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Despite the warnings in recent years about how dangerous coffee is to health—and there is truth in many of them—coffee has many benefits to mind and body. It’s been prescribed for generations in the treatment of asthma, vertigo, headache, jaundice, and even snakebite. A poultice of wet coffee grounds speeds up the healing of insect stings and bruises. Coffee enemas have long been used internally as a strong purgative stimulant to both the bowels and the liver in the natural treatment of serious illness, including cancer. Coffee warms us, stimulates us, and has a natural diuretic and purgative effect on the body. From the point of view of our creativity and mental functioning, coffee most definitely has something to offer. The cafés in Paris in the last century were filled with famous writers, artists, politicians, and thinkers who enjoyed the stimulation that coffee can bring, among them Ernest Hemingway, Collette, Jean-Paul Sartre, Picasso, and even W.B. Yeats. The most popular beverage in the world is coffee. More than twelve billion pounds of coffee are traded each year. Once known to Persians and Arabs as the ‘drink of the gods,’ coffee has become so much a part of modern life that many dread to be without it. In the United States more than 60% of people drink coffee daily while 80% drink it occasionally. Most coffee drinkers swallow about two cups a day. If you’re going to drink coffee, there are certain things you need to know about it—for instance, how to choose the best coffee and how to protect yourself from the ever-increasing contamination from pesticides and herbicides. From the point of view of digestion, coffee can have a tendency to eat away at the villi in the small intestine. This can happen if you drink too much of it. And if you are not savvy about making sure that the coffee you drink is only the very best, it can also interfere with the assimilation of nutrients from food—one of the reasons why heavy coffee drinkers tend to be deficient in minerals. The acidity of coffee has also long been another concern. If your body becomes too acidic from the wrong kind of coffee, it will tend to leach calcium—an alkaline element—from your bones to balance the acidity of the blood. The good news is great news. Clean, fresh, organic, fair trade coffee—which is the only kind you should be drinking—can be a major source of helpful antioxidants in your diet. These help neutralize the aggressive action which coffee can have on the body. While it was long believed that drinking coffee would increase your blood pressure, recent studies show that this is not a great problem. In one meta-research project involving 11 studies and some 480, 000 people, researchers concluded that drinking one to four cups of coffee a day can even diminish the risk of developing type II diabetes. A Japanese team discovered that drinking a cup of coffee could also lower the strain on the heart by enhancing blood flow in the capillaries. Other recent studies indicate that coffee consumption may help limit Parkinson’s disease, liver cancer, and liver disease. One of the ingredients in coffee may help protect from alcoholic cirrhosis. And coffee boosts athletic performance. Virtually all of the previous research into the damaging effects of coffee was done using readily-available coffee in the market-place, which is contaminated by an ever-increasing number of herbicides and pesticides that build up and poison your body by interfering with metabolic processes. In developed countries such as Europe and the United States, once a herbicide or pesticide is labeled ‘dangerous to human health’ and made illegal, the chemical companies who sell it then tend to send the banned chemically contaminated beans to third world countries for use there. Coffee itself is grown in third world countries. In most of these countries there are no statutory controls over allowing how much of a specific herbicide or pesticide is to be sprayed on crops. Coffee is the second most contaminated food in the world. Organic coffee is free of the chemical dangers, none of which have been fully investigated but which are certainly considerable in relation to human health. So, when buying coffee, go organic. Here are my own guidelines for safe, delicious coffee drinking. Limit yourself to two cups of the very best organic, fair trade, fresh coffee, which is pesticide free. Buy whole beans and grind them yourself just before making coffee. Make sure the beans you choose smell fresh and delicious. Most brands are too old and these can poison your system. Dark roasts, especially espresso roasts, are the best to buy. Espresso has less caffeine in it than ordinary coffee. It is also more delicious. Always drink your coffee black, without cream or sugar, otherwise you’ll undermine your ability to receive all the newly discovered benefits from coffee drinking. An important warning: Never drink coffee when pregnant. Even one or two cups drunk while pregnant can affect fetal heart development and long-term function. Enjoy.

The way you look and feel, how satisfying your life is, and how all of these things will be in your future depends primarily on you. Unless you are aware of this, unless you have an active sense of participating in and being responsible for your own well-being, you are unlikely to develop the motivation you need to make the best of your potentials in every aspect of your life. Self-responsibility holds the key. SHEEP ARE EVERYWHERE For most of us, the idea of taking full responsibility for ourselves is not easy to embrace, no matter how attractive it may seem in the abstract. This is especially true today. Our 21st century culture rewards conformity, not autonomy. The man or woman who spends half an hour a day exercising, goes away for a weekend retreat of meditation, or insists on eating a genuinely good diet is too often treated like some kind of nut—joked about, teased, or simply undermined by other so-called "normal" people. The status quo—THE SHEEP—live their lives accepting all illness as inevitable and all misfortune as something beyond our control, to which we fall prey as “innocent victims.” Such beliefs are powerfully self-perpetuating. And, the values of wellness and self-responsibility are a direct challenge to conventional values. As a result, each of us has to go to special lengths to assert a healthier and more rewarding way of life. For instance, at times we not only have to put up with contempt voiced by the media. We may have to go out of our way to pursue the simple goal of optimum health—choosing to buy real food instead of opting for over-processed supermarket fare. We may also have to excuse ourselves from irrelevant social commitments in order to do what we love most and believe is best for our own lives and the lives of those we love. THE GOOD NEWS At this point in history, a current of awareness of the power and importance of self determination, wholeness and health is beginning to challenge dumbed-down conformism. This makes it easier than it would have been twenty years ago for us to discover our own truths and live them. A steadily growing number of men and women have become determined to live life their own way and fulfil their full potentials. I believe that there is more support around us than ever before to help us do this. There are some good books (and a great many not-so-good ones alas) which give useful information about real nutrition, meditation, exercise, and self reliance. There are a number of interesting programs and techniques that encourage personal growth. A few of the best-known include bioenergetics, Transactional Analysis, transpersonal psychology, Reiki and Alexander Technique. None give any final answers, but all offer modalities that can be helpful in breaking up old, inappropriate belief systems, habits, and behavior patterns pointing the way toward greater autonomy. I personally steer clear of organizations and “gurus.” I mistrust personality cults that surround leaders who claim to show you step-by-step the path to enlightenment or whatever else they happen to be selling. The truth is never to be found outside of ourselves. FORGE NEW HABITS Just as regressive choices and negative behavior patterns tend to reinforce themselves, so growth choices and choices for individual freedom, authenticity, and self-reliance make it progressively easier and easier for us to grow, discover our values, and learn to live our truth from the core of our unique essential being. What in the beginning may seem a bit difficult—say, turning aside from eating something that looks delicious but does nothing to contribute to your wellbeing—gets progressively easier each time you do it. The rewards that honoring yourself and making growth choices bring—wellbeing, and a steadily increasing sense of personal strength and self-respect become more satisfying. YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE Building self-responsibility begins with acting on the conviction that you trust yourself, not the media, the “experts”, or other people’s opinions. Behaving as if you are in control, and accepting personal accountability for your health and your life, is a simple but powerful way to make it all happen. It steadily brings the control you seek. There are some other things which I believe can be helpful in building self trust and self reliance too. 1. DECIDE THAT YOU MATTER. Accept yourself as you are right now. People who are chronically ill or dependent on drugs, alcohol or non-productive behavior patterns have very little self-esteem. Self-esteem is not something that comes only after you have made the changes in your life which you decide to make. Making positive changes is far easier once you accept yourself and treat yourself with the respect you deserve right now. OK, so you’re not perfect. Who is? But you are just fine as you are. Then you are well on your way to becoming who you will be. 2. TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE. Although you may be influenced by other people's ideas, by what you read, hear, or see—as we all are—ultimately only you can make the choices that are going to work for you. Where you are right now is the result of past choices you have made. Where you will be in the future depends on the choices you make now. Once you accept this responsibility both emotionally and intellectually, you discover you are no longer blaming other people or fate for your situation. Scapegoats get cleared away. You no longer see yourself as a victim, nor do you consider yourself impotent or inadequate. 3. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HAPPY. It is a good thing to fulfil this right. It is not selfish, nor need it lead to disregarding other people's happiness. For when you are happy and healthy, you become free to share yourself, your abilities, your beauty—both external and of your spirit—with those around you. And the better you feel about yourself and your life, the easier you will find it to make choices that are good for you and ultimately good for others. 