mindfulness

I once spent the night lying on a platform above an animal watering hole staring into the vastness of space beholding the great, fathomless mystery of the African sky. Aaron, my youngest son, then three years old, lay curled up next to me like a kitten lost in his dreams. Dazzled by the inconceivable expanse of the sky whose darkness was so overcome with the light from billions of stars that lived in it, I lost myself in timelessness and infinity. That night I came not to think or to wonder but to know with absolute certainty in every cell and molecule of my body that this cosmic world was not something separate from myself, nor I from it. We were, in a way I will never be able to understand rationally, one being. It was one of the greatest moments of my life SEA OF UNKNOWING Like the proverbial iceberg, most of us live with the lion’s share of our potential for freedom, joy, creativity and authentic power submerged beneath a sea of unknowing. We go about our day-to-day duties and pleasures conscious only of what comes to us through our five senses. How does it taste and feel? What does it sound like? What do we see in front of our eyes? Meanwhile, beneath the vast ocean of consciousness that constitutes what it is to be fully human, our greater selves hibernate waiting to be awakened. Sometimes, when we fall in love perhaps, or when we are faced with an event of life-shattering proportions like a critical illness or the death of a close friend, a submerged area of our being erupts in magic or horror and often in surges of passion, energy and beauty. Then, for a time, the mundane quality of everyday life is replaced with a sense of expanded being. Not only do we feel more alive, we wake up to find that familiar things—the tree that stands outside a bedroom window, the cat that greets us when we come home each day, a simple shell we picked up and slipped into our pocket while walking on the beach—have taken on a luminosity which we can’t explain. AS ABOVE SO BELOW Other times, without warning while listening to music or walking down a city street, we are suddenly gripped with a sense that the world is far greater than we ever imagined it to be, and a certainty that all we see around us somehow is us. While the experience lasts everything seems right in the world. Then, like the sun at the point of setting, everything fades beneath the mundane horizon leaving only the faintest wisp of color to remind us that we once stood in its glory, felt it’s rays on our bodies and knew that being at one with the universe brings a sense of meaning to our own life and to the lives of others that is simply indescribably. The greatest desire I have is to live my life conscious of the oneness to which we all belong. After all, the magnificence of that African sky not only stretches out to infinity above us, it lies within us calling to us—asking us to discover that it is who we are.

I have long been fascinated by numinous realms which we humans can enter for power, joy and to discover the nature of our unique essential being and let it guide our lives. For thousands of years, artists, mystics, and shamans have known the secrets of expanding consciousness to access spiritual wisdom, creativity, and bliss. These people—which have belonged to a relatively small group in cultures throughout history—knew how to access realms of wisdom and awareness which all of us can learn to move into and out of at will if we so desire. We can all learn to do this by activating what I call the consciousness matrix. This is the interface encoded within our energy fields, our cells and our DNA, which enables us human beings to tap into vast realms of spiritual power and authentic freedom, then allow these gifts to enrich our lives. Developing the skills to do this brings not just the idea but the actual experience of being ONE with all living things including the universe itself. In fact, the ability to do this is our birthright. Learning how to go about it gives you access to genuine spiritual experience. It also connects you to the unique soul energy within, enabling bridges to be built between the core of your being and your day to day life. Finally, this allows you to access your own unique view of reality. It teaches us how to trust ourselves, and introduces us to the exhilaration that comes with living life from the core of our being. ADVENTURE BEGINS All freedom comes from within. Live free and you feel fully alive. It is like taking a deep, spontaneous breath. It is like laughter. Freedom is also full of surprises. There is a boldness to it. You dare to say what you think and feel, yet are not afraid to listen to the words and hearts of others who think differently. So many of us get caught up in a need to conform to the ideal that has been projected onto us by society, our families, our education, or our religion. We long to be free, but do not know what this really means or how to find real freedom within ourselves. We often look upon power as something external to us, so we don’t learn how to trust our own values and spiritual experiences. We become liberated from having to conform to other people’s rules or the slavery of imprisoning ideologies. It even helps us to transmute the life-draining powers of addiction and crippling influences of unconsciously-held negative feelings and traumas which strangle the fulfillment of our dreams into usable energy. The freer we get, the more self-determining our life becomes, and the more exciting. Gone are the days of out-of-control stress and following the latest fad diet or exercise craze. You begin to sense what is right for you and follow your instinct. When huge challenges do arise, instead of appearing to be crushing forces, you can turn them into worthy opponents. You learn that wrestling with them helps you break through to an even wider experience of liberation. To do this we become not only able to live gracefully as five-sensory beings in a three dimensional world. We learn to move at will into multi-sensory and multi-dimensional reality. Then we can draw on the creative and healing power we find there allowing it to infuse our day to day lives with a clearer sense of direction and meaning. TECHNOLOGIES FOR LIBERATION Developing the skills for tapping into the consciousness matrix could not be more important at this moment in history. As we do, we are able to enjoy the highest levels of creativity, discover our own unique values, and access deep levels of truth within so we come to live our life to the full. Then we become able to work with others in ways that honors all life. In the past thirty years, I have studied, taught and worked with methods for expanding consciousness for healing, creativity, and authentic freedom. My goal has been to create programs which draw on the most ancient methods for accessing realms of expanded consciousness, then to marry them with leading-edge physics, biology, systems theory and the rapidly developing science of consciousness itself. I have been determined to discover technologies for liberation which are simple, well tested, practical and which, once you begin to work with them, can be used like a ladder can be for getting us to the second floor of a building and then be thrown away. I was never interested in creating some new system, or psychology or philosophy. I wanted to make something that would help people discover their own inner truth, spiritual perceptions and pathways as the ultimate authorities and then learn to trust themselves. My work with Journey to Freedom and my deep connections with shamanism—which I have studied, worked with and taught for a quarter of a century now, has always been focused on helping myself and others expand