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Eating cereals, grains and packaged foods distorts hormonal regulation and interferes with the body’s ability to maintain its functions within a normal range. These foods wreak havoc with insulin and blood sugar levels, produce peaks and troughs of energy, cause cravings, create chronic fatigue, weight gain and a myriad of other problems, including brain fog and depression. Independent studies confirm all this and more. What’s the alternative? The answer is simple. Replace them with FAUX GRAINS so health and vitality can soar. WHAT ARE FAUX GRAINS? As yet few people have even heard of faux grains—also known as pseudo-grains. These are seeds and grasses which for generations have been mistakenly labeled grains. Grains they are not. They are completely different. High in protein and fiber but low-glycemic compared to grains, they are full of vitamins and minerals including magnesium, iron and calcium. Far easier to digest and assimilate than grains, they are also gluten-free and alkaline-forming when we eat them. These pseudo-grains are great for making muffins, pancakes, cereals, loaves, pilafs and all sorts of other dishes. You can even sprout many of them with ease to supply even more vitamins, minerals and important plant factors to your body. Here are a few of the most-celebrated faux grains. Try adding them to your diet. Amaranth Buckwheat Millet Quinoa Wild rice We’ll look at some more of the benefits that come from using each of these amazing foods in a moment. But first it’s important that you know about the grains you will benefit from eliminating from your life, and why. BAD INFORMATION Most people—including those who believe they are eating a “healthy diet”—are amazed to learn that the common grains we eat, which form the base of convenience foods, play a major role in the development of diabetes, coronary heart disease and a myriad of other degenerative conditions. For more than half a century food manufacturers, intent on making profit, have been producing a great variety of palatable “foods” by fragmenting and reducing raw material foodstuffs—grains and fats and sugars—to simple “nuts and bolts” ingredients. These nuts and bolts are then whipped up into the manipulated convenience foods that fill supermarket shelves—from ready-to-eat meals to candy bars, cakes, breads, and cereals—in short, the stuff that makes up some 75% of what the average person eats. Eating these foods and or the grains they contain encourages rapid aging. Eat a diet full of grains and cereals, and your body gets busy fabricating wrinkles, sags, a puffy face and a lackluster complexion. Then you wonder why it appears to be aging so quickly. Also, as a result of the chronic high blood sugar and insulin resistance which develops from eating grains and cereals, you can end up muddle-minded, depressed and lacking in the energy to change any of this. DUMP THE GRAINS Here is a short list of grains you benefit from avoiding: Barley Bulgar (cracked wheat) Corn and Popcorn Oats Rice Rye Sorghum Spelt (which is an older form of wheat) Wheat (which includes emmer, farro, einkorn, durum and kamut) There are numerous reasons to get rid of these grains from the meals you eat. Here’s an aide memoir: The vast majority of grains cause inflammation. Causes weight gain, sugar issues, food cravings, and predisposes you to diabetes. Grains are significant contributors to the development of chronic diseases including heart disease, cancer, arthritis, depression and rapid aging. 95% of corn and soy grains throughout the world are genetically modified. It is virtually impossible to tell if you are buying drinks or foods that contain GMO soy and corn. This is because neither the grains themselves nor the convenience foods which contain them are marked as such. Under no circumstances do you want to put any GMO food into your body. Nowadays, most grains are badly grown and processed, so that whatever nutritional value they once contained is now vastly diminished. A large part of the 21st Century population are gluten intolerant. Gluten is a protein not only found in wheat but the majority of other common grains, whether or not they have been highly processed. Many still believe that gluten only is only present in wheat. In truth it is also present in many other grains as well. These are but a few reasons to seriously minimize or completely eliminate grains, cereals, and convenience foods from your life. Most people who do are surprised to by how much better they feel. Many shed excess weight and in the process develop a spontaneous desire to increase the quantity of fiber-rich fresh raw vegetables in their diet. They report renewed vitality and wellbeing. They are able to control their weight without having to restrict the quantity of food they eat. To anybody who has conscientiously fought—and too often lost—the battle of the bulge, this can seem like a miracle. In truth, it’s no miracle. All this comes as a result of the metabolic rebalance which takes place by turning away from convenience foods, sugars and grains, and replacing them with nourishing seeds and grasses. SEEDS AND GRASSES RULE Amaranth This seed, which you can even sprout if you want to, comes from a Central American plant rich in potassium, phosphorous and vitamins A, E, and C. It has a light peppery flavor and mixes well with other pseudo-grains. Relatively high in protein, it’s blessed with natural essential oils and it is a great source of the amino acid lysine, which is not abundant in most plant