4. SET SOME GOALS. Goals matter, both little goals and large ones. Not only are they helpful in accomplishing things you would like to achieve, they can protect you from falling into old habit patterns that no longer serve you. No matter what goals you choose, they should be your goals—things you genuinely want to achieve. Goals someone else has created for you or goals you believe you should want to accomplish are worthless. Goals not only carry a sense of purpose. They help you remain well-grounded. It is good to know where you are going. 5. CHECK OUT YOUR BELIEF SYSTEMS. What has formed the habits and assumptions behind different decisions you make? Are the things you have always assumed to be true appropriate to you now? To the goals you have set? To your new sense of self? Or are they outdated? When you choose something, is it a choice you make because you believe it will bring you greater happiness, independence, better health and creativity? If so, go for it. If not let go of them. The more aware you become of why you make choices, the more free you become to make positive choices and trust them. Sympathy from others, or the temporary gratification of smoking, excess eating, and other negative habits is of little value compared to the joy and happiness which follow growth choices. Sometimes it is uncomfortable to face old habits of thinking and behaving and then discard them. With practice, though, it becomes easier and easier. 6. DECIDE TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE. Then imagine yourself being everything you desire to be when you are relaxing of meditating. Enjoy the vision—the more clearly you imagine it, the more easily do your visions become reality. Periodically ask yourself questions about your life, such as "Does the way I am living, do the people I spend time with, and the activities I take part in contribute to my goal of becoming who in essence I have always been but never realised it? Or do some of these things need to be left behind?" "Am I choosing consciously to do this particular thing, or is it the result of unconscious fears or old belief systems?" 7. DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH. Keep a sense of fun and humor about everything you do. The only reason to become healthier, more radiant, and vital is so you can enjoy life more. Pursued as a narcissistic end, self-determination leads nowhere. Pursued with a child-like sense of wonder and curiosity, the process can carry you to creativity, satisfaction and authentic freedom. It’s a road worth travelling...it’s your road.

The way that you choose to eat after an apple fast is vitally important. If you break your fast the wrong way, all the benefits of eating only apples for two days will be lost. Having got rid of the junk, you don’t want to put any more in. The first two or three days after your apple fast you should eat only raw food – particularly fruit. Don’t eat too much, chew your food well and eat slowly. This is good advice for anyone at any time. Putting too much of even the very best food into your system will lower your energy, because so much of your energy goes into digesting and assimilating the excess food and eliminating the wastes which are byproducts of metabolizing it. Don’t eat when you are not hungry, and stop as soon as you feel full. remarkably raw Raw foods have a remarkable ability to rebalance and restore the entire body. At the same time, a high-raw diet provides a full complement of essential vitamins, minerals and amino acids in an easily assimilable form. This means that, unlike a crash diet, which depletes your body of the nutrients it needs and leaves you tired and irritable, an apple fast followed by a few days on raw fruits and vegetables will give you lots of energy. For the first three days you will do best to eat something like this: breakfast Live Muesli or Energy Shake (see Go For It) midmorning A glass of fresh vegetable or fruit juice, or a cup of herb tea. Avoid coffee, tea, alcohol and soft drinks. lunch For an appetizer have slices of fresh fruit such as apple, mango or a slice of melon. Follow with a large raw salad. dinner Begin with a freshly-squeezed raw vegetable juice cocktail, or half a grapefruit. For a main course have another big raw salad with fresh fruit for desert. On the fourth day you can begin to add a little more cooked food, such as homemade lentil soup with a slice of wholemeal bread with a salad for lunch, or a piece of fresh fish or chicken with a salad for dinner. Each of us is different, so it’s important to listen to your body’s needs. Be sure to eat enough at each meal, but don’t stuff yourself. If you get hungry between meals have a piece of fresh fruit or some sunflower seeds. This is not a starvation diet. There is no need to cheat. After your detox and a few days on raw foods you will most likely want to keep that wonderful feeling of clean and fresh vitality. To do this you need to cut out the rubbish that you have been taking in such as convenience foods and highly processed foods, including breakfast cereals, bread made from refined flour, white pasta, white sugar and all the ‘goodies’ made from it. Choose organic tea or coffee to avoid taking in any more chemicals and pesticides than absolutely necessary. Drink no more than a cup or two a day. Don’t drink too much alcohol - have only a glass (or occasionally two at the most) of good wine with a meal once a day. And remember to drink plenty of spring water. Instead, take in foods which support the proper functioning of your body’s natural elimination processes, and remember not to overload your system in the morning when your liver is working hard. Go for eating 50-75 percent of your foods raw. Eat well on natural foods, such as fresh fruits and vegetables, pulses and nuts, with smaller quantities of steamed or wok fried fish, game and poultry. If this sounds boring, think again. sprout magic An excellent way to cram your meals with goodness is to sprout your own seeds (sometimes called bean sprouts). Seeds and grains are latent powerhouses of nutritional goodness and life energy. Add water to germinate them, let them grow for a few days in your kitchen and you will harvest delicious, inexpensive fresh foods of quite phenomenal health-enhancing value. The vitamin content of seeds increases dramatically when they germinate. The vitamin C content in soya beans multiplies five times within three days of germination - a mere tablespoon of soybean sprouts contains half the recommended daily adult requirements of this vitamin. The vitamin B2 in an oat grain rises by 1300 percent almost as soon as the seed sprouts, and by the time tiny leaves have formed it has risen by 2000 percent. Some sprouted seeds and grains are believed to have anticancer properties, which is why they form an important part of the natural methods of treating the disease. Another attractive thing about sprouts is their price. The basic seeds and grains are cheap and readily available in supermarkets and health food stores - chickpeas, brown lentils, mung beans, wheat grains and so forth. And since you sprout them yourself with nothing but clean water, they become an easily accessible source of organically grown fresh vegetables, even for city dwellers. dessert desert? no way Many people think that eating healthily means giving up all the things they like, such as sweet things and desserts. This is not true; I've put a couple of ideas in Go For It to start you off. But before you reach for the biscuits, there are a few things that it’s wise to know about sugar. Most people make the mistake of thinking that sugar gives them energy. True, sugar is high in calories, but these are largely empty. The energy jolt you feel after eating a bar of chocolate comes from the sugar flooding your bloodstream, which triggers the release of insulin. It is the job of insulin to keep things in balance, so it encourages the sugar not to be burned as energy, but rather to be stored as fat, thus reducing the level of your blood sugar. So, quick as a flash, your energy vanishes. Unfortunately, frequent sugar-eaters’ bodies tend to overreact and lower the blood sugar too much. This is why the familiar (and very short-lived) lift in mood and energy which comes from eating something sugary is soon followed by a depressive slump which can send you reaching for more sugar in a vicious cycle of fatigue and the effort to combat it. To avoid this high-low reaction and up-and-down cycle, steer clear of all refined carbohydrates – from sugar to white flour – and anything made from them. Instead choose complex carbohydrates, such as fruit, vegetables and wholemeal breads and cereals which release just the right kind of energy into your bloodstream slowly, bringing you sustained energy and enormous staying power. Eating sugar also robs your body of chromium, an important mineral which helps protect against chronic low blood-sugar and fatigue. Studies show that chromium deficiencies are common in Britain and the United States, in part because we eat so much refined sugar, and in part as a result of agricultural practices which have depleted our soils of the mineral. Eat raw fruits and vegetables that have been grown organically and you will be replacing all sorts of minerals lost through a diet of convenience foods. potassium power Potassium is another important mineral for keeping your body’s elimination processes working properly day to day. One of its jobs is to look after the activity of your nerves and muscles, and when too little of it is available you can become lethargic, weary and weak. It plays an important part in ensuring that your cells receive the oxygen and nutrients they need, and that their wastes are properly eliminated. Potassium is easily lost from your body. This means you need a fresh supply through your foods every day. Two factors contribute to potassium deficiency. First, potassium and sodium are antagonists which should balance each other in your body. Thanks to all the salt added to convenience foods and used at the table to season foods, many people eat a high-sodium diet. Then sodium gets the upper hand, potassium levels drop and you can end up chronically fatigued. Low potassium levels also result from our Western tendency to eat too few fresh fruits and vegetables, which are high in potassium. The best way to take in potassium is to take in lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, their juices and homemade vegetable soups. Also, stop seasoning your food with too much salt. There is plenty of natural sodium in wholesome foods without adding more. Three weeks of eating like this can dramatically heighten your energy levels and increase your over-all feeling of health.