our awareness so we can draw on energy from the deepest levels of our being and learn to listen to the whispers of our souls. As we come to do this—slowly but steadily—we discover what real freedom feels like. The membranes of fear or self-condemnation, which surround us, become thinner and thinner so that our real values and desires from the depths of our being can be gradually set free to become the living realities which guide our lives. LISTEN TO THE WHISPERS It is only by listening to what I call the “whispers of your soul” that you learn to explore the consciousness matrix. They will help you discover the magnificence of your own being so you come to experience your oneness with all life. I’d like to share with you a simple, fun and powerful little exercise that I and countless others have used for years. The more frequently you practice it, the clearer do the whispers of your soul become. Practice this simple, pleasant little technique once a day for two weeks and you will sense that a bridge has begun to be built between the deepest levels of your being and your outer life. You discover your own place of silence and natural beauty—a sanctuary into which you can enter and return, no matter where you are or in what circumstances you find yourself. It is here that you can create the space which allows your soul to speak to you from the greatest depths. ENTER YOUR SANCTUARY Turn off your cell phone or take the landline phone off the hook so you won’t be disturbed for the next ten minutes. Sit on a straight-backed chair, or on the floor if you prefer. Take three or four deep breaths through your nose, letting the air escape gently through your mouth on the out breath. Close your eyes. Let your imagination run free. Allow your mind go back to some place in nature which you have seen and especially like. This is a place in ordinary reality, not somewhere from a dream or a story. It may be a place familiar to you, say at the end of your garden. Or it can be somewhere you have visited only once. When you’ve found the place you like, sit for a moment quietly remembering as much about it as you can. Now see what happens when you activate your senses. Just let yourself be right here and right now. What do you see, smell, hear, how does the air feel, how does the earth feel under your body? Do you sense the presence of any supporting energies or helpful beings here with you? If so, listen to what they are offering. Ask your soul to speak to you. These things may surprise you. Now, ask for whatever you think you need in your life right now. Then sit in silence in your wonderful sacred space and without judgment, pay attention to what you sense, hear, and feel. When you are ready, give thanks for whatever friendship or beauty you find around you and say goodbye for the moment to your inner sanctuary, knowing that you can return to it whenever you like. The more often you do, the richer the experience becomes, and the more clearly can you come to hear the whispers. Now, very gently, in your own time, open your eyes and come back into the room. BRIDGES ILLUMINATE This is important if you are to make good use of what you have experienced. Use a notebook to record what you have found— where you went, what you saw, felt, tasted, sensed. Who, if anyone, was there? What happened there? Did you get any answers to your questions? Record both the positive and the negative without judgment. Just let the words flow. Remember, this is not an essay for school. There is no right or wrong way of doing this. I suggest that you practice this exercise for ten or fifteen minutes each day. Then, at the end of two weeks, come back to your notebook and read what you have written. You may discover certain themes that have come up time and again. Sometimes they are things that you would benefit by addressing but have been putting off. Or you may discover something that you have always wanted to do or be but have never dared contemplate acting on. Such are the whispers from your soul. The more you listen to them, the more you will be able to move into the vast consciousness matrix and connect with the oneness of all life with all the possibilities it offers you. The more you connect with the depths of your essential core, discover your own truths and live them, the richer your life will become, no matter what your current circumstances may be.

Complex life processes remain unexplainable within the confines of conventional science. As a result, they have a long history of being ignored, misinterpreted–even viciously attacked by the self-promoting “Richard Dawkinses” of the world. After all, it’s easier for the so-called experts to bury their heads in the sand and ignore vital cutting-edge research than to challenge themselves to learn something new. You see, the energetics of the ways in which life breaks the rules are central to an understanding of the body’s marvelous ability to heal itself and slow down degenerative changes. The body’s natural capacity to recreate order makes mincemeat of the outdated second law of thermodynamics as applied to living systems. No wonder this truth makes so many conventional scientists squirm. Here’s why: Within the paradigms of Newtonian physics, this second law has been shown not to apply to a living body. (Click here to read more about this law) For genuinely life-changing guidance on health and healing, we need to learn about the body’s energy fields, and to find out what we can do to enhance the order and vitality within and around our own bodies. This is easier than you think once you learn how. CUTTING EDGE TRUTHS In the 1960s, a Polish priest and biophysicist, Wlodzimierz Sedlac, brilliantly described biological structures in energetic ways. So powerful were Sedlac’s findings that they helped trigger an energy revolution which one day will topple the limited chemical and mechanical paradigms that are still used to define human health. Father of Polish bioelectronics and of the electromagnetic theory of life, Sedlac described our cells as diode resonators. He showed that mitochondria within our cells act as intracellular interferometers and inductance emission coils. As for our cell membranes, these behave like photon resonators communicating through light emissions. Then, in 1974, brilliant German biophysicist Fritz-Albert Popp found out that, when stimulated by a laser emission from the mitochondria, our DNA emits ultraviolet light. In fact, the body’s main communication system appears to be a complex network of light, resonance and frequency. Our cells give off light energy—biophotons. These emanations are strongest when cells are either dividing or dying in order for new cells to be born. It’s the coherence between biophoton emissions and electromagnetic communication that gives cells their ability to vibrate at frequencies that support health. Because our cells behave much like radio transmitters, this makes it possible for them to communicate within the superconductive semi-solid plasma of the body's liquid crystal matrix—the mesenchyme. LET THERE BE LIGHT For more than 150 years, European doctors and scientists trained in natural medicine have insisted that the mesenchyme is the seedbed of health and youth. They tell us to look after the state of the mesenchyme—the body's biological terrain—and, thanks to the constant exchange of coherent light and energy that takes place, our health looks after itself. Increasingly, researchers in mathematics, biophysics and wave mechanics have begun to describe the nature of all biological systems as kinetic, electrical, magnetic, light responsive entities—all of which fit into the cohesive field theory at the cutting-edge of advanced biophysics. Many of the reasons