foods. You can make delicious porridge from amaranth. It also works well with foods that have a strong flavor, such as chocolate. Use 1 part amaranth seeds to 3 to 6 parts water. Bring water to a boil, then add the seeds and gently simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Gradually amaranth thickens the liquid. When cooked, rinse the amaranth and let it drain. Use it in stews and soups, or add some butter and stevia and serve as a delicious and satisfying breakfast. Buckwheat One of the most ancient of all the seeds and grasses, buckwheat has nourished humans for 10,000 years. Do not be deceived by its name. It has no relation to wheat itself, and is not a grain but a broadleaf plant in the same family as sorrel and rhubarb. In Russia they call it Kasha and use it instead of rice. Buckwheat is great for making everything from soba noodles to light-as-air pancakes, muffins and breads. It is full of magnesium and potassium and it has a distinctly nut-like taste. The buckwheat seed is triangular in shape with a protective hull which is most often taken off when it’s milled. Millet This tiny seed which we feed to birds is full of magnesium, manganese, copper, calcium, tryptophan, phosphorous, B vitamins and antioxidants. It makes creamy-like “mashed potatoes” as well as “fluffy rice”, and couscous. Millet is a particularly delicious seed, which many still think of as a grain, with masses of health benefits. Use 2 to 3 parts water to 1 part millet. Boil water, add grain and gently boil for 35 to 40 minutes. You can also "toast" millet in a hot pan before boiling to get a nuttier flavor. Quinoa Pronounced KEEN-wa, a sacred staple of the Incan empire, quinoa is a powerhouse of nutritional goodness. It boasts eight essential amino acids, B complex vitamins, phosphorous, iron, calcium and Vitamin A. More delicate in flavor than some of the other seeds and grasses, it’s great for stews, pilafs, salads and breads. You can toast quinoa flour by spreading it onto a baking sheet and putting it into a high oven for half an hour stirring occasionally. It turns a dark golden color and smells wonderful. Quinoa cooks in just 15 minutes. Use 2 parts water to 1 part quinoa. Use quinoa instead of bulgar to make tabbouleh. It’s a great substitute for rice and rice pudding. Wild Rice Not a true member of the rice family, wild rice is an aquatic grass with edible seeds. It grows in cold-weather country and is very high in protein. It’s one of my personal favorite foods. It was once a staple of Native Americans from the Algonquin to the Soux. I was first introduced to wild rice by my mother, who was part American Indian. It has a distinctive nutty flavor, chewy texture and contains almost twice as much protein and fiber as does brown rice. Like many of the seeds and grasses, wild rice is relatively low in calories. It is also easy to cook the same as you would ordinary rice, and wonderful served with chicken, fish, or curry. THE WAY AHEAD Eliminating wheat, maize, sugars, starches and sweets from your diet, and drastically reducing or cutting out the other grains and cereals, transforms the biochemistry of your body, restores energy and wipes out cravings for alcohol, drugs and sweets. It helps the body grow leaner and stronger, then supports it to stay that way. Although as yet little known these delicious grasses and seeds—are important for everyone, even young children. They're naturally high in fiber and filling to eat. And, when eaten regularly, they help reduce the risk of heart disease and diabetes—even certain cancers.

The “gold standard” “life-saving” tool for protecting women from the ravages of breast cancer by providing an early warning—mammograms—has been sold to us for years. It is a practice which is supposed to protect us from death as a result of malignancy. So powerful is the pro-mammogram lobby within the medical establishment that we have come to believe if we do not have regular scans we are being completely irresponsible. After all, mammograms save lives don’t they? Researchers at Dartmouth in the United States decided to check out these assumptions. They wanted to find out how often lives actually are saved by mammography. They examined breast cancer data from The National Cancer Institute and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They found out that the probability of a mammogram saving a life is well below 25%. They concluded that “Most women with screen-detected breast cancer have not had their life saved by screening. They are instead either diagnosed early (with no effect on their mortality) or over-diagnosed.” But, there’s more: the annual mammograms which we are urged to have actually expose us to serious cancer-causing radiation that may shorten our lives. Take a look at Time Magazine October 25, 2011, and the Archives of Internal Medicine October 24, 2011, if you want more information. Here’s the gen: 50% of the breast cancer “diagnoses” doctors now make from mammograms are not in reality cancer at all. The physical and emotional damage of these “false positive” diagnoses fill people’s lives with fear. Personally I have never had a mammogram. Why? Because my gut feeling has always said “no”. This was long before we had a growing accumulation of clinical evidence showing that the 30kVp range of “low-energy” radiation used in breast screenings is up to 400% more damaging to human DNA (read 400% more carcinogenic) than the so-called “high-energy” radiation which it is often compared to. Personally I would stay away from mammography in any shape or form.