A thorough, comprehensive technique for relaxation and personal transformation, autogenic training - developed in the early 1930s by the German psychiatrist Johannes H Schultz - consists of a series of simple mental exercises designed to turn off the body's `fight or flight' mechanism, and turn on the restorative rhythms and harmonizing associated with profound psychophysical relaxation. Practiced daily, it can bring results comparable to those achieved by serious Eastern meditators. Yet unlike meditation, autogenics has no cultural, religious or cosmological overtones. It demands no special clothing, unusual postures or practices. When you practice autogenics, emotional and spiritual detoxification happens in just the way physical detoxification occurs on Clean Sweep Diet, and once again the whole process is generated from within. freedom from within Johannes Schultz was a student of the clinically orientated neuro-pathologist Oskar Vogt, who at the turn of the century at the Berlin Neurological Institute was deeply involved in research on sleep and hypnosis. Vogt remarked that some of his patients who had been subjected to hypnosis developed the ability to put themselves in and out of a hypnotic state - or rather autohypnotic, since it was self-induced. These people experienced remarkable relief from tension and fatigue and also tended to lose whatever psychosomatic disorders they had been suffering from. Drawing on Vogt's observations, Schultz went on to design techniques that would enable people to induce this deep mental and psychological relaxation at will. Schultz found that when men and women enter the autohypnotic state they experience two specific physical phenomena: the first was a sensation of heaviness in their limbs and torso, and the second a feeling of diffuse warmth throughout the body. This warmth is the result of vasodilation in the peripheral arteries and the sensation of heaviness is caused by deep relaxation in the body's muscles. Schultz reasoned that if he taught people to suggest to themselves that these things were happening to their bodies, they might rapidly and simply be able to experience a state of passive concentration, which in turn would exert a positive influence over the autonomic nervous system, balancing energies of mind and body, helping a person experience a high level of relaxed vitality and freedom from premature degeneration, and gradually clearing away negative thought and behavior patterns that have been interfering with a person making full use of his or her potential. organismic abandon Schultz discovered - as have many since - that in a state of passive concentration, all activities governed by the autonomic nervous system, once believed to be out of man's control, can be influenced by the person himself. This happens not by exercising any conscious act of will but rather by learning to abandon oneself to an ongoing organismic process. This strange paradox of self-induced passivity is central to the way autogenic training works its wonders. It is a skill which Eastern yogis, famous for their ability to resist cold and heat, to change the rate of their heartbeat, levitate and perform many other extraordinary feats, have long practiced. But until the development of biofeedback and autogenic training, and the arrival of Eastern meditation techniques, this passive concentration largely remained a curiosity in the West, where active, logical, linear, verbal thinking has been encouraged to the detriment of practicing our innate ability to simply be. Many experts on the psychological processes of aging believe that it is overemphasis on the use of the conscious will in the West that makes us so prone to premature aging and stress-based illnesses in the first place. get warm and heavy To help his patients induce the autogenic state, Schultz worked with the sensations of heaviness and warmth. Later he added suggestions about regular heartbeat and gentle quiet breathing - two more natural physiological characteristics of relaxation - and then went on to suggestions of warmth in the belly and coolness of the forehead. These six physiologically-orientated directions - heaviness and warmth in the legs and arms, regulation of the heartbeat and breathing, abdominal warmth and cooling of the forehead - form the core of autogenic training. A person learning autogenics goes through each of the six steps, one by one: "My arms and legs are heavy and warm, my heartbeat is calm and regular etc" each time he or she practices. Because of the body and mind's ability with repetition to slip more and more rapidly into the deeply relaxed yet highly aware autogenic state, the formula becomes increasingly shortened until after a few weeks or months of practicing you can virtually induce a state of profound psychophysical relaxation at will. Once you have mastered the exercises, they can be practiced anywhere - even sitting on a bus. balance life energies A key principle on which autogenics is based is that the body will naturally balance its life energies, biochemically and psychologically, when allowed to repeatedly enter a relaxed state. The benefits of being able to do this are virtually endless. Some of them come immediately - such as being able to counteract acute stress and fatigue, refresh yourself and clear your mind. People with high blood pressure who learn autogenics report drops in systolic blood pressure from 11 to 25% and more, as well as 5 to 15% in diastolic pressure. Brain-wave activity also changes so that you get a better balance of right and left hemisphere, leading to improved creativity at work and a sense of being at peace with oneself. Other benefits come more slowly over the weeks and months and years that you practice. Recoveries from bronchial asthma and a whole range of other psychosomatic disorders have been reported, as well as the elimination of self-destructive behavior patterns and habits such as drug taking, compulsive eating and alcoholism. As a result, autogenic training is now given as a standard instruction in Germany and Switzerland. let's begin The basic autogenic exercises are simple. Taking up one of three optional postures - sitting slumped rather like a rag doll on a stool, lounging in an easy chair, or lying on your back with your arms at your side - make sure you are reasonably protected from noise and disturbances and that your clothes are loose and comfortable. It is easiest to learn autogenics lying flat on a floor or on a very firm bed. Once you have got the basic exercise under your belt you can do it just about any time, anywhere, sitting up or even very discretely on a bus on the way to work. If you like, you can record the autogenic exercises that follow on tape very slowly and play it to yourself in the beginning. I generally find, however, that it is better to learn it very simply from the words that are in the box below. go within Lie down on your back in bed or on the floor. Make yourself comfortable with whatever pillows or covers you need to do so. Close your eyes gently. Take a deep slow breath and pause for a moment. Now exhale fully and completely. Let yourself breathe slowly and naturally. Feel your body sinking back into the floor. Now repeat the following phrases to yourself slowly and silently letting yourself savor the sensations of heaviness and warmth as you do. The first phrase is: My left arm is heavy... my left arm is heavy... my left arm is heavy... my right arm is heavy... my right arm is heavy... my right arm is heavy... Let go of any tension in your arms as you say to yourself: My left arm is heavy... my left arm is heavy... my left arm is heavy... repeating each suggestion three times. Continue to breathe slowly and naturally, remembering to exhale fully. Say to yourself: Both arms are heavy... both arms are heavy... both arms are heavy. Let go of any tension