for health problems, which from the point of view of mainstream medicine continue to be diagnosed as “chemical” in nature and treated symptomatically with pharmaceuticals, have far more to do with energetic imbalances and the loss of biological coherence. They develop from poor lifestyle choices we inadvertently make. The wrong foods, excess stress, alcohol and drug taking for instance trigger incoherent biophoton energy exchanges in cells and DNA undermining the health of the whole body. NEW APPROACHES TO ANTI-AGING These new energetic paradigms have important implications when it comes to controlling the rate at which our bodies age. They make it clear that slowing down the aging process requires more than swallowing mega-doses of vitamins, minerals and nutraceuticals to support our antioxidant and immune systems. It is necessary to approach the whole question of food not only from the point of view of energy (calories) and materials (specific proteins, vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, etc) but energetically. And they are stimulating researchers to explore how nutrition for age-retardation is dependent on the complexity of the way all of this energy and material is woven together by nature itself. For going on 50 years, I have recommended eating a diet which consists of 50-75% fresh, live, raw foods. Why? Because naturally grown, fresh raw vegetables and fruits are themselves rich in light energy. The more light a food holds—the higher its biophoton capacity—the greater its ability to communicate health-enhancing light energy to the human body. ENERGETIC TRANSFERS FOR HEALTH The right kind of food is not the only carrier of energetic information needed to support health and slow aging. We are also dramatically influences by the quality of electromagnetic stimulation to the nervous system: environmental conditions, the water we can drink, and the air we can breathe. All of these things are forms of energy transfer. Even body movement is energetic. They act as powerful stimuli to an organism. In terms of aging, their effects will be either good or bad, depending upon the quality of the energy they transmit to us. We need to make use of everything possible to ensure they are beneficial to us. This is something which the long tradition of healing through natural medicine has been urging us to do for generations. Applying good quality energetic stimuli enhances bodily responses and increases vitality—from water therapy to infra-red saunas, and magnesium chloride baths to simple, regular exercise. The quality of light and energetic information that reaches us from our environment is vital to our wellbeing. If it is not the right kind of information—if the air you breathe is not rich in negative ion particles, for instance—this can seriously undermine our sense of harmonious well-being. If your environment is full of industrial pollutants, cell phone towers, negative electromagnetic frequencies from microwave ovens, computers, and smart meters, then your health, mental and emotional wellbeing can become seriously depleted. Such destructive energetic frequencies are inimical to human life. And, never before in history have human beings been subjected to such an overwhelming array of them. Now, more than ever before do we need to take whatever action we can to protect ourselves from the damaging effects of this kind of energetic information which our bodies are being forced to handle. The energetic order necessary to sustain health and support our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing in our world of increasing chaos is not easy to come by. ENERGIES OF CONSCIOUSNESS Mechanistic science and mainstream medicine also continue to ignore the energetic and light-transmitting power that our consciousness exerts on health. Although consciousness is not something you can hold in your hand or draw a picture of, it exerts enormous influence both in preventing and treating illness, slowing aging. It is even capable of altering material reality. This is far from an empty statement. Hundreds of researchers throughout the world have carried out skillfully designed multidisciplinary, multicultural research as part of what is often called The Human Consciousness Project. Their intention has been to map the spectrum of human awareness, including those areas of consciousness that are generally categorized as either the unconscious or states of expanded consciousness. The efforts of scientists and doctors involved in consciousness research have begun to converge and produce a surprisingly coherent picture which indicates that expanded states of awareness—often referred to as transpersonal states—can not only enhance health and heal serious illness. They foster creativity and deepen our connection with multi-dimensional spiritual revelation. In transpersonal states, we have the potential to experience ourselves as part of the divine creative principle itself. Amazing as it sounds, each one of us is not only a small part of the vast Universe. In a very real sense, we are the the Universe. Within us resides the entire field of creation. YOU CAN BREAK THE MOULD Yet despite all this, most people continue to follow the values of our society. We go on absorbing what we’re fed through the media, outdated science and education—even though such information may be inaccurate and limited. We go on buying what we are told to buy, and eating what we are told to eat. Meanwhile, from somewhere deep inside, we sense that we are being limited by all this. We perceive ourselves as largely devoid of being able to be guided by personal choice. When things get really bad, some of us even come to feel that we have been living in a wasteland—a mechanical world devoid of meaning. And so we come to experience ourselves as separated from our own authentic power. The longing for freedom—our birthright which allows each of us simply to be what are—requires that we eat healthy foods and make use of the beneficial energetic fields, while protecting ourselves as much as possible from destructive energies on every level. It beckons us to reconnect with our deeper instinct. Instinct is the voice of awareness and expanded conscious, asking that we come home to ourselves. This we can do without drugs, without gurus, without becoming a disciple, or having to belong to any privileged group. We can do it regardless of our age, physical condition or religious beliefs. Freedom gradually becomes part of our day-to-day experience when we decide to: Become an explorer of the multi-dimensional universe in which we live. Come to recognize, honor and respect the beauty of your individual soul and to allow its authentic expression in your day-to-day life. Let your worldview gradually expand until it gets large enough to encompass the whole of reality. Decide to let go of the restrictions imposed on us all from childhood, religion, education, mainstream media and the powers-that-be. Develop a deep and abiding friendship with the inhabitants of the multi-dimensional universe in which we make our homes—from the moles and the stars, the grass and the trees, the rocks and the quasars, to the helpful light and electrical energetics that guide, bless and inform us, the muses who inspire us, angels who shine for us—even the maggots who eat away decaying matter so that new life may come forth from old. Begin to build powerful bridges between your rich inner world of consciousness and your day to day existence. Commit yourselves to bringing your own unique creations into being, for yourself and for the benefit of all life. Who you are is unique. There is no one else like you in the world. Live your truth and share your visions and gifts with all of life.

