a disorder of excess fat accumulation, not overeating or lack of exercise. Obesity is not caused by gluttony or lack of willpower. This disorder is the result of an as yet unidentified disequilibrium in the hormonal regulation of fat metabolism. This is the major issue that must be addressed if we are to find a cure for chronic overweight. Taking in excess calories is not the cause of gaining weight, nor does expending a lot of energy on exercise prevent it. As a result of their effect on insulin and blood sugar, refined carbohydrates, sugars and starches are undeniably the dietary culprits in the development of diabetes, coronary heart disease and obesity, as well as the major contributors to other diseases of Western civilization including cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. Cereal, grain, and sugar-based carbohydrates distort hormonal regulation of homeostasis, fostering obesity as a result of their effect on insulin balance and their ability to bring about insulin resistance syndrome—‘syndrome X’. Because they stimulate insulin secretion, carbohydrates increase hunger and diminish the energy the body expends on metabolism and during exercise. With the exception of chemically distorted oils and fats full of trans-fatty acids, the traditional oils such as olive oil, coconut oil, and butter in no way contribute to obesity. Quite the contrary: They can not only prevent it, but enable the body to shed fat and keep it away permanently by supplying the body with ongoing energy for work, athletics, and play. DAILY OVERLOAD The most signification change to human diets in two million years began with the agricultural revolution, where man went from a carbohydrate-poor to a carbohydrate-rich diet as cereals and quickly digestible starches entered our foods. The more these carbohydrates became refined in the past three hundred years, the more problems they have caused; not only in terms of burgeoning waistlines worldwide, but in the development of chronic degenerative diseases of civilization. Similarly, the overwhelming increase in sugars and fructose—such as those found in so many convenience foods and in the form of high fructose corn syrup—has to be a major contributor on both counts as well. In the eighteenth century, we ate between 10 and 20 pounds of sugar per person per year. Today, we consume between 150 pounds and 200 pounds of sugar a year per capita. How revolting does this sound? Especially when there are so many delicious, nutritious proteins, vegetables and healthy fats out there that we could—and should—be eating, for better health, looks, and the ability to unlock our full potential. The standard dietary advice still goes something like this: “We need to eat a minimum of 120 to 130 grams of carbohydrates a day to remain healthy.” This figure, which most nutritionists still propound as though it were a decree from God, was arrived at since researchers supposed this to be the quantity of glucose that the central nervous system and brain makes use of on a carbohydrate-rich diet. KETONES—NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK Such information is out of date and inaccurate. Even the 2002 Institute of Medicine report Dietary Reference Intakes, which still blindly adheres to the outdated daily recommendation of 120 to 130g of carbohydrates a day, then goes on to acknowledge that the brain can function perfectly well without them. In truth, it often functions far better when carbs and sugars are reduced to a mere 25 to 50g a day. The central nervous system and the brain work great when fueled by ketones. Ketones are substances produced by the liver from fats—those released from one’s own fat stores and from fats and oils that people eat. A moderate, controlled level of ketones in the bloodstream allows the body to function superbly well on minute quantities of carbohydrate foods. This is called a ‘state of nutritional ketosis’. Energy increases, clarity of thought improves, and cravings for foods vanish as one’s body becomes keto-adapted. The transformation can be life-changing. Yet almost nobody in the medical, scientific or media world is bothering to pay much attention to all this. NUTRITIONAL KETOSIS By definition, nutritional ketosis is a benign metabolic state that provides the human body with the flexibility enabling us to handle major shifts in available foods. For many years, a ketogenic program has been considered of great value in the treatment of epilepsy, Alzheimer’s disease, and even successful weight loss. I myself wrote a book about it in 2002 called X FACTOR DIET... For Lasting Weight Loss and Vital Health. Now, suddenly, ketogenic adaptation is being discovered and celebrated by top athletes and fitness experts who find that when the body becomes keto-adapted and is fed on high-fat (60%+), moderate protein (20%+) and very low carbs (primarily taken from green vegetables), the body gets all the energy it needs—and more—from fats. And, unlike relying on carbohydrates or sugars, after a long run or heavy training, the energy in a ketone-adapted body just keeps coming. Of course, the fats one chooses have to be the