in your arms. Then say: Both legs are heavy... both legs are heavy... both legs are heavy... As you continue to breathe slowly and naturally, say to yourself: Arms and legs heavy... arms and legs heavy... arms and legs heavy... arms and legs warm... arms and legs warm... arms and legs warm... feel it Feel the warmth flow through to your arms and legs as you say to yourself: Arms and legs warm... arms and legs warm... arms and legs warm... Continue to breathe slowly and freely while you repeat silently to yourself: My breathing calm and easy... my breathing calm and easy... my breathing calm and easy... my heartbeat calm and regular... my heartbeat calm and regular... my heartbeat calm and regular... Feel your strong, regular heartbeat as you say the words to yourself. Continue to breathe easily and say to yourself: My solar plexus is warm... my solar plexus is warm... my solar plexus is warm... Feel the muscles in your face relax as you say to yourself: My forehead is cool and clear... my forehead is cool and clear... my forehead is cool and clear... Enjoy the feeling of softness and calm throughout your body and say to yourself: I am at peace... I am at peace... I am at peace... the return When you have finished the exercise you are ready for the return. It will bring you back to normal everyday consciousness: Quickly clench both fists, take a deep breath in, flex both arms up in a stretch, then breathe out slowly and completely, returning your arms with unclenched fists to your sides. Now open your eyes. Lie for a moment with your eyes open and just allow yourself to BE HERE NOW WITH WHATEVER IS, then get up and go about your life. When first learning autogenics, you will need to repeat each suggestion three times and the entire exercise itself needs to be repeated at three different periods each day. The best time is just before you get out of bed, just before you go to sleep, and at some other moment of the day. If there is no way you can lie down during the day you can always do the exercise sitting in a chair. If you are practicing in public such as on a bus or at your desk in an office, draw your fists up to your chest by bending your elbows rather than bringing the whole arm above the head for the return. autogenic triggers Before long you will find that even the simple suggestion "my right arm is heavy" will trigger the psychophysical relaxation process in the whole body. Some people get feelings of heaviness and warmth right away. For others it can take as long as a week or two of practicing three times a day for 10 or 15 minutes at a time. To everybody it comes eventually, and with it comes a profound sense of relaxation. Canceling the training session occurs when you clench your hand into a fist and raise your arm straight above your head, or bend your arm and draw your fist to your shoulders, at the same time taking a deep breath and then stretching. This trains your body to return to normal consciousness right away. Meanwhile your temporary excursion into the realm of deep relaxation keeps working its magic. autogenic training made simple Here is an aid memoir for practice. Repeat each suggestion 3 times: MY LEFT ARM IS HEAVY... MY RIGHT ARM IS HEAVY BOTH ARMS ARE HEAVY... BOTH ARMS ARE WARM... BOTH LEGS ARE HEAVY ARMS AND LEGS HEAVY... ARMS AND LEGS WARM BREATHING IS CALM AND EASY... HEARTBEAT CALM AND REGULAR MY SOLAR PLEXUS IS WARM... MY FOREHEAD IS COOL I AM AT PEACE the return: CLENCH BOTH FISTS TAKE A DEEP BREATH FLEX BOTH ARMS UP IN A STRETCH BREATHE OUT SLOWLY RETURN ARMS UNCLENCH FISTS OPEN YOUR EYES LIE FOR A MOMENT WITH EYES OPEN BE HERE NOW WITH WHATEVER IS. Repeat each suggestion three times, repeat the exercise three times a day. discharge the blocks Although autogenic training brings about a `low-arousal' state similar to yoga and meditation, where parasympathetic activity dominates, it stems from exercises meant specifically to induce simple physical sensations leading to a state of relaxation of a purely physical nature. The benefits which come with practicing it go far beyond the physical: in addition to slowing the heartbeat, reducing blood pressure, regenerating and rejuvenating the body, autogenics triggers changes in the reticular activating system in the brain stem which can result in what are known as `autogenic discharges'. These are a spontaneous way of de-stressing and de-aging the body, eliminating old tensions and wiping away thought patterns that may have been inhibiting the full expression of your being. Autogenic discharges can manifest themselves as temporary twitching of the arms or legs - much like the twitch experienced occasionally on falling into a deep sleep - during the session itself, or increased peristaltic movement - stomach grumbles - or various transient feelings of dizziness or visual or auditory effects. These phenomena are harmless, quick to come and go, yet an important part of throwing out life-accumulated, stressful material stored in the body or psyche. cleansing reactions A few people - I among them - when they first begin autogenic training, go through two or three weeks where a lot of old stress and emotional rubbish gets released through autogenic discharge. Old feelings of discouragement or depression, laughter or anxiety can sometimes rise to the surface. It is important to be aware of this possibility and to be aware of what is happening if it does occur. It is only the psychic side of detox that will help renew, refresh, and rejuvenate you, as old stress you have been carrying about with you rises to the surface to clear permanently. Because of this discharge phenomenon, some psychologists in the English speaking world who teach autogenics like to work on a one-to-one basis with their students in order to help them gain perspective on what is coming up from their consciousness. In Germany and Switzerland this is not considered important. There, autogenic training is taught as a matter of course both to adults and school children with no such psychological back up. The important thing to remember is whatever surfaces is likely to be very old indeed, stuff you've been carrying around for a long time and which you are far better off without. three's the charm Begin your practice of autogenics on day 2 of 10 Day Rejuvenation Plan adding it to Clean Sweep Diet. It takes about ten to fifteen minutes to run through autogenics while you are learning it. Afterwards the exercises can be done much more quickly - eventually in two or three minutes if necessary. Rather like Pavlov's dog, who learned to salivate simply because the bell sounded and the food appeared together so many times, the magic of autogenics depends on your continual repetition of the exercise again and again, day after day. Once the initial period of learning is completed, you can then choose to practice the exercises once or twice a day whenever you like. In the process you will have gained a lifelong skill that is invaluable for de-aging the body and mind. Within 10 days to 2 weeks of practicing autogenics,most people feel a steady and increasing release of creative energy, and a sense that great burdens are being lifted away so that - often for the first time - they begin to feel more free to live their own life by their own values. It is rejuvenation at its very best. the zen of now There are two important aspects to making autogenic training work for you. The first is a real acceptance of your current circumstances or position - knowing that anything that you feel just now, whether it happens to be fear, anxiety, joy, frustration, inadequacy or environmental stress, is OK for the moment. It is only through acceptance of 'what is' now that we open the gateways to change. The second important thing about autogenic training is self-discipline. You need to make time to do the exercises each day and to establish a routine.