The response to my recent blog “Your Magnificent Self” was enormous. Last week I published PART ONE of my reply to your having asked for more. Here is PART TWO . I hope you enjoy it... One of the most important keys to connecting with your essential self lies in learning to pay attention to your peak experiences. These are times when you perceive reality through fresh eyes, experience the world as a whole and everything in it as being right. All of us have peak experiences yet too many of us don’t even stop to notice they are happening to us. EPIPHANIES The occurrence of these small moments of awakening can be tremendously enriching, for you are temporarily set free from habitual ways of thinking and behaving that tend to stifle your creativity. Look for peak experiences, surrender to what is happening to you, enjoy them when they come. Then record them in your notebook. The occurrences of both small and large moments of awakening can be tremendously valuable. You are temporarily set free from habitual ways of thinking and behaving that may be stifling your creativity and joy. Stay open to epiphanies. Sometimes they can be life-changing. Let me share with you how I discovered the power of peak experiences which many times have completely changed what, at the time, I believed to be true. AWAKENINGS When I was 18 years old, in my second year at Stanford University, I fell in love for the first time in my life. It was not long before I had to leave California to live in New York. His name was Dick Givens. He and I had never spent a night together. Now we would have twenty-four hours together in San Francisco before I had to catch a plane. We walked through Golden Gate Park. I had been there many times before on my own—visiting the Japanese garden, lying on the grass in the sun, looking at the paintings in the museum. But I'd never paid much attention to what was around me except in the vague way I had always appreciated being amidst the trees, grass and flowers. Today was different. He and I wandered aimlessly, aware that, in a few hours, we would probably never see each other again. REALITY SHIFTS I could feel death sitting at my shoulder. I loved this man with such intensity that I could hardly bear the fire that burned in my flesh when he touched my face, nor the surges of bliss which flooded my heart and body when we made love. Then, without warning, my whole world shifted. For reasons I will never understand, my consciousness – my awareness of the ordinary world – became transfigured, luminous. I had never experienced anything like it. As I walk with him, the structures of ordinary reality crack wide open. We come out of a wood, cross a road and step onto the curb. Old men are bowling on the green. Absorbed in their game, they pay no attention to us. Without warning the trees, the grass, the small knoll behind the men rising to a copse above, turn into a wondrous but terrifying universe. Space expands in all directions as though a million tiny holes are piercing the fabric of reality. Each one emits brilliant light. The air, the grass, the pavement, the bodies of the men, the clouds above us, the trees around us – everything trembles with a radiance. It breaks over me in great waves, simultaneously wiping me out as though it is even bringing me to birth in a new form. I understand nothing of what’s happening. DEEP MYSTERY In the presence of this overwhelming beauty, I sensed I’d tumbled into a deep mystery. Discovering love with my son, Branton who was born several months before. had been my first epiphany—my first peak experience. That day in Golden Gate Park brought my second. I am quite sure that the intensity of the love I felt for this man had triggered it. But the experience itself was far greater than either of us. I knew for the first time that by own essential being was urging me to live a different kind of life than I had lived until then – deeper, richer, larger and more connected to all living things. This was my first experience of something overwhelming which, instead of being terrifying, it carried with it a sense of exhilaration and excitement. It brought me incredible hope. That was the day I became certain that the universe is a place far greater than I had ever imagined. TELL YOUR TRUTH What are your own peak experiences? Think back and record them. Stay alert to when they arrive and enter into them. Epiphanies come in all shapes and kinds. Some overflow with bliss, others are brimming with sorrow, still others can be funny revealing to you something important about yourself that you were not aware of. Write them down whatever they are. Be as honest as you possibly can. Telling the truth first to ourselves and then, when appropriate, to some others, has enormous power. Too many of us lean in the direction of being diplomatic and discreet—adjusting our opinions and