I’d like to share with you a life-changing story. Here’s how it begins: “Follow your bliss,” the gypsy said. “Connect with your inner light. Hear the sounds of birds. Taste the ocean’s spray. Listen to the whispers of your soul. Bliss is your key to freedom. Have you forgotten?” The gypsy’s words echoed in my heart. Like most women, I had never followed my bliss. I’d tried my best to do the “right thing”. I’d listened to the voices of others and valued their opinions above my own. And I am not alone in this. Too often, we women have gone on and off diets, lost weight, gained weight, made money, spent money, found lovers, lost lovers, done assertiveness workshops and quit doing them. Every so often, we figure we’ve found an answer to something. Then it melts away from us like a forgotten dream. The gypsy woman on the road was old and wrinkled. Yet her eyes shone with a light so bright you could hardly bear to look at them. What the hell, the woman thought, let’s find out what this old lady has to say. What have we got to lose? That was the day this woman let bliss into her life. That was the beginning of a journey that transformed her body and illuminated her life. You know, most of us waste a lot of time and energy doing what we think we’re supposed to be doing. This takes us far away from connecting with our souls and experiencing bliss. I believe it’s time for each one of us to discover what we love and then follow it. When Carl Jung was searching for meaning in his own life, he asked himself a simple question. “What did I most love doing as a child?” He remembered he adored making little streets and houses out of stones and blocks. So he bought some land at the side of the lake in Zurich, and began to build a house with a tower. There was no rational sense behind his decision. After all, he already owned a fine house. But what he created for himself, by choosing to do this, was a unique, sacred space in which he could both come in touch with the core of his being, and begin to live out his deepest longings. By honoring the whispers of his soul in this way, Jung not only expanded his capacity for bliss. He set the stage for the finest writings he would ever produce during his lifetime, and he embarked on a road to fulfillment he had never imagined to be possible. Long before you were born, you were wired for bliss. You still are. Its oceanic quality brings an experience of oneness and harmony both with the essence of who you are as well as with the world around you. You probably first experienced it when you were floating in the womb: Relaxation, aliveness, security and the sense that your life has purpose and all is right with the world. If you want to live in the fullness of your being and connect with your creativity, vitality, radiance and beauty, now’s the time to invite more bliss into your life. Our capacity for bliss, as well as our need to experience it, is inscribed on the primitive brain—almost as deeply as our need for air, water and food. Bliss happens to be the medium through which mind, spirit and emotions weave a tapestry of meaning. Bliss renews. Bliss cleanses. It makes us feel whole, solid, stable and alive. When we encounter something new, bliss tells us “This is something I want to try.” Then it brings us the courage to go for it. In ancient India, they had a name for it—Satchitananda. This composite Sanskrit word is made up of three roots: Sat means being or existence. Chit translates as awareness or consciousness. Ananda means bliss. Together they describe a radiant, boundless state of being that carries a sense of infinite awareness and joy. Satchitananda brings the capacity to create worlds and forms out of itself. There was a time when such experience was reserved for saints and shamans. No longer. Sometimes we steel ourselves against bliss out of guilt or misguided self-denial. Then we become as mechanical as a sharp-nosed spinster—nitpicking and critical of everything and everyone, most of all of ourselves. Is bliss the be-all and end-all of life? Nope. Is it an essential ingredient in realizing your potentials on every level? You bet. So important is bliss to discovering who you really are, and bringing your most cherished goals into form, that when we deny our need for it, or forget how to experience it, we’re forced to look for artificial substitutes. Addictions arise: to food, drugs, alcohol, sex—even ambition. But these addictions disempower us, taking us further and further from the authentic freedom and satisfaction that is our birthright. All life is lived through your senses. The more awake they are, the more you’ll get out of the multidimensional pleasures of every moment: the aroma of freshly made coffee, the touch of silk against your skin, soulful fingers on guitar strings, waves of orgasm that swell your body and silence your mind. I believe it’s time, just like the gypsy said, to leave behind guilt and self-criticism and begin to live from moment to moment just as you are. The secret to using bliss to enrich your life lies in becoming fully aware of everything you feel, touch, taste, smell, hear and see. Play a little game with me, right here, right now. Ask yourself these questions: What is the moving power behind my life today? What matters most to me? What did I love most when I was a child? How can I begin to live what I love most right now? Explore these questions in an ongoing way. When you go for a walk, lie in a warm bath, or wake up in the night—let yourself feel bliss wherever you are. It’s the perfect antidote to the meaninglessness we feel when we have been following the wrong directives. It’s time to uncover your bliss and discover the marvelous inner freedom that comes with it.