Skipping, jumping, running on the spot and arm flinging on a firm mini-trampoline is an amazingly beneficial and fun form of exercise. Rebounding will do all that other forms of aerobic exercise can—strengthening your heart and lungs, firming your muscles and more—because of the unique way in which your body is subjected to the changing force of gravity when it bounces. Rebounding crosses the generation gap too. It can be done as easily and as effectively by a six-year-old as it can by an ailing seventy-year-old whose muscles and joints have long before lost some of their capacity for smooth movement. Believe it or not, there are top athletes who use rebounders as part of their training program. Yet the infirm are given rehabilitation on the same kind of rebound exercise devices. It all depends on how you use the equipment. The units, which look like low coffee-tables, consist of a steel or aluminium frame on six or eight legs, over which is sprung a drum of firm but elastic material on which you bounce. They sit somewhere between six and ten inches off the floor, and come in many different sizes and shapes—oval, round, polygonal, square. They don't seem out of place in the corner of a kitchen, or tucked away in the bedroom. In fact, you can use a bouncer anywhere. If you’re someone who dislikes the rigmarole of changing, running and showering, or you find exercise ‘too boring for words', you can do your bouncing at home—even with small children running around. You can dress any way you like, watch movies, listen to music or carry on a conversation while you are exercising. MANIPULATING GRAVITY From a physiological point of view, what gives rebounding its power for building fitness, improving health and retarding aging is the way it makes use of the force of gravity. Apart from a Power Plate, this is the only form of overall vertical, rather than horizontal, exercise anywhere. The up and downward movement on a bouncer, coupled with acceleration-deceleration, brings about continual changes in the force that gravity exerts on your body. All your organs, the circulatory and lymphatic systems, even individual cells are energized in a way no other form of exercise can accomplish. When running or skipping on a bouncer, the G-force at the top of the bounce is non-existent. For a moment, your body experiences the weightlessness of an astronaut in space. Then when you come down again onto the elastic mat, the pull of gravity is suddenly increased to two or three times the usual G-force on earth. This puts all parts of your body, from the tiniest cell to the longest bone, under rhythmic pressure. GREAT STUFF The cellular stimulation the body receives from continual gravity/non-gravity exposure has remarkable and unique benefits. Waste materials in cells are gently eased out into the interstitial fluid so they can be carried through the lymph system and eliminated from the body. Increased oxygen is brought to the cells enhancing cell metabolism. Cell walls get stronger and healthier. Cells function more efficiently with repeated use of a rebounder. This leads to a gentle but effective detoxification of your whole system. The texture of your skin improves. Energy levels rise. Often even within only a few days, your body begins to look younger and feel better, freer, more alive. And because rebounding is amusing, it is a form of exercise which even resistant lounge-lizards take to. Taking it up one week doesn't usually mean giving it up the next. BOUNCE YOURSELF LEAN James R. White, a researcher in rehabilitation at the University of California at San Diego, designed an interesting study in the long-term effectiveness of weight-loss programs using exercise. He put some people on rebounders. Others rode bicycles; some ran on a treadmill. The control group did nothing except diet. All who exercised lost a significant amount of weight and showed a definite increase in the level of their fitness. But in the follow-up study designed to test long-term effectiveness of regular exercise, only 5 percent of the cyclists and 31 percent of the runners were still exercising, while a sound 58 percent of the bouncers were still bouncing. It helped keep off the pounds they’d shed. The explanation bouncers gave for continuing to exercise was simple. First, it was easy. Second, it was great fun. REBOUNDING FOR REHAB A number of sports medicine specialists report that using a bouncer regularly is a great way of exercising when your body has sustained some kind of injury, such as a twisted knee or Achilles tendonitis. It provides any sports enthusiast a chance to maintain his fitness while helping his injury heal. It also helps you avoid the familiar depression that sets in when you cannot exercise. Indeed, many exercise physiologists insist that, because of all the benefits rebounding brings the body—right down to a cellular level—it is a significant and powerful tool in encouraging healing, both of minor injuries and of degenerative conditions including arthritis. At Elks Hospital, Idaho, Dr Kenneth Smith, former head of the Department of Rehabilitation, reports success in using rebounders when rehabilitating patients with orthopaedic or neuromuscular conditions. In a large study involving 2,300 patients in California, where rebounding was used as the major form of physiotherapy, researchers reported excellent results. Bouncing strengthened muscles, eliminated and prevented pain in the lower back and elsewhere, and was helpful in treating both osteo- and rheumatoid arthritis. Bottom line: Manipulating gravity is not just fun. It’s great for healing and ideal for helping you feel wonderfully alive.

A complaint I often hear from men and women who have been on long term medication for low thyroid is this: “I’ve taken the pills for years but I only gain more weight. Why?” Having worked with scores of men and women all over the world, I am continually surprised by the number of people who, having been prescribed thyroid hormones, struggle long term with mounting weight that they cannot seem to lose no matter what they do— people who, nevertheless, shed weight consistently and keep it off permanently on Cura Romana. Let’s look at some of the common assumptions about the relationship between thyroid function, weight gain and weight loss, then maybe explore why Cura Romana is so successful for them… INACCURATE SCIENCE Thyroid hormones have long been used as a weight loss tool with little success. Only small amounts of weight tend to be lost. Once thyroid hormones are stopped, weight lost is usually regained. Often it is regained even when thyroid medication is continued. Sadly, there can be significant negative consequences from the use of thyroid hormone to help with weight loss—for instance, the loss of muscle tissue. And when the dose of thyroid hormone is increased, it can create other problems such as disrupting hormone balance. For good health, the endocrine system—which functions as a whole—needs to become balanced. HOLISTIC REBALANCE All the glands in our bodies depend upon one another to function properly. The thyroid gland, for example, depends upon the pituitary gland to help control the production of thyroid hormones. The pituitary gland produces thyroid stimulating hormone (or TSH). This hormone promotes thyroid hormone production, and releases the hormones into the blood stream. When the thyroid hormone level is low, the pituitary gland senses this and releases TSH, which in turn tells the thyroid gland to make and release thyroid hormone into the bloodstream. This process is often compared to the working of a furnace: a thermostat senses cold air, tells the furnace to turn on and produce heat, and when the air is warm enough, the thermostat tells the furnace to shut off. Any hormone introduced into the body, whether drug or nature-identical, can disrupt not only the functioning of the gland it has been targeted to treat, but the balance of many other hormones as well. OUTDATED NOTIONS It was almost a hundred years ago that scientists discovered the thyroid gland controls metabolism—in other words, the rate at which your body consumes its fuel. Doctors way back then came to believe that giving thyroid gland itself, or prescribing thyroid hormones to overweight people, would make them lose weight. Such notions have proved to be deeply disappointing. You see, the abnormal fat deposits we want to shed don’t get involved in the turnover of energy. This is one reason why weight loss diets don’t get rid of excess fat from so-called difficult areas, like bellies in men and waists and thighs in women. Nonetheless, many still prescribe thyroid medication to people who complain they cannot shed weight. Simeons, who created Cura Romana, understood that giving thyroid medication to an overweight man or woman just forces the body to consume its normal fat reserves—which are already depleted and which no one should lose—and then to break down structurally essential fat without touching the abnormal deposits. A DOCTOR SPEAKS “In this way,” Simeons said, “a patient may be brought to the brink of starvation in spite of having a hundred pounds of fat to spare.” In the thirty years he spent studying the cause and cure for obesity, and in all his successful clinical treatments, Simeons found that the majority of overweight people have a perfectly normal thyroid gland. Some, he discovered, even have an overactive thyroid. Only occasionally did he come upon an obese person with a real thyroid deficiency. He says, “Much misunderstanding about the supposed role of the thyroid gland in obesity is still met with, and it is now really high time that thyroid preparations be once and for all struck off the list of remedies for obesity. This is particularly so because giving thyroid gland to an obese patient whose thyroid is either normal or overactive, besides being useless, is often decidedly dangerous.” CONSOLIDATION BLESSINGS I often ask myself why so many people who have been on thyroid medication seem to thrive on ESSENTIAL SPRAY+FOOD PLAN and then make their weight loss permanent through the CONSOLIDATION process. In truth, I do not know the answer to this question. But it is a wonderful thing to witness taking place. And frequently, with the help of their doctor, they decide to reduce the hormones they have been taking, or to stop taking any thyroid medication whatsoever. I strongly suspect that it is the remarkable balancing that Cura Romana brings, not only to the fat control centers in the brain, but indirectly often to the endocrine system as a whole. For I also see women frequently able to eliminate the use of both drug and nature-identical hormones that they may have been using for years. “I just don’t need them any more” they tell me. The hot flushes are gone, the PMS has dramatically reduced or been eliminated altogether. As one participant said to me last week, “I feel like I’ve been released from a drug-built prison and it’s great.”