answers to fit with what we think others want to hear. This leads to a sense of confusion where instead of bringing you closer to your essential being and allowing it to guide you, you become confused—not sure what you genuinely think about anything. LOST TEENAGER That was very much the state I found myself in when at the ago of 13 an embarrassing epiphany forced me to turn away from what I had been taught and decide for myself what mattered to me. Here’s how it happened: I was sent away to a school called Castilleja and thrown in to a clique of privileged girls with whom I was quite sure I didn’t belong, I was terrified. I hoped being at this boarding school would give me the time I needed to work out the kind of human being I was supposed to be so I could survive. I was desperate. It was do or die. Once a month, as part of our ‘cultural development’ we girls were packaged in best dresses, shoes and crinolines and ushered off to view paintings, hear opera, or take part in something else which the school considered an essential part of our ‘intellectual, artistic and social development’. I learned that the trip this month was going to be to the San Francisco Opera House where we would be forced to listen to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, conducted by some Englishman called Sir Thomas Beecham. LESLIE THE PARROT Having been brainwashed by my opinionated musician father to believe that any music written before the twentieth century was ‘irrelevant to now and therefore a total waste of time’, I had taken on his beliefs as though they were my own. All the way to San Francisco I blabbered on about what a stupid idea it was for us to be spending time listening to ‘that old stuff’. When we arrived at the opera house, I was still seething with disapproval at having been press ganged into being there at all. In short I made an ass of myself at everyone else’s expense. THE CURTAIN RISES Then the music begins. No more than three minutes pass before my mouth drops open. I am scared to breathe, afraid that the sound of my breath will prevent my immersing myself in this wonderful sound. Incredible. Magnificent. Beethoven. In the presence of this music something occurs that has never happened to me before. His music cuts through my fear, my rage and my confusion. It fills the hollowness inside me with something so stark, so real, so vital, I can’t begin to describe it. The music and I become one. So long as it is playing, I am no longer alone. For the first time in my life, words come to me – words which will return again and again in the years that follow: ‘If such things exist, I want to go on living.’ Thanks to that experience I would come away from that night with a great gift. It opened up a world of music that had been hidden from me until then. It gave me spiritual nourishment and encouraged me to seek my own values in the world. Decades later it would also lead me to spend four and a half years writing my first novel Ludwig... A Spiritual Thriller. TAKE RISKS To free the Magnificent Self which is who you really are, consider new ways of doing things instead of mechanically following the same old patterns. Never be afraid of making a fool of yourself. When you do, as I did then (and have done many times since it must be said) you can learn some wonderful things about yourself while shaking off a lot of old baggage. Risk standing out from the rest—your own natural way of living, thinking, dressing, working may be quite different from the way you have been trained to do these things. Your opinions may differ greatly from those of people around you. Be courageous about seeing things your own way. Dare to be different in what you say and do if you feel different. The sense of freedom this can being is exhilarating. Listen to the whispers from within you. Find out what you want and then go about getting it. Whatever you work at, work hard and wholeheartedly. This brings a sense of self-reliance and also frees a lot of otherwise frustrated energy for constructive use. DISCARDING ROLES Take a look at the roles you play. There are dozens. We all play them—the 'intelligent woman', the 'man to be reckoned with', the 'expert’ the 'sexy lady', whatever. Some may be useful in getting what you think you want Most are irrelevant. They do nothing but sap your energy. As you become conscious of your own ‘roles’ you discover that have free choice to decide if you want to go on playing them or let them go. The more you leave roll playing behind, the freer you become from the hold they have exerted over you. This lets you come closer and closer to living your own authentic life with self respect, celebration, creativity and freedom. Your unique Magnificent Self is calling to you. Set it free. Discovering who you really are becomes be the most exciting thing you can do The time is now. Just do it.