best—primarily butter from grass-fed beef, organic coconut oil, and extra virgin olive oil. My own experiments on myself and others who are not particularly fitness fanatics is that, after becoming keto-adapted, the body persistently tends to shed unwanted fat deposits. One needs less sleep, skin texture improves, even many chronic aches and pains diminish or disappear completely. It’s early days yet, but the promises of keto-adaptation which I first discovered in the late nineties and then wrote my best-selling book about are beginning to validate themselves. Not only is this fascinating metabolic adaptation changing people’s lives for the better. The latest research appearing from doctors and scientists studying ketone adaptation could dispel all the false beliefs and insane dogma about the causes of obesity and degenerative diseases, replacing them with truths that can transform lives for the better on every level. This is my hope. For more information read: The X-Factor Diet: For Lasting Weight Loss and Vital Health Syndrome X has spawned obesity on a scale never seen before. Also known as insulin resistance syndrome, it predisposes us to high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and early ageing. Cutting-edge research has recently shown that the major culprit is the high-carb/low-fat diet we have been urged to follow. This regime simply does not suit the way our bodies have evolved. Result: it makes many of us fat. Leslie Kenton's scientifically backed The X Factor Diet provides two fat-loss programmes, together with delicious recipes and easy meal plans to restore normal weight naturally, increase energy levels and make you fitter for life. Join her on a journey towards a leaner, healthier and more beautiful body. Order The X-Factor Diet The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Performance by Jeff S Volek and Stephen D Phinney A Revolutionary Program to Extend Your Physical and Mental Performance Envelope. Our recent book 'The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living' was written for health care professionals, championing the benefits of carbohydrate restriction to manage insulin resistance, metabolic syndrome, and type-2 diabetes. Order Low Carbohydrate Performance The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living By Jeff S Volek and Stephen D Phinney Carbohydrate restricted diets are commonly practiced but seldom taught. As a result, doctors, dietitians, nutritionists, and nurses may have strong opinions about low carbohydrate dieting, but in many if not most cases, these views are not grounded in science. Order Low Carbohydrate Living

Time to eat more! More what? More foods that heal. Organically grown plant foods, together with good quality fats and proteins. At last, the focus of nutritional healing is beginning to shift from an obsession with food groups, vitamin pills and much-hyped superfoods—from chia seeds to acai—for which we have been paying through the nose. Who needs them when so many delicious, readily available plants bring us natural healing phytochemical compounds. Their powerful, health-giving actions are well backed up by medical research. Get to know the health benefits of these easily obtainable foods. Make use of them and thrive. CRANBERRIES FOR CLEARING Cranberries are one of those wonderful red/orange/yellow fruits rich in flavonoid antioxidants and high in flavor. Native Americans have used them for centuries as both food and medicine. They have anti-fungal properties. They are anti-viral too. Cranberries, fresh or dried, also help prevent as well as treat many urinary infections such as cystitis. They knock out the Escherichia coli bacteria that glue themselves to the walls of the intestine and the bladder. An as-yet-unidentified phytochemical in cranberries prevents them from sticking. Cranberries also boast a natural antibiotic—hippuric acid. Eating them carries this little gem into the bladder and kidneys. MANGOS FOR DEPRESSION Mangoes have long been known as “food for the gods”. It was Paramahansa Yogananda who wrote in his autobiography, Autobiography of a Yogi, “It is impossible for the Hindu to conceive of heaven without mangoes.” He probably knew nothing about the biochemistry of this sensuous fruit, but he certainly got right its uplifting qualities. Mangoes are rich in anacardic acid— phytochemicals that bear a strong resemblance to drugs used to treat depression. This makes them a great way to start the day— especially if you can get them tree-ripened and organic. ASPARAGUS TREATMENTS Asparagus has long been used in ayurvedic medicine as a remedy against indigestion. Not long ago, researchers compared the therapeutic effect of asparagus with a commonly-used drug in the prevention of nausea and hiatus hernia, heartburn and gastric acid reflux. They found that asparagus was just as effective as the common drug remedy, yet it had no side effects. Asparagus also boasts excellent diuretic properties, too. It stimulates the digestion and is used to alleviate rheumatism and arthritis. A member of the lily family, asparagus was used by the ancient Greeks to treat kidney and liver