I smile when the word “retreat” comes up and people get all “starry eyed” and “new age” about the idea. In my experience, a retreat—an enormously valuable event in one’s life which needs periodically to be repeated—has little to do with sitting beneath jasmine scented trees, communing peacefully with God. I have done many retreats of different lengths and kinds, including one in a Tibetan monastery, in which I spent some six weeks learning more about fleas than I would ever want to know. I believe each retreat is meant to be an experience of profound inner transformation, carried out with both feet planted firmly on the ground. PLUMBING THE DEPTHS Like any experience of real change, it asks that we plumb the depths of our being to come closer to what is real, as well as to access creativity, power, and energy we may never have touched before. In many ways, the process is like that of detoxifying your body by shifting from a low-carbohydrate diet to a way of eating that brings clarity to the mind and strength to the body. Retreats often bring to the surface a lot of the toxic “junk” from emotional damage and wrong thinking that all of us carry on a psychological and mental level, so it can be cleared. This is not always a comfortable process. DISCOVERING YOUR POTENTIALS Like the proverbial iceberg, most of us live with the lion’s share of our potential for freedom, joy, creativity, and power submerged beneath a sea of unknowing. We go about our day-to-day duties and pleasures, conscious only of what comes to us through our five senses. How does it taste and feel? What does it sound like? What do we see in front of our eyes? And most of the time—because of the stress that we live under in our urban lives —we are not even fully aware of our senses. Meanwhile, beneath the vast ocean of consciousness that constitutes what it is to be fully human, our greater selves hibernate, waiting to be awakened. It is this awakening that a retreat can help bring about. For like exceptional events in our lives which break through comfort zones—when we fall in love perhaps, or when we’re faced with an event of life-shattering proportions like a critical illness or the death of a close friend—a retreat in silence and solitude can cause submerged areas of our being to erupt in magic, in surges of passion, in vitality, in anxiety, in stunning beauty. EXPANDED AWARENESS For a time, the mundane quality of everyday life is replaced with a sense of expanded being. We not only feel more alive; we wake up to find that familiar things—the tree that stands outside the bedroom window, the cat that greets us when we come home each day, the simple shell we picked up and slipped into our pocket while walking on the beach—has taken on a luminosity we cannot explain. On retreat sometimes, without warning, while listening to music or walking down a street, we can be hit with a feeling that the world is far greater than we ever imagined it to be, or a sense that all we see around us somehow is us. We are all part of the same stuff. While the experience lasts, everything seems right in the world. Then, as our retreat ends, like the sun at the point of setting, it can all fade beneath the mundane horizon—leaving only the faintest wisp of colour to remind us that we once stood in glory, felt the rays of the sun upon our bodies, and knew that sense of being at one with the universe which gives every struggle meaning. A retreat, whether or not it is simply 2 hours set aside a week for you to do something that you absolutely love doing so that you are following your passion; whether you go into a monastery or a retreat centre for a long weekend; or into the wilderness on a vision quest, helps connect us with what is real, and remind us of who we really are. In the silence, when we are removed from the day-to-day structures of our lives which both support us and imprison us, we can begin to plunge the depths of our being and make a better connection with our inner visions, longings, passions, and creative power. DETOX FOR THE SOUL One of the most important gifts of a retreat is to help make us aware that the life we are living may not be entirely our own, or that it is not as authentic as we would like it to be, or that we are not getting as much out of our lives as we feel we should be. Such discoveries are never easy. Yet they often herald exciting changes for the better and help clear away much of the toxic “junk” we have been carrying. The process of reclaiming power and rebalancing energy, by walking away for a time from the ordinary structures of your life, is very much like the process of detoxifying the body. When you stop putting convenience foods into your body and begin eating in a way that supports life-long health, something remarkable happens. Not only do our physical distortions rise to the surface; you might experience fatigue, perhaps a headache as a result of giving up coffee, a deep cleansing of the body. In many ways a retreat acts as a detox for the soul. On a spiritual level, the distortions that we have picked up in our lives also tend to rise to the surface to be cleared away. We may find ourselves temporarily riddled with depression or a sense of meaninglessness, fear, the feeling that the life we are living in no way satisfies our inner need. WRITE IT DOWN On any retreat, it is essential to keep a journal of what you are thinking and how you are feeling, both physically and spiritually. We often forget that mind and body are one, not two separate entities. Nothing brings this truth more to consciousness than the process of retreating from our day-to-day life. For when you let go of the structures of your life for a time, the ideas, feelings, memories, and concerns that have been floating beneath the surface rise up into awareness. This is where it is important not to identify with them, but rather to just remark that they are there, record them, and learn to look at them objectively knowing that the fact they have risen to the surface means that they are probably ready to be got rid of, often leaving us lighter and freer than ever before. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE Simultaneously, probably because the psyche is so rich and complex and when you are on retreat you hear the whispers of your soul better than any other time, we tend to get tiny messages from the soul. We often get a sense of things that we want to do or be, learn, or try. Some of these things may be insignificant, while others seem to be very large indeed. Record these “whispers” in a journal, right alongside any negative or confusing feelings which surface. At the end of a retreat, you can then go back to these whispers which you have recorded. Make a decision to act upon one or two of the things you want, whether they be apparently insignificant things such as I want to change the way my hair is cut, or large issues such as I want to go back to university and learn new skills. DISCOVER YOUR PASSIONS A retreat can help us come in touch with passions of the soul. Passion, I believe, holds the key to everything, and more than anything else, the stressful demanding lives that we live, where we are living mostly by other people’s rules (being the good employee, the good mother, the good wife etc.) tend to make us deaf to the whispers of our soul. A retreat can awaken again our ability to hear these passions. A NEW LIFE BEGINS The real trick to making retreats work for you comes after the retreat is over. It’s at that point, when you look back into your journal and find out what it is, and are reminded of the things that you most want. These are not just things that you think might be possible, but what you really want in your life. Decide to bring into being only one or two of the things that you want most to do. This is how we ground our spiritual insights in our day-to-day lives and then gradually, bit by bit, day by day, we not only find that the “distortions” we have carried so long have lessened, loosening their hold on us. With each action we take, following one or two or more of what one hears from within, it becomes easier and easier to connect with our soul’s whispers and therefore easier and easier to live an infinitely rewarding, authentic life. And, as often as not, all this can begin with a simple intention to retreat.