I have an aversion to lies, coercion, and fraud. A prime example of all three arrived in my letterbox recently from an electricity company. It congratulated me on being one of the lucky people who had been chosen to receive a smart meter. It informed me that, and I quote, “Smart meters are a modern version of an analogue meter. They go the extra step in helping you to keep track of how much electricity your household is actually using. Unlike an analogue meter, a smart meter records your electricity consumption at half hour intervals and sends the data to your retailer power company each day.” Their consumer “information” then went on to describe, in glowing terms, all the “benefits” to myself and the health of my family of having a smart meter under such headings as “Know Your Facts” and “Smart Meters And Your Health” followed by a lot of dangerously ignorant waffle, including a phony chart purporting to compare how EMF emissions from smart meters are completely safe compared to EMF emissions from Wi-Fi routers, cell phones, microwave ovens, and so forth. Frankly, I was horrified. There are a thousand reasons why you do not want a smart meter in your home. People throughout the world who have been exposed to wireless smart meters—experience an endless list of symptoms from insomnia and nightmares to anxiety, sharp pain and pressure in the head, cardiac symptoms, nausea, flu-like symptoms, urinary issues, high blood pressure, hyperactivity, and brain damage in children, who are even more susceptible to damage than adults. Peer-reviewed studies show that smart meters can result in DNA damage, sperm damage, destructive genetic and hormonal changes, weakening of the blood-brain barrier, disturbance in voltage-gated calcium channels such as the ones in the heart, degradation of immunity, and susceptibility to certain types of cancers.   It’s time for you to know the truth about smart meters and the horrendous hoax to the public that continues to invade the lives of millions of people throughout the world. When you have a smart meter installed, corporations are able to analyze your home appliances and use the data completely without your consent or knowledge.  They can then then sell this information to other organizations, to make use of this personal data for their own purposes. Smart meters make it possible for just about anyone to hack into your home and invade your private life. They can spy on people  living in a home by measuring electricity, gas, or water usage frequency and over time. Poor security measures surrounding the digital transmission of smart meter data exposes you to misuse of the data collected. As far as the smart grid, which has been created by millions of smart meters, is concerned, even former CIA Director James Woolsey has warned that, on security grounds alone, the whole smart grid design is, and I quote, “really a stupid grid.” A smart grid can be easily hacked and even completely shut down, making power unavailable to whole cities. Even Homeland Security in the US warns that the electric grids are highly vulnerable wireless systems. Thanks to a compilation of reports from Australia, Canada, and the United States in regard to smart meter fires we now know that, despite all the promotional nonsense about how safe smart meters are, dangerous fires caused by smart meters continue to destroy houses and people’s lives. The Toronto Star reported in 2015 that 5,400 of the electricity conservation gauges have had to be removed due to the risk of the fires they cause. After a protracted argument with the customer service team at my electricity provider, I made it clear that under no circumstances was anyone to put a smart meter in my home. I requested that they send me a formal letter confirming that they would not do this. After three weeks, during which no confirmation letter arrived, I got back to them once again and demand it. What astounded me was simply that these people who were singing the praises of smart metering had no clue about what they were selling. They were like a group of parrots feeding back the party line, completely ignorant about what they are selling.   The bottom line is this: If you already have a smart meter installed in your home, I suggest you ring your electricity supplier and demand that they remove it. If you do not have one, never agree let them put one in. I also suggest that you watch a superb Canadian film on smart meters to find out the truth about these devices. Go online and search for the film “Take Back Your Power.” It is thorough, fascinating, and accurate. You will learn from it all you need to know. You can also check out the list of references I’ve provided below as well as hundreds more to find out the truth about smart meters, which are of absolutely no value to people who have them. Get savvy. Your health and your life could well depend upon on this. Thanks for listening. Take Back Your Power: The Dark Side of “Smart” Meters Invitational presentation to the San Francisco Tesla Society consulting engineer Rob States explains how PG&E's so-called “smart” meters work and why they endanger health and privacy. Smart Meter Fires...burning meters, burning questions, shocking answers. For more information about the ways in which your privacy is invaded: Dr. David Carpenter, a Harvard Medical School-trained physician who headed up the New York State Dept. of Public Health for 18 years before becoming Dean of the School of Public Health at the University of Albany warns of smart meter dangers: Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt M.D. took part in the documentary film Take Back Your Health. He is an expert in smart meters and electromagnetic radiation, which he calls “The Health Crisis of Our Time.” He estimates that 80% of all health problems are caused or contributed to man-made electromagnetic radiation. This short video is well worth watching.

If you can't sleep, keep a pen and paper next to the bed.  When you awaken, rather than lying awake worrying, write down all the things that come into your mind. Don't worry if you jump from one thought to another, just keep jotting down thoughts, ideas and worries. When you run out of things to write, you can assure yourself that you can let go of all those concerns for the night because they will be right there on the paper when you wake up. A good friend of mine awakened each night for several years just before menopause, and would lie silently beside her husband in bed brimming with anger, although she didn't know at what. Finally she decided to get up in the night instead of just lying there. She would go to the kitchen and sit down and write out whatever came to her without even reading what she put down and without trying to make sense of any of it. After several weeks of this, she noticed that the anger seemed to become transmuted into new ideas. New plans and solutions to problems would come through her pen. For her, rising from her bed and writing built a bridge between the inner world, which was trying to make itself heard, and the outer, conscious, world in which she lived. A good night's sleep, as Shakespeare knew, can "knit up the ravell'd sleeve of care."