This is an interview I gave about what it means to turn 50 years old and the gifts that this process can bring. Tally: You’ve always said that turning 50 and entering menopause are great gifts, Leslie, What do you mean by this? TURNING 50 Leslie: Let me first be personal,Tally. My 50th birthday was the only birthday in my life that I cared about. It felt to me as though 50 was a watershed—the moment in time where I left behind my previous life in order to create a new life for myself. At that time I was writing my first novel, Ludwig: A Spiritual Thriller, about Beethoven. My eldest son, Branton, gave me an amazing birthday gift. What he did was lay aside two days for me and a dozen other people to celebrate, not just my birthday, but their own passages in their own lives. One of the things he did—he sent six bouquets of my favorite flowers—Oriental lilies—each containing a dozen lilies. Then on the Friday night there was a knock at the door. I opened the front door to find a woman with a violin in her hand. She said “Hello. We are a quartet from the Welsh National Opera, and we have come to play Beethoven’s late quartets for you.” Anyway, I had done a fast to celebrate my life-change at 50, basically. I wasn’t, at that time, entering menopause—it was about a year later that I did. Tally: Well my own experience of turning 50 was pretty bleak. I was already in the menopause. I felt horrible—tears all the time, hot flushes, insomnia. I felt very stressed by the whole thing. I also lost my waist for a while, which really upset me. So for me, it wasn’t a great experience. How could I make it a bit better? Leslie: I think you weren’t prepared for it, Tally. Menopause is the most important moment in a woman’s life, for a lot of reasons. My menopause was not easy in the beginning either. Why? Because I had been filled with the same kind of fear and nonsense that the media fills all of us with about menopause. You know the kind of stuff—“Oh my god, what if I have a hot flush when I’m in the boardroom?” and “You’ll get old and dry up if you don’t use HRT!” THE GIFTS OF MENOPAUSE Yet somewhere, deep inside, I sensed that the gifts of menopause might be the world’s best kept secret. Entering menopause, we venture through a gateway to enter into a sacred space that is brand new to our lives. We pass through this portal to claim the joy that every woman can feel, but has not yet known. As we stand at the brink of menopause, it feels as though only darkness lies beyond, lasting for the rest of our lives. This is true, but not in the way that most women believe. For having myself passed through that doorway into the realms beyond—20 years ago now—I discovered for myself something which women from all cultures have whispered to each other for thousands of years: Menopause is the most freeing passage a woman can make. HERO’S JOURNEY The transformation it can bring is rich and endless. Your life can become a journey in which you tap into your own individual power and freedom. For every woman it’s a voyage of discovery which, step by step, wants us to examine and discard misconceptions about ourselves and our lives, to get rid of the fear, and to come face to face with the implications of what this kind of female transformation means. The call to menopause, which each of us hears, comes in as many different forms as there are women to hear it. But whatever shape it takes, its purpose is the same. It’s asking us to leave behind the comfortable world of our ordinary existence and enter unfamiliar, yet sacred, territory. It’s asking each of us to set out on our own hero’s journey. Sometimes, this urges us to make an outer journey to a real place, find a new job, or leave behind a marriage that has outlived its usefulness. But for most of us, the journey takes place in our hearts, in our minds, in our spirits. What is wonderful, is this: however it happens, this journey takes a woman out of her ordinary world, and away from all of the outdated, false assumptions we carry about who we are. It takes us out of an experience of fear into one of strength; out of an experience of grief and regret towards the discovery of a new sense of purpose—from despair to hope. Now it’s time to recognize that all of the things that take place in a woman’s life—like what happened to you, Tally, with your hot flushes and “Oh my god, what’s happening to me?”—are fundamentally a call from your soul. It’s saying to you “You’ve lived a good life until now, you’ve cared for other people, you’ve been responsible and honorable in what you’re doing, but where is the essence of Tally?” Now’s the time for you to learn to live your life from the very core of your being? HERBAL SECRETS Let’s go back to those hot flushes. I have a very extraordinary point of view as far as they’re concerned. If you’re in a boardroom, you have a hot flush and it bothers the men who are with you, that’s their problem, not yours. Most men are scared to death of women in the menopause. They’re not aware of it, but the power that women access within themselves is phenomenal. On a practical level, hot flushes are easy things to deal with. Herbs like black cohosh—also known as black snakeroot, or sheng ma in Chinese medicine—and sage are great to support the process. Motherwort is absolutely marvelous for the menopause transition because it’s so comforting. When you mix together some of these herbs they work best. What I would never do is get into hormone replacement therapy. Menopause signals to us that it’s time to stop being the lover, the mother, the good employee—all of the things we grow up thinking we’re supposed to live up to—and just spend time being with yourself, in that inner place, discovering who you really are. When you do this, you find that even the physical experiences of menopause which are supposed to be negative are really a call from your soul, urging you to find out who you are, and begin to live out the fantastic power, energy, and freedom that menopause is offering. These are rewards of the natural menopause, and of the transformation that menopause can bring to a woman’s life if she’s willing to embrace it. Choose to answer the call, and your menopausal passage can become the most exciting hero’s journey anyone ever takes.

Many years ago, impeccable research in reputable scientific journals confirmed that every one of us benefits from taking the right kind of vitamin supplements. One excellent study in The Journal of the American Medical Association found that women who take over-the-counter multivitamins in the first months of pregnancy dramatically reduce their risk of giving birth to a neurologically damaged child. Neural tube defects are amongst the most horrible and most common birth defects. They cause everything from death to paralysis in the child, and they affect between 1 and 2 babies in every 1000 births. The study was carried out under the direction of Aubrey Milunsky, director of Boston University's prestigious Center for Human Genetics. It involved 23,000 women, half of whom took multivitamin pills containing folic acid—a B-group vitamin in particularly high demand during pregnancy. The results were astonishing. The incidence of neural tube defects in babies born to the women who took the supplements was less than a quarter of what it was amongst those women who took no supplements. So remarkable were these results that they shook to the core FDA officials, who had insisted for generations that taking nutritional supplements is not only unnecessary but, can cause damage our health. Nevertheless, the FDA and CODEX continue to propagandize the ridiculous idea that “nutrition has no significance for health”. The notion that if vitamins and minerals are allowed on the market, they should only be permitted in ultra-low doses. As a result, month-by-month, clinically effective nutrients are being treated as “toxins”. The levels of nutrients they contain are being reduced. Many are being removed from public access in one country after another. There’s a wonderful way around all this which I strongly urge you to explore. Shun chemically made vitamins—which over 90% on the market are—and take food-state nutrients instead. Most vitamins you buy in shops or online are made from synthetic chemicals. They’ve been manufactured in a laboratory in a futile effort to match the molecular structure of naturally occurring vitamins and minerals found in our foods. As a result, they are chock full of chemically-made nutrients. Your body has been designed to absorb vitamins and minerals from the foods you eat. Manmade synthetics can never match natural molecular structures. In no way are they the same. Our bodies do not handle synthetics well. You can be taking a high-potency, man-made synthetic that somebody’s recommended, yet not effectively absorbing the vitamins and minerals it contains. This is a major reason why I am passionate about whole-food natural vitamins and minerals. Good manufacturers of whole-food vitamins usually grow most botanicals themselves that go into their food-state formulas. Using state-of-the-art scientific instrumentation, they test, validate and document the potencies of the raw materials that make up their products with high performance liquid chromatography for testing potency. They are careful in the way they handle other plant extracts which they add to their supplements. They use a specific system of drying which transfers heat gently and efficiently, removing moisture from delicate foods and botanicals in order to prevent oxidation of raw materials. This protects the integrity of the ingredients against any degradation of their nutrient content, and helps maintain the color and the flavor. Since food-state vitamins are biologically natural, you’ll often find that the recommended