To make the most of your potential you have to truly own your body. This means realizing that your entire body, from the roots of your hair to the tips of your toes, is the embodiment of your Self. Sadly most of us dissociate from our body. We imagine ourselves as a mind somewhere in our heads which is responsible for the rest of us from the neck down. This dissociation encourages us to treat our bodies with contempt: we eat the wrong foods, drink too much, and continually drive ourselves beyond the state of fatigue. Then, when we suffer from pains or get sick we wonder foolishly why fate seems to have it in for us. Sound familiar? Rather than treat your body like a machine which seems to break down for no apparent reason, you need to begin listening to what it tells you. Very often, we can prevent illness or heal ourselves by taking the trouble to tune into our bodies. By increasing your awareness and sensitivity throughout your body, you can not only avoid many health and beauty hazards, you can also learn to apply all of yourself to whatever you are doing and so function at a much more efficient level in everything you do. Total involvement can bring with it great joy and a sense of energy. "Lord, Help me to accept the things I cannot change. Give me the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." It is important to begin by accepting your own form. All of us have things which we dislike about our bodies. It may be the size of your bust or your hips/waist/thighs, the shape of your nose or chin, your teeth, hair, etc. We waste far too much time and energy worrying about the parts of ourselves that we dislike, instead of focusing on the positive things and putting our energy into the task at hand. Try the following exercise to put your dislikes into perspective. confront the mirror Stand in front of a full-length mirror naked and use a hand mirror to take a really good look at yourself from all angles. Make a list of all the things you dislike about yourself. Be thorough and write down everything you see which you dislike. Now take a pen and give each item a code. If it is something that cannot be changed, for example your height, mark it with a "I" for impossible. If it is something that would require professional help to fix such as chipped or gappy teeth, bust size, disfiguring scars, etc. mark it with a "P." If it something that you know can be changed such as your haircut, muscle tone, weight, excess body hair etc., mark it with a "C." I - impossible to change P - professional assistance c - possible to change for instance... some sample dislikes might be: BUST TOO SMALL I/P I wouldn't want to go through implantation surgery. Perhaps if I slim a bit I'll lose some weight from my hips and my bust won't look so small by comparison. HIPS TOO BIG C I really would like to do something once and for all about my weight problem so that I can wear more attractive clothes and feel like less of a moose. DOUBLE CHIN C/P A face lift would be too expensive. I'll look into exercises to tone my chin and neck muscles. THIN HAIR - CUT DOESN'T SUIT ME C It's definitely time to change this haircut. I think perhaps I'll try a better hairdresser, even if it is more expensive. Hopefully a good professional will be able to tell me what style would suit me best. DARK CIRCLES UNDER EYES I/C I'm not sure if I can get rid of them. Perhaps a detoxification diet for a few days would help? ONE EAR HIGHER THAN THE OTHER I I think I'm stuck with this one. SPLITTING NAILS C I would really love to have long strong nails. I'll promise myself to manicure them regularly and take some vitamin and mineral supplements to strengthen them. CELLULITE ON THIGHS I/P/C? I'm not sure how to get rid of it, but I can't accept it so I'll do what I can. EXCESS HAIR ON MY THIGHS P For the moment I don't really care, but perhaps I'll get my legs waxed before I go on holiday. First, look at the C's. Decide whether you really care enough about the thing to change it. If you do, underline it, and make a mental decision to take action on it. If you don't care enough to do something about it, then it's not worth worrying about any more, so cross it off your list. Now look at the P's and decide whether they are really a possibility - could you afford the expense of professional help? Is the problem really that important to you? Again, either decide to do something about it and begin by making inquiries, or choose to accept it and cross it off your list. Finally, count the number of "impossible" dislikes you are left with. Take another look at yourself in the mirror and this time, beside the first list, make a second list of all the things you do like about yourself. Go on writing things down until your list of likes is at least as long as your list of impossible dislikes. If you run out of things you like then write down the things about yourself which you don't mind. some sample likes might be: EYES People have told me they're nice HANDS I quite like my hands HAIR I like the natural color of my hair LEGS I suppose my legs aren't too bad, although I could lose some weight from my thighs. Make a decision to begin to appreciate and accentuate your positive features and not dwell on your dislikes. The more you focus on your good points, the less you'll notice or even care about your dislikes.

With the best will in the world to live from your core, and the most conscientious attitude towards living a high-energy lifestyle, you may have no idea just how many factors can still drain your energy. Some, such as the way you eat or how much exercise you get, are fairly self-evident. Others, such as the invisible electromagnetic fields that surround you, are more tricky to fathom. The most elusive of all are the silent attitudes and beliefs you hold within. These inner drainers can affect your energy at any moment of the day without your even being conscious of it. When they do, the smallest challenge or inconvenience becomes a tremendous burden, your stress levels soar and your energy levels plummet. Use the following exercise to help identify your inner energy-draining attitudes. 1. How do you usually feel when you wake up in the morning? I just want to go back to sleep I am excited about the day ahead 2. When you look in the mirror do you... Fret over my wrinkles/grey hairs/ blemishes and feel down about myself? Feel pleased about myself and good about the way I look - imperfections and all? 3. When confronted with a difficult task at home or at work do you think... What a pain, perhaps if I avoid it someone else will do it? Here's a good challenge - a way to really stretch myself? 4. Looking forward to a romantic evening do you... Create a scenario of doom in case things work out badly - that way I won't be disappointed? Enjoy imagining how wonderful the evening is going to be? 5. When you have an argument with your partner do you say to yourself... This is typical, he doesn't understand my needs. I'll never have a decent relationship? Maybe getting things out in the open can help us understand one another better and feel closer than before? 