It should go without saying that first-rate nutrition is a must. All the nutrients your body needs for optimum health, your skin needs to keep it young and beautiful, including the vitamins, minerals, proteins, essential fatty acids, trace elements, and unrefined carbohydrates. Next time you are in the supermarket, take a look at the skin of the woman in front of you and note what she has in her shopping basket. Almost invariably, you'll find that people with beautiful skins are buying lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, while the others have their carts chock-full of refined goods: white flour, sugar, and other industrially prepared goodies. Proper elimination is also essential for skin health and beauty. You need a diet high in natural fiber, or roughage, from raw vegetables and/or whole grains. Finally, don't forget to drink plenty of water, an essential nutrient you may never have thought of. Water helps detoxify skin, dissolving hard debris that interfere with proper circulation and removal of wastes which can cause cellulite. You should get at least six to eight big glasses a day for the sake of your skin. vitamins for beauty Some vitamins are particularly vital to the look and health of the skin. Vitamin A, for instance. If you do not have enough of it in your diet this can bring about dry, scaly, and crinkled skin. Without adequate vitamin C, the collagen fibers in the dermis suffer damage. A lack of one or more of the B complex vitamins can result in redness, tenderness or ulceration around the corners of the mouth. Vitamin E, is vital to skin health and beauty too. Dry, rough, etched, or tired-looking skin often improves when vitamin E is taken in supplementary form. Like vitamin C, vitamin E plays an important role in holding back the skin's aging process, because of its antioxidant properties. Some of the fatty acids such as GLA from borage oil or evening primrose oil, and the fish oils (EPA) and (DHA) taken as supplements have shown themselves to be very helpful in countering a tendency to dry and aging skin too.

I have long been sure in every fiber of my being that the joys of menopause are the world's best kept secret. Like venturing through the gateway to enter an ancient temple, in order to claim that joy, a woman must be willing to pass beyond the monsters who guard its gate. As you stand at the brink of it, it can appear that only darkness, danger and decay lie beyond. And in a way this is true - although most certainly not in the way most women believe. For having myself passed through the doorway of menopause into the realms beyond—almost twenty years ago now—I am certain, as thousands of women from all cultures throughout history have whispered to each other, that menopause is the most exciting passage a woman ever makes. Of course nobody told me this beforehand. It was a secret I had to discover for myself. Like most modern women my head had been filled with the horrors of hot flushes, fainting spells and dry vaginas; with memories of my mother's tears shed over a wrinkle that appeared one day to mar her perfect face; with the prospect of enforced celibacy—after all, no man can feel lust for an old woman, or can he? It was partly by accident, I think, and partly because—despite good health and secure family circumstances—my own journey through menopause was not an easy one, that I discovered this secret, which throughout history women living in patriarchal cultures have guarded close to their hearts: The doorway of menopause which each of us is invited to pass through is a call to adventure. It connects the ordinary world in which we have been living to a numinous zone of magnified power. Within that zone are hidden treasures to match our wildest dreams. But, like every prize worth having, these riches can only be claimed and brought back if a woman is bold enough and persistent enough to answer the call. What is calling? Nothing less than her own soul. This call to adventure which a woman hears at menopause can arrive in as many different forms as there are women to hear it. But, whatever shape it takes, its purpose is the same. It is asking her—imploring her—to leave behind the comfortable world of her ordinary existence and for a time to venture into a challenging unfamiliar place. It is asking her to set out on her own hero's journey—a journey which is completely unique to her. Sometimes this entails making an outer journey to a real place, moving to a new job, or leaving behind a marriage which has outlived its usefulness. For many the journey takes place only in the mind, the heart and the spirit. Either way it is primarily an inner journey which takes a woman out of her ordinary world with all its ordinary assumptions to transform the way she thinks and lives—from weakness to strength, from grief to purpose, from despair to hope—and then brings her home again. So important do I feel the mysterious transformation that begins in a woman’s life as menopause approaches, that I would like to share with you some of the magic I and so many others have discovered in this extraordinary life-changing passage in future blogs. I hope you will join me.