troubles. It is one of the best natural remedies for PMS-related bloating and is a top source of folic acid, the antioxidant glutathione, and vitamin C. All three are associated with a reduced risk of cancer and a myriad of age-related degenerative conditions. FENNEL FOR PMS As well as containing potassium, fennel (bulb fennel) is full of phytoestrogens. These are the natural plant hormones which help protect from the onslaught of dangerous estrogens in the environment and from the negative effects of estrogen-based drugs, which continue to be doled out far too often to women. As a result, fennel is useful not only in helping to regulate menstruation, but also in calming PMS. It even stimulates the flow of breast milk in nursing mothers. When you buy fennel, look for the fattest stems—they have more flavor and contain more phytohormones. PEPPERS FOR ANTI-AGING Peppers go back at least 7000 years in their many forms: bell peppers, pimentos, cherry peppers, paprika, piquin, Anaheim, jalapeno, chili, cayenne and aji, to name a few. They became part of European fare when Columbus returned from the New World and introduced them to the court. By the mid-seventeenth century they were widely cultivated in Spain and Portugal. All peppers are rich in vitamins C and E and the carotenoids to help protect against degeneration and the damaging effects of toxic chemicals in the environment. The hotter peppers are rich in an alkaloid called capsaicin, which is known to decrease pain, enhance digestion, detoxify the body and protect it from ‘flu and colds. Eat peppers raw as crudités, bake them and add them to stews and soups. Their magnificent color and health-enhancing capacities are a wonder to behold. BASIL FOR SOOTHING Basil has remarkable healing properties. It calms the stomach and brings a calming quality to the whole body. Basil is rich in monoterpenes. These are phytonutrients with powerful antioxidant properties. It also contains lots more plant chemicals, which soothe stomach cramps and quiet upset stomachs, including eugenol—known for its ability to ease muscle spasms. Finally, basil is both antiseptic and mildly sedative. CHILIES FOR PAIN Most people think of chilies think in terms of herbs and spices, not of health. But chilies are a great addition to any health-enhancing diet, even in the smallest doses. One small chili boasts one hundred percent of the daily recommended dose of the antioxidant beta-carotene, as well as nearly two hundred percent of vitamin C. These nutrients help fight free radicals and therefore help protect against heart disease, cancer and early aging. They also strengthen immunity. In addition, chilies contain a plant chemical called capsaicin, which helps prevent cholesterol issues. Throughout history, chilies have been used to relieve pain. Recent research shows capsaicin can temporarily block chemically transmitted pain signals in the body. That’s why you find it in natural ointments useful for relieving arthritis and nerve pain. You’ll even find it in nose sprays for clearing headaches. There is good evidence that capsaicin may also soothe pains of the mind and soul, since it triggers the release of mood enhancing endorphins by the brain. GINGER FOR PMS The spicy, sweet ginger root is one of the greatest of all the natural health supports from the vegetable kingdom. It’s well known for its ability to calm an upset stomach and banish travel sickness. It is also brilliant at alleviating the symptoms of colds and flu by increasing circulation and calming fevers. It even eases PMS and headaches and has heart-protecting properties thanks to its ability to discourage the clumping of blood cells. To prevent or clear nausea you can use half a teaspoon of dried ginger or a tiny piece of fresh ginger. It relives indigestion and flatulence. Ginger stimulates circulation, and is used in natural medicine to counter rheumatism. In a study done in Denmark in 1992, researchers confirmed what ayurvedic practitioners have long known—that ginger relieves the pain of arthritis and rheumatism without side effects. Many scientists studying this amazing root believe that ginger works its wonders in no small part thanks to an ability to block inflammatory tendencies in the body. ROSEMARY FOR SORE MUSCLES Rosemary has a natural ability to soften the skin. When used in a carrier cream and rubbed on the body, its essential oils are a great help in relieving muscular soreness. But what I like best about rosemary is the way it revitalizes the senses through its pungent odor and taste. GREEN LIPS FOR INFLAMMATION With their beautiful blue-green shells, these sea gems—when harvested from unpolluted water—are not only a highly nutritious form of protein. They are rich in vitamins and trace minerals. In addition, green-lipped mussels are a great source of mucopolysaccharides and the free radical scavenging enzyme superoxide dismutase. Extracts of green-lipped muscle have been used successfully to treat inflammatory diseases from rheumatoid arthritis to osteoarthritis to eczema and emphysema. But eating them is even better than using extracts. Recently, they have even taken their place in the growing arsenal of natural cancer treatments. Always eat them cooked. MEET GOOD MEAT The problem with domestic meats is that, in many countries, most of them are laden with hormones, toxins and antibiotics. When you routinely eat non-organic meat, you can end up not only with a high level of uric acid in your body, but a tendency to form a lot of mucus and to build up toxic chemicals in the body, including hormones and antibiotics. This is why I buy only certified organic meat. The difference in flavor is remarkable, and I know that the animals I am eating have been carefully raised and are free of both excess fat and the toxicity that most domestic farm animals carry these days. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY I was a vegetarian for twenty years. I believe that a vegetarian diet is ideal for many people. I discovered in my mid-thirties, however, that vegetarianism was not ideal for me—probably because my ancestors, being Nordic, spent most of their lives living on fish, salted meat and whatever vegetables they could dig up from the frozen tundra. Our genetic make-up determines to a great extent what works for us and what doesn’t. When I added fish and game to my meals, my energy levels soared and I looked and felt better. Each one of us is unique. This not only determines what kind of foods we thrive on, it also determines what kinds of foods are best for us at any particular time of our life. For instance, many women at menopause find they do better by cutting meat out of their diet. Others discover just the opposite—that they need more protein. It’s a question of ‘suck it and see’. Don’t hesitate to shift from eating more vegetables at one time of your life to more fruit at another, and more fish at another. The human body is always changing, as are our needs for various foods. The magnificent variety of organically-grown, healing and health-enhancing foods to choose from makes the process of finding which foods serve you best a sensuous delight.

The most dangerous damage your body ever has to handle is inflammation. When your body becomes inflamed this can trigger serious degenerative illnesses, from early aging and heart disease to diabetes, arthritis, food intolerance, and mental disorders. Inflammation is your body’s natural response to infection, injury, and tissue damage. It comes in two forms: Acute inflammation and chronic/ systemic inflammation, which spreads throughout your body. Acute inflammation is temporary, the purpose of which is to restore good tissue function as soon as possible. Your body creates inflammation as its defense against disturbing homeostasis in an attempt to prevent harm to surrounding tissues. Chronic inflammation, however, can be dangerous. It can turn into a festering fire that creates pain, illness, and disability. This is because your body reacts to chronic inflammation by triggering cellular and molecular distortions to pro-inflammatory immune cells that circulate throughout your body. This can bring damage to healthy areas like the linings of your blood vessels, as in arteriosclerosis, or your joint tissues in arthritis, or gut mucosa and diabetes. It may even act as a precursor to cancer. When it comes to the treatment of long-term illness—such as heart disease—savvy medical doctors now warn that we’ve been misled. It is inflammation in the arteries that is the real cause of arteriosclerosis and heart problems. Cholesterol can never line artery walls and cause heart attacks and strokes unless systemic inflammation is widespread in your body. So prescribing drugs to lower cholesterol and telling people to restrict saturated fats do not protect from heart disease as we’ve been told. In fact, statins, which the majority of cardiologists continue to prescribe for cholesterol, can seriously damage your health. Dwight Lundell, former Chief of Staff and Surgery at Banner Heart Hospital in Arizona, is one of many outspoken physicians in regard to this mistake. As he says, “We physicians with all our training, knowledge and authority, often acquire a rather large ego that tends to make it difficult to admit we are wrong.” He continues, “I freely admit to being wrong. As a heart surgeon with 25 years’ experience, having performed over 5,000 open-heart surgeries, today is my day to right the wrong with medical and scientific fact.” So, what are the causes of chronic inflammation in your body? The most common causes include: Exposure to chemical inhalants and pollutants, and electromagnetic exposure to cell phones, smart meters, and towers. Another is taking long-term courses of powerful drugs, from antibiotics to hormones, anti-depressants, analgesics, and sedatives, as well as drugs like statins and other pharmaceuticals, the remains of which can literally poison your body long term. Want to protect yourself from inflammation? Become aware of your possible exposure to these things and make changes to help protect you from possible causes. In many ways the simplest place of all to begin is by changing the way you eat, since the typical 21st century diet is right at the core of widespread chronic inflammation. Learn