6. When you get a cold do you think... Just my luck! I always catch a cold at the worst possible moment? My body is obviously run down. Let me see how I can change my diet or my lifestyle in order to better support my needs? 7. When someone pays you a compliment do you... Dismiss it as untrue and then try to work out what their ulterior motive is? Accept the compliment graciously and thank them for their kindness? 8. What is your attitude towards your job? I hate it. I'm overworked and underpaid, but I have to stick it - there's so much unemployment about I can't expect to find another one? I enjoy my work. It gives me a chance to use my talents in a fulfilling way and I feel personally and financially rewarded? 9. You are tired and decide to spend a restful evening alone. A friend calls feeling down and asks you to go out with her. Do you... Go out with her even though I don't want to because I feel I should - this is the second time she has wanted to get together? Tell her I'm too tired, but I would be happy go out another night and enjoy my evening alone? 10. You are invited to a family christening which you don't want to go to. Do you... Go because I'm expected to. My family make such a fuss if I don't - I hate family gatherings? Either excuse myself because there is something else I want to do or go because I would enjoy making my family happy? 11. When you look back on your past do you Feel resentful about the opportunities I didn't have and regret many of the things I have and haven't done? Feel grateful for the circumstances that have made me who I am and feel that if I could go back I wouldn't change a thing? 12. Do you feel your future happiness depends upon... Finding the right relationship, the right job, earning lots of money and hoping that not too many things go wrong? Continuing to live from my core and allowing my life to unfold with optimistic anticipation? If you identified mostly with the attitudes in the left hand column it is likely that you suffer considerably from the Inner Energy Drainers. Make a note of your beliefs and assumptions - write them down - with regard to some of the key issues in your life: 1. Your physical appearance - Do you believe that you can look the way you'd like to? If not, why not? 2. Your health - Do you believe that you can enjoy good health? If not, why not? 3. Your relationships - Do you believe that you can have good relationships with your friends? Your family? Your lover? If not, why not? 4. Your Home - Do you believe you can live in your ideal home? If not, why not? 5. Your work - Do you believe that you can have a satisfying, enjoyable and well paid job? If not, why not? 6. Your purpose - Do you believe you have a purpose in life? If so, what is it? Do you believe you can fulfil it? If not, why not? It is important to realise just how much the negative beliefs you hold about yourself and your life can limit not only the amount of energy you have, but also your potential for happiness and personal fulfilment. By becoming aware of any limiting belief you secretly carry inside, you can begin the process of melting it away. Then your inner draining attitudes can become inner strengthening ones instead. HANDLING THE EMOTIONAL DRAINERS Just as it is common to hold negative beliefs, so many of us harbor negative feelings which deplete us of energy. A common one is anger. Anger in itself does not drain energy. It can be the driving force to achieving a goal. When anger is held in, however, it can turn into depression or resentment - both significant drainers. Another common energy drainer is fear or anxiety. Here are three techniques useful for clearing negative emotional drainers. The first - The Forgiveness Letter - is especially good for anger or resentment. The second, Give Away, is good for dealing with fear and anxiety when they arise. The last one, Rewrite Your Past, helps you to reorientate the way you see yourself and your life in order to release any chronic negative feelings you may carry. THE FORGIVENESS LETTER Harbored negative feelings corrupt your perspective on life, and lead you to attract negativity from others. They also make you feel bad about yourself. Getting rid of this energy drainer means recognizing your negative feelings and actively choosing to let go of them. Here's how: Write to any person towards whom you feel particularly resentful or angry (or even to "life" itself). List all the offenses you can think of. Don't hold back from telling the person exactly how you feel. At the bottom of the letter write: "I (your name) hereby forgive you (the person's name) entirely for the above grievances. In so doing I bless you and wish you well, I release my ill feelings and honor my right to be whole, to be free and to trust in myself and my life." When you have finished, read the letter out loud to yourself. Then burn it, letting the flames dissolve any remaining negative feelings. GIVE AWAY Beginning to live from your core can be daunting. As you access deeper parts of your being it is not uncommon to experience feelings of fear or anxiety. Although it can be disconcerting to find yourself in a state of anxiety, once you recognise it you can use this simple technique to disperse your fearfulness. The Give-Away exercise is based on the American Indian tradition of offering gifts to Mother Earth. It can help you release negative emotional energy and gain comfort by reconnecting with the earth. Here's how: Stand or sit cross-legged on the floor. Notice your feelings of fear or anxiety, and try to locate the area in your body where you experience them most strongly. Breathe into this place, and each time you breathe out, imagine your feelings flowing down your body and into the ground beneath you. Make an offering of your fear to Mother Earth. As you do, you will feel calmer and more clear. REWRITE YOUR PAST Feeling unhappy about your past can be a real block to living the fullness of the present and the future. When you feel hard done by because of something that did or didn't happen to you, much of your energy gets tied up in feeling resentful or victimized. Just remember, your past belongs to you. Although the events in your past may be fixed in your memory, how you feel towards those events can change. For instance, let's say that you always had a dream to travel the world, but because you got married and began a family early your dream was sacrificed. Either you can feel sour about never getting to do what you wanted to, or you can look at all the richness the pathway you did take has brought you. Think of something in your past that makes you feel victimized. It may be the way you were treated by a parent or lover, some career advice you were/weren't given, an accident or "misfortune" that befell you. Write about your grievance as fully as possible, remembering the details as well as you can. When you have finished, look at the grievance again. This time ask yourself the questions, "Why did I choose this circumstance? How has it served me? What has it taught me? What strengths or qualities has it helped me develop?" Record your answers in your journal. See if you feel any different about your past (or your present and future) at the end of the exercise.