I am fascinated by stories—especially mythic tales. I have an obsession with them. Wonderful myths inspire us, open us to new ideas and help us connect more deeply with the essence of who we are—warts and all. There is one particular myth which I adore. It is not only relevant to a man who can spend a lot of energy trying to understand what the woman in his life wants, it is also valuable to women. This fun story always makes me laugh. Only when the irrational feminine within both men and women is embraced and its will honored can any of us, man or woman, come to live in wholeness. The most difficult task most of us ever come up against is that of accepting the part of ourselves which we find most ugly and loathsome. Yet, locked within what we most hate or fear about ourselves lies the greatest power for our transformation. The tale is beautifully told in the Arthurian grail myth of The Loathly Lady. WHAT WOMEN WANT One Christmastide Arthur rode out with his knights to hunt. By chance he became separated from his companions and found himself at the edge of a great brackish pond. There a knight in black armor emerged from the shadows and challenged him to a fight. Arthur reached to draw his sword Excalibur and call on its power to protect him from all harm. Alas, he had come away from court without it. He could feel every ounce of strength drain away from his body in the presence of the dark and evil stranger who raised his sword and threatened to kill him. Being a responsible king, of course, Arthur told the dark knight he didn't think that killing him was such a great idea - he had a country to rule after all and knights to look after. Where would they be without him? The stranger, bored at the thought of such an easy kill relented and replied, "OK, I won't kill you so long as you return to this place in three days with the answer to a riddle I shall give you. If you fail I shall remove your head in one full sweep." Arthur agreed. He figured that given half a chance and a mug or two of mead, his pals back at the castle would be sure to come up with something. The riddle the stranger posed was this: "What does every woman want?" So Arthur headed home to ask all of his knights and wise men to give him the answer. Everyone from Merlin to a goose girl he met along the road had a go. Each gave him a different answer: "A woman wants beauty," said one. "A woman wants power," said another, or fame, or jewels, or sanctity. None could agree. Time was running out. Finally, although he had done his best to hide from his beloved Guinevere the seriousness of the situation, the third morning arrived. Bound by his word of honor to the Black Knight, Arthur had to face the music. Along the road to the meeting at the brackish waters Arthur came upon an old woman. She sat on a tree stump by the side of the road calling his name. FACING THE HAG Arthur dismounted and approached her with all the courtesy he could muster. For the closer he came the more ghastly this old hag appeared. Although she was dressed in fine silk and wore magnificent jewels on her gnarled and twisted hands, she was unquestionably the most hideous thing he had ever seen—or dreamed of for that matter. Her nose was like a pig's, her mouth was huge toothless and dribbling. What hair remained on her head was greasy, and the skin all over her misshapen and bloated body was covered in oozing sores. Arthur swallowed hard, forcing himself not to have to look away. "My Lord," she said in a surprisingly gentle voice, "Why look you so dismayed?" Summoning up all his chivalrous training, Arthur apologized for his manner, trying to explain it away by telling her he was most unsettled at the prospect of returning to meet his death at the hand of an evil knight because he could not tell him the answer to the riddle, "What does every woman want?" "Ah," said the hag. "I can tell you that. But such knowledge cannot be given without payment". Arthur, hoping once again for a reprieve from death, replied, "Of course Madam, anything you desire shall be yours for the answer—even half my kingdom." The Loathly Lady made Arthur bend down while she whispered a few words in his ear." The moment Arthur heard them, he knew his life and his kingdom had been saved. He was about to leap on his horse again and ride off to meet the stranger when she tugged on his cloak and said, "Now I want my reward." "Of course Madam, what is it that you want?" he asked. "I want to be the wife of your bravest knight and live at your court." Arthur, who only a moment before had felt his spirits soar was plunged into the deepest despair. How could he possibly expect any knight to consent to marry such a hideous hag. And what would it be like to have to endure such ugliness every day at court? WHERE TO TURN "But Madam, that is impossible!" he said. The words slipped through his lips before he could catch them. Aghast at his own lack of courtesy and agonized by having to ask any of his knights, Arthur said, "I beg your pardon, Madam. You are quite right. Come to court tomorrow. There waiting for you will be your future husband." So saying, he mounted his horse and rode off to meet the Black Knight to convey to him the answer to the riddle. When he got back to the castle, Arthur was distraught. The knights questioned him. He confessed that he had won his life from the Black Knight but then told them at what cost and reported his promise to the Loathly Lady. "My very honor is at stake," said Arthur, wringing his hands "unless one of you will agree to wed her." His knights were horrified at the prospect and tried to avoid his gaze. But one—the youngest knight of all—Sir Gawain, the most courageous and purest of heart stood up. "Worry, not my liege," Gawain said, "I shall save