which foods are inflammatory in nature and which foods can help protect you from it. Then it’s time to throw out every one of the inflammatory foods that line your cupboard and your refrigerator, and forever change how you may have been eating. Foods that cause inflammation, which you want to avoid at any cost, are all kinds of sugars, regardless of how much they may be promoted as “good for you;” all artificial sweeteners, which are chemically dangerous to your body; and all GMO foods, which can literally be deadly. A large percentage of the population nowadays reacts badly to cow’s milk products—from the milk itself to cow’s yogurt and cheese. Buy goat, sheep or buffalo milk, yogurt, and cheese instead. Another category of foods that can be seriously inflammatory to the body are high-carbohydrate foods—breads, pasta, cakes, and biscuits made from common grains and cereals as well as all the common convenience foods that line our supermarket shelves. These are chock-full of colorants, flavor enhancers, and other chemicals that poison your body. And it goes without saying that you want to avoid all junk foods completely. Certain foods, herbs, spices, and supplements can help reduce inflammation and protect your body from it in the future. Organic dark green vegetables are high on the list: spinach, kale, dandelion greens, collard greens, broccoli, bok choy, beet greens, and asparagus are high on the list of protective vegetables. So are organic berries of all kinds, organic chicken, grass-fed lamb, beef, venison, wild salmon, and green-lipped muscles from New Zealand. Clearing inflammation from your body in whatever form it occurs is likely to be the very best action you can take to help you live a long and healthy life, during which you look and feel your very best at every age.

This was an interview I did for 50 Loving it on Move up to power and freedom. I speak about natural menopause and the powerful journey that a women takes towards her own power and freedom. I also speak about Cura Romana's fast and effective weight loss program and how it has helped participants to move more fully into their body transforming all aspect of their life, helping to discover their true power and personal freedom. Hope you enjoy it... [audio id=http://d1vg7rm5xhtxe9.cloudfront.net/audio/lesliekenton66781-edited.mp3] Move up to power and freedom. Transform your weight, your health, your life. The best is yet to come. Award-winning writer, television broadcaster, and teacher, Leslie Kenton is well known in the English-speaking world for her no-nonsense, in-depth reporting. According to London’s Time Out, “If there is one health expert who can genuinely be described as pioneering and visionary, it is Leslie Kenton.” Leslie conceived and created the worldwide Origins range for Estee Lauder. A former consultant to European Parliament for the Green Party and course developer for Britain’s Open University, Leslie is trained in Chinese medicine, nutrition, and bioenergetics. She was first Chairperson of the Natural Medicine Society in the UK and her contribution to natural health was honored by her being asked to deliver the McCarrison Lecture at the Royal Society of Medicine. Leslie now divides her time between her homes in Primrose Hill, London and South Island New Zealand.

London’s Daily Mail approached me a few weeks ago asking me to write a piece on what it’s like to have 4 children by 4 different men. The idea intrigued me so I did. The piece wasn’t published since, they said, “It’s not written in the Mail style.” This week we sent what I wrote to all lesliekenton.com newsletter subscribers. Since we had an overwhelmingly positive response to this piece, I decided to share it with you as well. (This is the first time we have ever done something like this.) I hope you will also enjoy reading it. It comes as a personal gift from me to you. Struggling to hold back the tears, my daughter’s voice on the crackly phone line was barely a whisper. “Mama, Dan died this morning,” she said. Dan Smith, biological father to my third child, Jesse, was much loved by all of my children. He had been seriously ill with a rare form of leukaemia. We knew he could die any moment. Still, the news that reached me at my Primrose Hill home that cold February morning in 2010 sent shock waves through me. “We’re already organising the funeral,” Susannah went on. “We want to play jazz music, tell fun stories about Dan and celebrate his life. Don’t worry about being 12,000 miles away, we’ll video all of it for you to watch later.” I would love to have been there to celebrate Dan’s life. It had been a good life. He was an honorable man—one who kept his promises. Dan had long adored each of my four children although only one of them was a child of his own body. Four years earlier, Dan had chosen to move to New Zealand to be near the children. Together they had searched for and found a house for him so that all of us—me included—could spend precious time with Dan and care for him so long as he lived. NOT THE MARRYING KIND I had met Dan 53 years earlier when I was seventeen years old. We became friends. Later, in my mid-twenties, we were briefly married. I was never much in favor of marriage, however. That’s probably why I chose to give birth to four children by four different men. Now I’m being called a trailblazer for what is becoming an increasingly popular brand of mothering, commonly referred to as ‘multi-dadding.’ I am supposed to be what is fashionably termed a ‘4x4.’ Mothering children by more than one man recently hit the headlines with the news that actress Kate Winslet is expecting her third child by her third husband, the rock star Ned Rocknroll. Kate, 37, has a 12-year-old daughter, Mia, with her first husband, Jim Threapleton, and a nine-year-old son, Joe, with her second husband, Sam Mendes. The former weather girl Ulrika Jonsson is a 4x4, and the late TV presenter Paula Yates was a 4x2. While supposedly gaining popularity, this style of mothering is still hugely controversial. I am told that the news that a woman has children by more than one man is still met with a mixture of horror and fascination. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I have never had to deal with either of these attitudes. To tell the truth, I have never much cared what people think about me, how I chose to live my life or the way I have raised my children. Perhaps that’s a good thing, or maybe I am just naïve. One thing is for sure: I’ve always been one of those women so fertile that that a man could almost look at me and I’d get pregnant. I would never miscarry. I rode horses, went surfing and danced all night while pregnant and suffered no consequences. I am told that women like me are often looked upon as monstrously selfish, bad mothers. They are accused of being feckless for having multiple lovers and just plain wrong for not providing their children with a ‘traditional family setup.’ I’m sure some traditional families are genuinely wise, stable and happy. The parents love each other and care for their children with great devotion and joy. But, in my experience, such families are few and far between. KIDS MATTER MOST What matters most in child rearing is neither convention nor family labels. It is the children. Children brought up by a devoted single mother (or single father) who lovingly trusts their own parental instincts and forms honest relationships with each child in their care, thrive. I believe this is far better than desperately trying to hold on to a marriage that doesn’t work ‘for the children’s sake.’ What I find sad is the way an ordinary single woman—not a movie star or media giant—who has children by more than one man and has to bring them up by herself, earning a living and juggling the needs not only of her children but also increasingly of their fathers, doesn't get the attention, sympathy, or anywhere near the admiration she deserves. It’s a challenging job for any woman. I know, I’ve done it. I’ve raised four children all on my own, earned the money for our family, stayed up all night caring for them when they had measles, chicken pox or mumps, then got up the next morning to make breakfast and iron that school uniform about which I was told, “Mama...my teacher says it has to be perfect.” Many a time I worried where the money was coming from to pay for food that week. LION-HEARTED MOTHERHOOD I champion any woman making a life for the children she loves in this way. It is the child that matters most and his or her relationship to a mother, father, or a caring friend. Every woman has a powerful lion-hearted passion to care for and protect her children. Women should trust themselves, give thanks for such power and use it for the benefit of their children. Kids are notoriously smart. They know when they are being fed a line about what they are “supposed” to think and say. They easily distinguish between what’s real and what’s contrived. As parents, if we want to gain the respect of our children we must always tell them the truth and treat them with respect as well as demand that they respect us in return. As far as the fathers of our children are concerned, they deserve the same respect and honesty from a woman as the child does, whether or not she is married to them. I believe that each child needs to get to know its father in its own way and make its own judgements. MY OWN STORY I grew up in a wildly unconventional family of highly creative, unstable people. Until I was 5, I was raised by my maternal grandmother. Later I was raped by my father and had my brain fried with ECT in an attempt to make me forget all that had happened to me. I was always a tomboy. I hated dolls. I loved to climb trees and play football. Yet from 5 years old I was sure that I wanted to have children. When I told my grandmother my plan she said I would need to get married to have children. “What’s married?” I asked. “It’s when you wear a white dress and have a big beautiful cake and promise to love and obey a man,” she said. “Ugh, I’ll never do that,” I replied. “I hate cake.” In any case, I knew she was lying to me since none of our Siamese cats were married, but they gave birth to masses of kittens. At the age of 17, while in my Freshman year at Stanford University, I got pregnant