My first child was born in a huge teaching hospital in Los Angeles. The labor was long and regrettably not natural. I was given an analgesic during labor and an epidural for the delivery. It was all very cold, efficient and mechanical. The hospital I was in happened to be a Catholic one in which every other woman there seemed already to know the ropes since she was giving birth to her fifth or eighth or tenth child. Nobody bothered to tell me much about what was going on or what was expected of me. My baby was taken from me immediately after the birth and put into a nursery with all of the other babies while I was wheeled off to a private room. Soon they brought this tiny creature to me. I held him in my arms and stared at him in stark wonder. Then at three hourly intervals he would reappear for twenty minutes at a time and I'd hold him in bed beside me until the nurse would come and take him away again. The third or fourth time they brought him to me, he began to cry. I nestled him, rocked him, and spoke gently to him but he wouldn't stop so I rang for the nurse. `My baby's crying,' I said, `What should I do?' `Have you burped him?' `Burped him?' `You have fed him haven't you?' `Fed him? Am I supposed to feed him?` The nurse took him and put him to my breast. His tiny mouth opened and reached for me as if he had known forever what to do. He began to suck with such force it took my breath away. It was like being attached to a vacuum cleaner. I began to laugh. I couldn't help myself. It seemed incredible that such a tiny creature could have such power and determination. He too had a purpose. He was raw, insistent and real. With every fiber of his being, this child was drawing his life and he would not be denied. Tears of joy ran shamelessly down my cheeks while he sucked. There in the midst of all that clinical green and white, I had discovered what love was all about. It was really quite simple—a meeting of two beings. The age, the sex, the relationship didn't matter. That day two creatures--he and I—had met. We touched each other in utter honesty and simplicity. This experience was for me a true epiphany. My life was forever altered by it. There was nothing romantic or solemn about it. No obligations, no duties, no fancy games, and you didn't have to read an encyclopedia of baby care to experience it. We'd met, just that. Somewhere in spirit we were friends. I knew beyond all doubt that I had found something real and real it has remained.

I had a beautiful mother. She was a cross between a golden-haired fairy godmother and a Hitchcock blonde. Always impeccably dressed, my mother could walk through a barnyard in a white suit and emerge without a speck. Not me. I am a walking advertisement for what I ate for lunch, since most of it ends up down my shirt. COOL BEAUTY My mother never shared with me her clothes, her jewelry, or her cosmetics. Even to walk through her dressing room and touch them was a crime punishable by banishment. She did share some important advice though: She taught me that beautiful skin matters. To maintain it, she insisted, you need just the right amount of sunlight –half an hour early or late in the day–and no more ever. She was also adamant I needed to eat natural foods and to supplement my diet with some judiciously chosen vitamins and minerals as well. Stay away from sugar and breads and pizzas, she insisted. Never go to bed without cleansing your face first, and nourish your skin to keep it soft and smooth with something really active—be it fresh papaya or an absurdly expensive but irresistible French night cream—to help repair cell damage that occurs during the day. It was she who taught me to fall in love with the ritual of nurturing my skin. At first I balked at the idea. Then, in my mid-twenties, I decided she was right. I began to make a little time each day to look after myself. I came to realize that the time a woman spends at her dressing table (this can be as simple an affair as a cardboard box covered with cloth at which you sit on a cushion) is a time of silence, solitude, and renewal. It is even better than meditation. And it’s a lot more fun. Fifty years later, I still believe this with all my heart. CAUGHT IN THE NET My professional involvement with beauty began when I became Health and Beauty Editor for Harpers & Queen magazine in London. For that matter, I was the first ‘health and beauty editor’ anywhere. Why health and beauty? Because I insisted that these two aspects of a woman’s life are so dependent on each other that they cannot be separated. At Harpers & Queen, I was blessed with a remarkable Editor for my boss: Willie Landels, a man of vision, humor, intelligence and the best possible kind of genuine sophistication. Willie gazed benignly upon my naïve American enthusiasm and my obsession with getting to the bottom of whatever I was investigating and he decided to place his trust in me. We worked together for almost fifteen years. From the very first month, he provided me with the freedom to write whatever I thought was important, and to say whatever I found to be true about it. In the decade and a half I worked with Harpers & Queen, only once did Willie question anything I wanted to write. It was a piece on Outward Bound for women. He thought it was “too downmarket”. Nobody ever changed anything in my copy— except to correct my abysmall [sic] spelling. Nor, after the first few weeks, did anyone attempt to influence or control what I alone decided I wanted to write about. AIN’T NOTHIN’ SO NICE AS FREEDOM Such freedom is a great blessing. It set me free to delve deep into whatever fascinated me—from writing about how Lancôme formulated their first liposome, to exposing the way plutonium, with its radioactive half life of 2,300 years, was being irresponsibly dumped into the Irish Sea from Britain’s nuclear fuel reprocessing plant in Cumberland. It still is by the way. (That was kind of scary. After the article appeared my telephones were tapped for more than a year and my London home broken into twice, although nothing was stolen.) TO HELL WITH PRESSURE In the magazine world, a beauty editor (most nowadays hold the far grander title of “Beauty Director”) is continually bombarded by the publisher and advertising director at the magazine to write about products from cosmetic companies who have bought advertising. Harpers & Queen was no exception. Within the first fortnight, I was approached by its Advertising Director, Terry Mansfield—who later became Managing Director and Chairman of the National Magazine Group in Britain. Terry told me that one of the cosmetic giants had just bought an expensive double paged spread to promote some new skin cream. Would I please make sure I wrote glowing words of praise about the product in our next issue, he requested. With puritanical American blood surging through my veins, I was shocked. (More than a wee bit self-righteous as well.) “But Terry,” I whined, “I can’t do that. I can only write about what I believe in. If I wrote that kind of stuff, our readers would never come to trust me. After all, your advertisers wouldn’t want to buy space in a magazine its readers can’t trust. Would they?” I think Terry was so stunned by my naiveté that he didn’t quite know what to say. When Willie, the editor, learned about my response to Terry’s request, he smiled a secret smile. A year later, Harper’s beauty advertising had doubled. Before long, it tripled. Terry never brought up the subject again. Gradually my articles on health and beauty—some of which, I suspect, were too technical for anybody to fathom—attracted a wide audience. An ‘inside joke’ began to circulate. It was said that the reason why Leslie Kenton’s stuff was so widely was that although, few people understood a word of it, nobody wanted to admit to this. So they just kept on buying the magazine while Willie kept on smiling…