you, I will marry the woman no matter what her mien." Gawain did not have long before he rued his offer. The marriage was planned for the following morning and the hag arrived at court. When he looked upon her, even Gawain with all his chivalry did not know how he could go through with the ceremony. It demanded every ounce of his courage. Somehow he managed it. But things got worse. When the festivities were over, the couple were obliged to retire to their chamber for the night. Gawain, unable to face the hideousness of his wife, sat for long hours in their bedchamber with his back to the lady, writing at his desk and praying she would go to sleep without him. Was he to spend the rest of his life shackled to such a hideous monster? THE TRANSFORMATION Long past midnight, as the candle burnt low, he felt a hand come to rest upon his shoulder. "Will you not come to bed now, my Lord?" a voice whispered from behind him. Shuddering with horror Gawain mustered his courage to look at her. To his astonishment there stood not the ugly hag he had married but the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had golden hair and ivory skin. "Why do you seem so surprised, My Lord?" she said to him. "I am indeed your wife. I was enchanted by a wicked magician. But now the enchantment is half broken by your having consented to marry me and so you see I stand before you now in my true form." Gawain could not believe his luck. "Half broken?" he asked. "Yes, my lord" was the reply. "Sadly I am only allowed to spend half the time in my true form. For the rest I must return to the shape of the same hag which this afternoon you married. And now you must choose, my Lord. Would you have me be my true self at night when we are alone together and the hag during daylight hours?" Gawain, whose mind was flooded with passion at the thought of her beauty filling his bed each night replied eagerly, "Yes, that is certainly how it must be." In the eye of his beautiful lady appeared a tear. "But Sir," she said, "Would you then have me suffer the humiliation of the court who cannot conceal their horror at my ugliness?" Now Gawain, if he was nothing else, was compassionate. He could not bear to bring this beautiful woman a tear of sorrow. "No, of course not," he replied. "It shall be the other way round, of course. You shall be my beautiful wife for the court during daylight hours and the hag at night." But this only made the lady weep the more. "Oh sir, would you then deny me forever the joy and pleasure of your embrace?" She asked. HOBSON’S CHOICE Poor Gawain, who after all was but a man (and man has never found it easy to deal with woman's grief) did not know what to do. After much thought he replied, "My lady, whatever choice I make will be the wrong one. It is therefore for you to choose which you prefer." At the sound of his words the Lady threw herself into his arms in glorious laughter. "In so saying, my Lord, you have given the right answer. You have bestowed upon me what every woman wants—her own way. The spell at last is broken. You will never have to look upon the hideous hag again. I am my true self and it belongs to you forever." Such is the power of accepting that which to ourselves is most loathsome. And great is the power of myth in reminding us of it.

My first child was born in a huge teaching hospital in Los Angeles. The labor was long and regrettably not natural. I was given an analgesic during labor and an epidural for the delivery. It was all very cold, efficient and mechanical. The hospital I was in happened to be a Catholic one in which every other woman there seemed already to know the ropes since she was giving birth to her fifth or eighth or tenth child. Nobody bothered to tell me much about what was going on or what was expected of me. My baby was taken from me immediately after the birth and put into a nursery with all of the other babies while I was wheeled off to a private room. Soon they brought this tiny creature to me. I held him in my arms and stared at him in stark wonder. Then at three hourly intervals he would reappear for twenty minutes at a time and I'd hold him in bed beside me until the nurse would come and take him away again. The third or fourth time they brought him to me, he began to cry. I nestled him, rocked him, and spoke gently to him but he wouldn't stop so I rang for the nurse. `My baby's crying,' I said, `What should I do?' `Have you burped him?' `Burped him?' `You have fed him haven't you?' `Fed him? Am I supposed to feed him?` The nurse took him and put him to my breast. His tiny mouth opened and reached for me as if he had known forever what to do. He began to suck with such force it took my breath away. It was like being attached to a vacuum cleaner. I began to laugh. I couldn't help myself. It seemed incredible that such a tiny creature could have such power and determination. He too had a purpose. He was raw, insistent and real. With every fiber of his being, this child was drawing his life and he would not be denied. Tears of joy ran shamelessly down my cheeks while he sucked. There in the midst of all that clinical green and white, I had discovered what love was all about. It was really quite simple—a meeting of two beings. The age, the sex, the relationship didn't matter. That day two creatures - he and I — had met. We touched each other in utter honesty and simplicity. This experience was for me a true epiphany. My life was forever altered by it. There was nothing romantic or solemn about it. No obligations, no duties, no fancy games, and you didn't have to read an encyclopedia of baby care to experience it. We'd met, just that. Somewhere in spirit we were friends. I knew beyond all doubt that I had found something real and real it has remained.