daily serving of some of these products can sometimes be as high as six to eight capsules a day for you to get the full benefit of what they have to offer. In addition to the common vitamins, such as vitamin A, C, D3, E, K2, folate, and so forth, many food- state multis offer a broad spectrum of bioavailable minerals—calcium, iodine, magnesium, selenium, chromium, molybdenum, manganese; as well as extracts taken from plants also beneficial to your body—extract of barley grass, for example; green papaya; Ayurvedic herbs such as astragalus, foti and kudzu root; and those used in Chinese medicine like reishi and shitake mushrooms. These are often the kind of supplements you may well benefit most from using. Read labels when looking for a good food-state supplement, and choose carefully. But beware. There are many vitamins on the market that claim to be food-state or “whole-food vitamins” that are not top quality. Always make sure that whatever vitamin/mineral complex you choose, it is free of corn, soy, yeast, wheat and dairy products, and that it has been formulated without the use of preservatives, artificial flavors or coloring. See below for some food state products I have personally tested and recommend. Dr. Mercola, Premium Supplements, Whole Food Multivitamin Plus As a dietary supplement, adults take 4 tablets two times daily with food or as directed by your healthcare professional. This product is best taken once in the morning and once at night. Order Whole Food Multivitamin Plus from iherb MegaFood, One Daily, 180 Tablets MegaFood cares about doing things the right way - we refuse to take shortcuts, and we never compromise on quality or the things that matter. Order MegaFood, One Daily from iherb MegaFood, Men Over 55 Since 1973, we have been going out of our way to source fresh and local foods from trusted farmers. We then make our wholesome supplements using our one-of-a-kind process to deliver the most authentic nutrition - much more than vitamins alone. Order MegaFood, Men Over 55 from iherb MegaFood, Women Over 40 One Daily FoodState Nutrients are made with fresh and local foods. Crafted with our Slo-Food Process, they deliver the most authentic nourishment available, which we believe the body recognizes as 100% whole food. Order MegaFood, Women Over 40 One Daily from iherb

London’s Daily Mail approached me a few weeks ago asking me to write a piece on what it’s like to have 4 children by 4 different men. The idea intrigued me so I did. The piece wasn’t published since, they said, “It’s not written in the Mail style.” This week we sent what I wrote to all lesliekenton.com newsletter subscribers. Since we had an overwhelmingly positive response to this piece, I decided to share it with you as well. (This is the first time we have ever done something like this.) I hope you will also enjoy reading it. It comes as a personal gift from me to you. Struggling to hold back the tears, my daughter’s voice on the crackly phone line was barely a whisper. “Mama, Dan died this morning,” she said. Dan Smith, biological father to my third child, Jesse, was much loved by all of my children. He had been seriously ill with a rare form of leukaemia. We knew he could die any moment. Still, the news that reached me at my Primrose Hill home that cold February morning in 2010 sent shock waves through me. “We’re already organising the funeral,” Susannah went on. “We want to play jazz music, tell fun stories about Dan and celebrate his life. Don’t worry about being 12,000 miles away, we’ll video all of it for you to watch later.” I would love to have been there to celebrate Dan’s life. It had been a good life. He was an honorable man—one who kept his promises. Dan had long adored each of my four children although only one of them was a child of his own body. Four years earlier, Dan had chosen to move to New Zealand to be near the children. Together they had searched for and found a house for him so that all of us—me included—could spend precious time with Dan and care for him so long as he lived. NOT THE MARRYING KIND I had met Dan 53 years earlier when I was seventeen years old. We became friends. Later, in my mid-twenties, we were briefly married. I was never much in favor of marriage, however. That’s probably why I chose to give birth to four children by four different men. Now I’m being called a trailblazer for what is becoming an increasingly popular brand of mothering, commonly referred to as ‘multi-dadding.’ I am supposed to be what is fashionably termed a ‘4x4.’ Mothering children by more than one man recently hit the headlines with the news that actress Kate Winslet is expecting her third child by her third husband, the rock star Ned Rocknroll. Kate, 37, has a 12-year-old daughter, Mia, with her first husband, Jim Threapleton, and a nine-year-old son, Joe, with her second husband, Sam Mendes. The former weather girl Ulrika Jonsson is a 4x4, and the late TV presenter Paula Yates was a 4x2. While supposedly gaining popularity, this style of mothering is still hugely controversial. I am told that the news that a woman has children by more than one man is still met with a mixture of horror and fascination. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I have never had to deal with either of these attitudes. To tell the truth, I have never much cared what people think about me, how I chose to live my life or the way I have raised my children. Perhaps that’s a good thing, or maybe I am just naïve. One thing is for sure: I’ve always been one of those women so fertile that that a man could almost look at me and I’d get pregnant. I would never miscarry. I rode horses, went surfing and danced all night while pregnant and suffered no consequences. I am told that women like me are often looked upon as monstrously selfish, bad mothers. They are accused of being feckless for having multiple lovers and just plain wrong for not providing their children with a ‘traditional family setup.’ I’m sure some traditional families are genuinely wise, stable and happy. The parents love each other and care for their children with great devotion and joy. But, in my experience, such families are few and far between. KIDS MATTER MOST What matters most in child rearing is neither convention nor family labels. It is the children. Children brought up by a devoted single mother (or single father) who lovingly trusts their own parental instincts and forms honest relationships with each child in their care, thrive. I believe this is far better than desperately trying to hold on to a marriage that doesn’t work ‘for the children’s sake.’ What I find sad is the way an ordinary single woman—not a movie star or media giant—who has children by more than one man and has to bring them up by herself, earning a living and juggling the needs not only of her children but also increasingly of their fathers, doesn't get the attention, sympathy, or anywhere near the admiration she deserves. It’s a challenging job for any woman. I know, I’ve done it. I’ve raised four children all on my own, earned the money for our family, stayed up all night caring for them when they had measles, chicken pox or mumps, then got up the next morning to make breakfast and iron that school uniform about which I was told, “Mama...my teacher says it has to be perfect.” Many a time I worried where the money was coming from to pay for food that week. LION-HEARTED MOTHERHOOD I champion any woman making a life for the children she loves in this way. It is the child that matters most and his or her relationship to a mother, father, or a caring friend. Every woman has a powerful lion-hearted passion to care for and protect her children. Women should trust themselves, give thanks for such power and use it for the benefit of their children. Kids are notoriously smart. They know when they are being fed a line about what they are “supposed” to think and say. They easily distinguish between what’s real and what’s contrived. As parents, if we want to gain the respect of our children we must always tell them the truth and treat them with respect as well as demand that they respect us in return. As far as the fathers of our children are concerned, they deserve the same respect and honesty from a woman as the child does, whether or not she is married to them. I believe that each child needs to get to know its father in its own way and make its own judgements. MY OWN STORY I grew up in a wildly unconventional family of highly creative, unstable people. Until I was 5, I was raised by my maternal grandmother. Later I was raped by my father and had my brain fried with ECT in an attempt to make me forget all that had happened to me. I was always a tomboy. I hated dolls. I loved to climb trees and play football. Yet from 5 years old I was sure that I wanted to have children. When I told my grandmother my plan she said I would need to get married to have children. “What’s married?” I asked. “It’s when you wear a white dress and have a big beautiful cake and promise to love and obey a man,” she said. “Ugh, I’ll never do that,” I replied. “I hate cake.” In any case, I knew she was lying to me since none of our Siamese cats were married, but they gave birth to masses of kittens. At the age of 17, while in my Freshman year at Stanford University, I got pregnant by a 22 year old man named Peter Dau. I rang my father. “I’m pregnant,” I told him. “What are you going to do?” “Give birth and keep the baby.” “You can’t keep the baby unless you get married,” he said. Had I been a little more gutsy I would have told him to get stuffed. But at the age of 17, still wrestling with all that had happened to me in my own childhood, he wielded a lot of influence over me. So I agreed. Peter was all for the idea. Single-handedly I put together an all-white wedding