by a 22 year old man named Peter Dau. I rang my father. “I’m pregnant,” I told him. “What are you going to do?” “Give birth and keep the baby.” “You can’t keep the baby unless you get married,” he said. Had I been a little more gutsy I would have told him to get stuffed. But at the age of 17, still wrestling with all that had happened to me in my own childhood, he wielded a lot of influence over me. So I agreed. Peter was all for the idea. Single-handedly I put together an all-white wedding for 250 people in the garden of our Beverley Hills home. I made the decision to wear black shoes under my white satin dress. I felt I was giving my life away by marrying Peter, but I was willing to make the sacrifice since I so wanted this child. As soon as Dan learned of the wedding, he sent me a beautiful sterling silver bowl as a present which I still have. My first son, Branton, was born six months later. When I held this tiny baby in my arms he taught me the most important lesson I ever learned: Love exists. It is simple, real and has nothing to do with highfalutin notions or flowery words. At the age of 18, I realized my life had found its purpose—to love and be loved. PREGNANT AGAIN A year later, Peter and I left California for New York where he was to attend medical school while I went to work as a model to help support us. At that time, Dan left his job as a journalist in Massachusetts and moved to New York to be near us. My marriage to Peter ended amicably three years later. It should never have happened in the first place. Three days after leaving Peter back in California, I stopped overnight at my father’s house in Beverley Hills on my way back to New York. Barry Comden, a man much older than I whom I had known since I was 14 but never had a sexual relationship with, discovered I was in town and came to see me. I made love to him once and knew immediately that I was pregnant again. Marry Barry? No way. I was determined not to make the same mistake twice. (Years later Barry would marry the actress Doris Day.) Nine months later my only daughter, Susannah, was born. It was then that a large tumor growing off of my right ovary was discovered. It had been hidden behind the baby during my pregnancy. It was dangerous and had to be surgically removed. HELP WHEN IT MATTERS Once again Dan appeared in my life. He had always insisted that he fell in love with me from the first day we met. He had written me letters every single day my first year at Stanford. I never answered any of them. I didn’t share his love and I didn’t want to lead him on. He had also sent me book after book which he thought I should read. I read them all and loved them. Dan had always been kind and generous to me. He was always keen to protect and care for me when I needed it. So, when I ended up penniless and alone with two children and in need of major surgery, he offered me a home. I accepted. For several months the four of us lived together in New York. Dan adored Branton and Susannah and treated them as if they were his own. I was longing to leave the United States. I wanted to live in Paris—a city I loved more than any other. Dan was able to arrange a job for himself there as a foreign correspondent. In early 1964 we went. Dan had repeatedly told me that he was sure we were meant to be together forever. I hoped that he was right and believed that if I tried hard enough to be a good wife I would learn to love him as he deserved. On July 29, 1964, we were married in Paris. Like every other man I have ever been close to, Dan knew long before we were married that my children would always come first. I had sat him down and told him that he would have to treat Susannah and Branton exactly the same as he would treat any child of his who might come along. He agreed. On June 12, 1965, Dan’s son Jesse was born. He was delighted. True to his word, never once did he favor Jesse over Branton and Susannah. This was great for all three children who came to know him well and to adore him. When presents were passed out, each child was equally favored. Dan belonged to all of them and they knew it. FATHERS, FATHERS Because Branton’s father lived in America and we lived in Europe, Branton did not see him again until he was 11. By that age I figured he was old enough to make the trip on his own and spend a week or two with Peter. Susannah was not really interested in her father—also in the United States—until she was about 17. She then went to Los Angeles to meet him. A good friendship developed between them which remained until Barry died. A non-traditional, unconventional family? Absolutely, but it worked because there was honesty and there was love—the two most important things in any family, anytime, anywhere. For five years I had told myself that, if only I could learn to love Dan more, then everything would be all right. But I couldn’t. And it wasn’t. Confused and disappointed, at the age of 27, I faced the fact that our marriage had failed. We moved to England and we separated. It was Easter. I went to a Buddhist monastery in Scotland to clear my head. Of course Dan grieved over the failure. But that never stopped him