for 250 people in the garden of our Beverley Hills home. I made the decision to wear black shoes under my white satin dress. I felt I was giving my life away by marrying Peter, but I was willing to make the sacrifice since I so wanted this child. As soon as Dan learned of the wedding, he sent me a beautiful sterling silver bowl as a present which I still have. My first son, Branton, was born six months later. When I held this tiny baby in my arms he taught me the most important lesson I ever learned: Love exists. It is simple, real and has nothing to do with highfalutin notions or flowery words. At the age of 18, I realized my life had found its purpose—to love and be loved. PREGNANT AGAIN A year later, Peter and I left California for New York where he was to attend medical school while I went to work as a model to help support us. At that time, Dan left his job as a journalist in Massachusetts and moved to New York to be near us. My marriage to Peter ended amicably three years later. It should never have happened in the first place. Three days after leaving Peter back in California, I stopped overnight at my father’s house in Beverley Hills on my way back to New York. Barry Comden, a man much older than I whom I had known since I was 14 but never had a sexual relationship with, discovered I was in town and came to see me. I made love to him once and knew immediately that I was pregnant again. Marry Barry? No way. I was determined not to make the same mistake twice. (Years later Barry would marry the actress Doris Day.) Nine months later my only daughter, Susannah, was born. It was then that a large tumor growing off of my right ovary was discovered. It had been hidden behind the baby during my pregnancy. It was dangerous and had to be surgically removed. HELP WHEN IT MATTERS Once again Dan appeared in my life. He had always insisted that he fell in love with me from the first day we met. He had written me letters every single day my first year at Stanford. I never answered any of them. I didn’t share his love and I didn’t want to lead him on. He had also sent me book after book which he thought I should read. I read them all and loved them. Dan had always been kind and generous to me. He was always keen to protect and care for me when I needed it. So, when I ended up penniless and alone with two children and in need of major surgery, he offered me a home. I accepted. For several months the four of us lived together in New York. Dan adored Branton and Susannah and treated them as if they were his own. I was longing to leave the United States. I wanted to live in Paris—a city I loved more than any other. Dan was able to arrange a job for himself there as a foreign correspondent. In early 1964 we went. Dan had repeatedly told me that he was sure we were meant to be together forever. I hoped that he was right and believed that if I tried hard enough to be a good wife I would learn to love him as he deserved. On July 29, 1964, we were married in Paris. Like every other man I have ever been close to, Dan knew long before we were married that my children would always come first. I had sat him down and told him that he would have to treat Susannah and Branton exactly the same as he would treat any child of his who might come along. He agreed. On June 12, 1965, Dan’s son Jesse was born. He was delighted. True to his word, never once did he favor Jesse over Branton and Susannah. This was great for all three children who came to know him well and to adore him. When presents were passed out, each child was equally favored. Dan belonged to all of them and they knew it. FATHERS, FATHERS Because Branton’s father lived in America and we lived in Europe, Branton did not see him again until he was 11. By that age I figured he was old enough to make the trip on his own and spend a week or two with Peter. Susannah was not really interested in her father—also in the United States—until she was about 17. She then went to Los Angeles to meet him. A good friendship developed between them which remained until Barry died. A non-traditional, unconventional family? Absolutely, but it worked because there was honesty and there was love—the two most important things in any family, anytime, anywhere. For five years I had told myself that, if only I could learn to love Dan more, then everything would be all right. But I couldn’t. And it wasn’t. Confused and disappointed, at the age of 27, I faced the fact that our marriage had failed. We moved to England and we separated. It was Easter. I went to a Buddhist monastery in Scotland to clear my head. Of course Dan grieved over the failure. But that never stopped him from being a welcome person in our family right up to his death. Years later he would marry Gerda Boyeson, a psychotherapist who died a few years before he did. BLESSED MEN The men who made my life rich after Dan and I divorced were, each in their own way, as special as he had been. Each accepted that my children came before all else in the world to me. I never compromised. I chose men, be they friends or lovers, who brought wonderful things to my children. No man ever came before my children. If any man didn’t understand and accept this, he had to go. One man whom I loved, Graham, taught my children to climb and sail and mountaineer. All my children forged deep bonds with Graham which have remained to this day. Another man, Garth, gave Branton, Susannah and Jesse his much cherished toy collection from his own childhood. Garth took us all on wonderful picnics, introduced us to hidden beaches, sang songs with us and blessed us with his unique brand of joy. Then there was David, a man with whom I lived with for 5 years in my late twenties. David constructed beautiful rooms for each of my children in the tiny house I had bought with the little money that my grandfather had left me, when Dan and I separated. David wrote and recorded songs for each of my children. That was 40 years ago. Last year, Susannah and her partner visited David and his wife in Barcelona where he now lives. AN UNCONVENTIONAL MOTHER Ironically, the only complaint I ever got from any of my children about my not being conventional enough was from Dan’s son Jesse. “Why aren’t you like other mothers?” Jesse asked one day when he was 7. “I don’t know, Jesse, what are other mothers like?” “Oh you know,” he said, “They’re fat and bake cookies.” Jesse even grumbled if, while I was waiting to pick him up from school, I sat on the playground swings. He was adamant that such behavior was not “proper” for his mother. Sixteen years after Jesse was born, I became pregnant for the last time by yet another special man—Paul. I announced my condition to 17 year old Susannah as we were all setting off for a six week holiday in Canada with Graham and his son Ruan. “I’m going to have a baby,” I told her. “Don’t worry Mama,” she laughed, “We’ll say it is mine!” FAMILY CELEBRATION In March of 1981, I gave birth to my fourth child, Aaron, at our home in Pembrokeshire. All three of my other children helped deliver him. While I was in labor, they prepared the most delicious lunch I have ever tasted from fruits and vegetables from the garden. I had insisted on giving birth naturally at home, not in some clinical, cold hospital. Jesse had been born via natural childbirth, at a clinique d’accouchement in Paris. After the experience of natural childbirth I swore if ever I had another child it would have to be this way. As for Dan, one way or another he was always close by. He knew David, Graham, Garth and every other man who was to play a role in my own life and my children’s lives. For many years he spent Christmases with us and with our other male friends when they were there. Dan loved to play saxophone at family gatherings. One year he dressed up as Santa Claus. Aaron, then 5 years old, was completely taken in by the costume and terrified when this rotund man belted out, “Ho, Ho, Ho, little boy, what do you want for Christmas?” It took a lot of reassurance from Aaron’s big brothers and sister to convince him that Santa was really ‘good old Dan.’ UNIQUE & INDEPENDENT As for my children, each of them is totally unique and highly independent. I have always fought hard to encourage them to trust themselves and listen to their own heart instead of doing or saying what the rest of the world tells kids they are supposed to do and say. After graduating with a first class degree from Lancaster University, Branton, now 53, developed a series of successful businesses. Susannah, 50, with whom I have written 5 books and done two television series, is a sought-after voice artist. Jesse, 48, is a highly skilled plastic surgeon. Jesse and I have also written a book together. Aaron, now 32, is a designer and filmmaker. He and I have worked together for the past four years developing Cura Romana—a spiritually based program for health, lasting weight loss and spiritual transformation. Branton and Jesse have been happily married for many years. Both have three children each. As for me, I am probably the world’s worst grandmother. I don't babysit, or do any of the things grandmothers are ‘supposed’ to do. (Including baking those cookies Jesse once complained about.) Why? I’m not sure. I guess because for forty-five years of my life I was a mother. I loved this more than all the books I’ve written, all the television programs I’ve devised and presented, all the workshops I’ve taught, and all the other things I’ve done and enjoyed. Right now, my life belongs to me alone. I love the freedom this brings me. I am passionate about being a catalyst in people’s lives, helping them realize their own magnificence and live out their potentials both for their own benefit and for the benefit of all. Who knows what exciting challenges lie before me. Bring them on!