from being a welcome person in our family right up to his death. Years later he would marry Gerda Boyeson, a psychotherapist who died a few years before he did. BLESSED MEN The men who made my life rich after Dan and I divorced were, each in their own way, as special as he had been. Each accepted that my children came before all else in the world to me. I never compromised. I chose men, be they friends or lovers, who brought wonderful things to my children. No man ever came before my children. If any man didn’t understand and accept this, he had to go. One man whom I loved, Graham, taught my children to climb and sail and mountaineer. All my children forged deep bonds with Graham which have remained to this day. Another man, Garth, gave Branton, Susannah and Jesse his much cherished toy collection from his own childhood. Garth took us all on wonderful picnics, introduced us to hidden beaches, sang songs with us and blessed us with his unique brand of joy. Then there was David, a man with whom I lived with for 5 years in my late twenties. David constructed beautiful rooms for each of my children in the tiny house I had bought with the little money that my grandfather had left me, when Dan and I separated. David wrote and recorded songs for each of my children. That was 40 years ago. Last year, Susannah and her partner visited David and his wife in Barcelona where he now lives. AN UNCONVENTIONAL MOTHER Ironically, the only complaint I ever got from any of my children about my not being conventional enough was from Dan’s son Jesse. “Why aren’t you like other mothers?” Jesse asked one day when he was 7. “I don’t know, Jesse, what are other mothers like?” “Oh you know,” he said, “They’re fat and bake cookies.” Jesse even grumbled if, while I was waiting to pick him up from school, I sat on the playground swings. He was adamant that such behavior was not “proper” for his mother. Sixteen years after Jesse was born, I became pregnant for the last time by yet another special man—Paul. I announced my condition to 17 year old Susannah as we were all setting off for a six week holiday in Canada with Graham and his son Ruan. “I’m going to have a baby,” I told her. “Don’t worry Mama,” she laughed, “We’ll say it is mine!” FAMILY CELEBRATION In March of 1981, I gave birth to my fourth child, Aaron, at our home in Pembrokeshire. All three of my other children helped deliver him. While I was in labor, they prepared the most delicious lunch I have ever tasted from fruits and vegetables from the garden. I had insisted on giving birth naturally at home, not in some clinical, cold hospital. Jesse had been born via natural childbirth, at a clinique d’accouchement in Paris. After the experience of natural childbirth I swore if ever I had another child it would have to be this way. As for Dan, one way or another he was always close by. He knew David, Graham, Garth and every other man who was to play a role in my own life and my children’s lives. For many years he spent Christmases with us and with our other male friends when they were there. Dan loved to play saxophone at family gatherings. One year he dressed up as Santa Claus. Aaron, then 5 years old, was completely taken in by the costume and terrified when this rotund man belted out, “Ho, Ho, Ho, little boy, what do you want for Christmas?” It took a lot of reassurance from Aaron’s big brothers and sister to convince him that Santa was really ‘good old Dan.’ UNIQUE & INDEPENDENT As for my children, each of them is totally unique and highly independent. I have always fought hard to encourage them to trust themselves and listen to their own heart instead of doing or saying what the rest of the world tells kids they are supposed to do and say. After graduating with a first class degree from Lancaster University, Branton, now 53, developed a series of successful businesses. Susannah, 50, with whom I have written 5 books and done two television series, is a sought-after voice artist. Jesse, 48, is a highly skilled plastic surgeon. Jesse and I have also written a book together. Aaron, now 32, is a designer and filmmaker. He and I have worked together for the past four years developing Cura Romana—a spiritually based program for health, lasting weight loss and spiritual transformation. Branton and Jesse have been happily married for many years. Both have three children each. As for me, I am probably the world’s worst grandmother. I don't babysit, or do any of the things grandmothers are ‘supposed’ to do. (Including baking those cookies Jesse once complained about.) Why? I’m not sure. I guess because for forty-five years of my life I was a mother. I loved this more than all the books I’ve written, all the television programs I’ve devised and presented, all the workshops I’ve taught, and all the other things I’ve done and enjoyed. Right now, my life belongs to me alone. I love the freedom this brings me. I am passionate about being a catalyst in people’s lives, helping them realize their own magnificence and live out their potentials both for their own benefit and for the benefit of all. Who knows what exciting challenges lie before me. Bring them on!